Moses confronted Pharaoh and led Israel out of slavery. Yet after decades of complaints and rebellion, he stood before a rock and disobeyed the God he had faithfully served.
Pastor Landon Schott sees a dangerous progression in that moment, one he warns pastors and spiritual leaders can repeat when wounds from people begin governing their walk with God.
“In that moment, Moses stopped representing God and he started reacting to the people,” Schott explains in his “Spiritual Leadership” episode, “I Let the People Change Me.”
The danger reaches beyond an angry response. Leaders can continue preaching and carrying out ministry responsibilities while their private relationship with God deteriorates.
“Leaders lose their passion for God and their passion for ministry when they let people change their relationship with God.”
Schott identifies 11 warning signs, followed by five practical steps to confront the damage.
11 signs people are changing your relationship with God
1. You stop spending time with God
“People are beginning to change you when you stop spending time with God.”
The pressure of serving people begins consuming the time once reserved for the Lord. Schott warns that struggling leaders often search for answers outside God’s presence while neglecting the place where they receive strength. Ministry responsibilities keep multiplying as personal devotion slips away.
2. You fear people more than the Lord
“People begin to change you when you start fearing people more than fearing the Lord.”
Decisions begin revolving around who will complain, leave or stop giving. Schott points to Saul’s confession in 1 Samuel 15:24 as a warning about obeying people at God’s expense. When their approval controls a leader’s choices, fear has begun directing the ministry.
3. Your time with God becomes entirely about them
“People begin to change you when your time with the Lord becomes just about them and not about you and God.”
Even prayer can become consumed by church conflict and other people’s needs. Schott protects personal time with God separately from his intercession for the congregation. A pastor still needs to approach the Lord personally, bringing his own heart before Him.
4. What people did overshadows what God has done
Schott warns against dwelling on personal wounds more than “what God has done for you.”
Betrayal can occupy the mind long after the conversation ends or the person leaves. Rehearsing those injuries allows them to dominate the leader’s attention. Schott urges pastors to recognize when their thoughts keep returning to an offense while God’s faithfulness fades into the background.
5. You stop trusting people
“People begin to change you when you stop trusting people.”
A painful relationship can begin shaping every relationship that follows. Schott identifies the loss of trust as evidence that previous wounds are changing the leader. The damage spreads when someone else’s betrayal determines how a pastor approaches people who never committed that offense.
6. You decide friendship within ministry is impossible
“People begin to change you when you start believing you can’t be friends with people you’re pastoring or that are working for you in your church.”
Here, distrust hardens into a rule about relationships. Schott challenges the conclusion that pastors must abandon friendship with those they serve or lead. Hurt begins dictating the boundaries of ministry, closing the door to relationships before they can develop.
7. You begin resenting ministry
“People begin to change you when you begin to resent ministry.”
The calling once embraced with joy becomes a source of bitterness. Schott warns that repeated conflict can change a leader’s attitude toward the work itself. Frustration with particular people grows until it colors the pastor’s view of the ministry God entrusted to him.
8. Ministry becomes a job instead of a calling
“People begin to change you when ministry becomes a job instead of a calling.”
The responsibilities remain, but the conviction behind them weakens. Schott defines a pastor’s work as spending time with God, hearing from Him and spiritually feeding and leading people. When ministry becomes merely something to manage, leaders risk losing sight of why they entered it.
9. You lose the joy of your salvation
“People begin to change you when you lose the joy of your salvation.”
The wounds of leadership begin reaching into the joy of knowing Jesus. Schott identifies this as a warning that relational struggles have affected something deeper than satisfaction with ministry. A leader’s heart needs attention when the weight of serving others overwhelms gratitude for salvation.
10. You lose your first-love fire for God
“People begin to change you when you lose your first love fire for God.”
Schott recalls returning to the Seattle church where he first encountered the Holy Spirit. As he worshipped, he remembered the love that preceded his public responsibilities.
“I was just a kid from Seattle that fell in love with the Holy Spirit that still just loves the Holy Spirit.”
11. You lose your passion for God
“People begin to change you when you lose your passion for God.”
Schott closes his list with the loss of spiritual passion itself. His warning forces leaders to examine what remains beneath their activity: Are they still hungry for God? A full ministry schedule cannot answer that question. They must examine their personal relationship with Him.
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Five practical steps to lead in the fear of the Lord
Moses’ failure gives Schott’s warning its urgency. In Numbers 20, God instructed Moses to speak to the rock. Moses struck it instead, and his disobedience cost him entry into the Promised Land.
Schott urges leaders to confront the influence of people before frustration changes their own obedience.
1. Make daily encounters with God your highest priority
“Make daily encounters your number one priority.”
Schott calls for protected time with God every day. He describes these encounters as the place where he hears the Lord and receives spiritual renewal. Pastors must examine whether they are pouring themselves into public ministry while neglecting their own spiritual nourishment.
“Stay in the presence of God every day with no exceptions.”
2. Refuse manipulation
“Don’t let people manipulate you.”
Schott warns that emotional pressure can arrive dressed in spiritual language. Leaders need discernment when someone attempts to control their decisions through criticism or threats of departure. He urges pastors to remain kind while exercising biblical authority to correct and rebuke when necessary.
“You are not a spiritual punching bag.”
3. Stop trying to convince everyone to stay
“Jesus was the best, most perfect leader ever. And people still left him.”
Schott confronts the belief that sufficiently skilled leadership can prevent every departure. Jesus experienced rejection despite His perfect leadership. Pastors who make retaining everyone their measure of success can become vulnerable to pressure, especially from people who persist in gossip or division.
“Don’t convince people to stay.”
4. Repent of leading in the fear of man
“Repent from leading with the fear of man instead of the fear of the Lord.”
Schott calls for an honest examination of decisions shaped by fear of people’s reactions. He urges private repentance before God, followed by an acknowledgment before appropriate ministry leaders. The issue must be confronted directly when concern about attendance, finances or approval has begun controlling obedience.
“You can’t lead people when you’re afraid of them.”
5. Carefully obey what God said
“Be careful to obey what God said.”
Schott acknowledges that distraction can lead him to make assumptions instead of continuing to seek God. His final instruction returns to Moses: Leaders must remain attentive to what the Lord actually told them to do, especially when people provoke frustration.
“Moses allowed the people to change his obedience to God. So their disobedience became his.”
Schott’s appeal reaches back to the relationship that existed before the ministry pressures and painful departures.
“You got to go back to that place where you first fell in love with God and don’t leave that place.”
James Lasher, a seasoned writer and editor at Charisma Media, combines faith and storytelling with a journalism background from Otterbein University and ministry experience in Guatemala and at the LA Dream Center. A Marine Corps and Air Force veteran, he is the author of The Revelation of Jesus: A Common Man’s Commentary and a contributor to Charisma magazine. For interviews and media inquiries, please contact [email protected].
