Single, But Not Alone

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Paula Sandford

Brenda worked for our ministry at Elijah House for several
years. She was a beautiful, intelligent, insightful young woman in her 30s who
profoundly blessed many with her gifts of counseling and prayer. Almost
everyone was puzzled by the fact that she remained single.

She had a lovely face and figure, and her shiny auburn hair
would have qualified her to pose for shampoo commercials. She dressed
tastefully and attractively. Her bright personality was charming. She was
conversant on a variety of subjects. Several counselees commented that they
could not understand why men were not lined up at her door.

I’m not describing a superwoman who possessed an unflawed
personality with whom no one could identify. Like the rest of us, she had
wounds in her heart that needed to be healed and habits that had to be
transformed. At that time there was a privateness about her that did not allow
many to know her intimately. But neither was there a sign on her forehead
telling people to remain at a distance.

Because Brenda was an excellent teacher and as a single
could identify with the feelings of singles, we asked her to address the
singles issues at a seminar. I will never forget the response she received when
she stated emphatically, “There is life after puberty!” The audience erupted in
waves of laughter. And the people settled in to hear Brenda’s message, which
said again and again in many ways that our basic security, wholeness, value and
effectiveness as persons—whether we are married or single—depend upon our
developing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

He is the one who gives us power to confront and overcome
the hurtful and often crippling circumstances of life; He is able to transform
our weaknesses into strengths. Though you may be single, having many attendant
struggles and frustrations, you are not rejected, and you are never alone.

Brenda eventually married, became a mother and continued her
ministry. She is not a whole person because she found a marriage partner. She
became a good marriage partner because she was whole in Christ before she

Perhaps you can relate to Brenda’s story with the exception
of her “happily ever after.” You are still waiting for the right one to come

“If there is someone out there for me, then why haven’t I
found him?” How often have I heard that! But whether you have never married or
you are single again through divorce or death, the pain is very real, and God
can restore your soul if you allow Him.

You may ask, “What if there is something in me that is
preventing me from meeting the right person?”

It could very well be that there are blockages in you. Some
of the most common are the emotional wounds you have received, lies you have
accepted, judgments you have made, expectations you have developed, walls you
have built, inner vows you have made and unconscious messages you send.

The good news is that you don’t have to continue to live
with any of them. You can be set free. What can you do to get rid of those
roadblocks as they apply to you?

First and foremost, pray. James 5:16 says, “Confess your
sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed”
(NASB).  It is essentially that
simple. Then begin walking in your prayers! Prayer is the key to removing
roadblocks on your way to wholeness. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful
and effective.

Another way to help you overcome these obstacles is to
foster healthy, vital relationships through well-balanced support groups. Some
of the richest experiences in a Christian group happen in groups that are
diversified—young and old, male and female, married and single. God did not design
us to be alone. He created us with the need for fellowship and intimacy. These
small-group structures can provide friendship and nurture for singles.

Continue to develop your relationship with God so that you
can become completely whole and secure in Him.  Being single can be a blessing.  And singles can be a blessing.  Ask Him what special plan He has for you during this season
in your life.

Adapted from Healing for a Woman’s Emotions by Paula Sandford, copyright 2007, published by
Charisma House. This book will help you learn redemptive ways of handling your
inner feelings, self-condemnation for failures, and unfulfilled expectations,
and find understanding, love, acceptance and fulfillment. To order a copy click
on this link




This week ask God to search your heart and show you any
blockages that may be sending unconscious messages and keeping you from
experiencing life to the fullest. Seek His face and allow Him to bring healing
to the wounds of the past and freedom to embrace your future. Continue to pray
for the peace of Jerusalem, the upcoming elections, protection for our nation,
and wisdom for our leaders. Ask God to use you to bless those who are suffering
great losses from recent tornadoes, blizzards, illness, crime and war.  James 5:16; Ps. 23

To enrich your prayer
life and learn how to strategically pray with power by using appropriate
scriptures, we recommend the following sources by Apostle John Eckhardt:
Prayers that Rout Demons, Prayers that Bring Healing, Prayers that Release Heaven on Earth and Prayers that Break
Curses. To order any or all of these click here.

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