Former Navy SEAL and podcast host Shawn Ryan says a terrifying psychedelic experience left him convinced he had encountered hell, followed by months of nightmares and spiritual disturbances that drove him closer to Jesus Christ.
Speaking with Steven Bartlett on an Oct. 1 episode of “The Diary of a CEO,” Ryan described overwhelming fear, physical contortions and a sense of abandonment during an experience he said occurred about three months before the interview.
“It was total emptiness,” Ryan said. “It was the most amount of fear that I had ever felt in my life.”
Ryan said the treatment trip involved ibogaine followed the next day by another psychedelic, 5-MeO-DMT. He identified the latter experience as the point when he most intensely felt the terror. He said he saw no fire or physical landscape.
“There was no God. There was no Christ,” Ryan said.
He said the experience lasted roughly an hour and a half but felt like eternity. His body contorted, and a friend who checked on him later described being alarmed by what he witnessed.
“But it felt like abandonment,” Ryan said.
Fear and abandonment also feature in the account of Bill Wiese, author of “23 Minutes in Hell,” who has spoken with Charisma about the experience he describes as a God-given vision.
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“It’s all the horrors in hell that you have no angels to protect you, no God to pray to,” Wiese said in a 2023 interview with Charisma.
Wiese’s account includes demons, intense heat and physical torment. He has said his purpose is to direct people to what Scripture teaches about hell and the salvation available through Jesus Christ.
In a 2025 article for Charisma, he emphasized the despair of permanent separation from God.
“I understood I would never escape, and I would be alone in agony for all eternity,” Wiese wrote.
For Ryan, the struggle continued after he returned from the treatment trip. He described recurring nightmares involving the destruction of his family and events he believes were supernatural.
While staying at his in-laws’ home in Maine, Ryan said a picture frame flew off the wall as he began a prayer to St. Michael. Later that morning, he said his face became hot and red immediately after receiving Communion at Mass.
Ryan said he sought help from two priests who have also served as spiritual mentors. He described undergoing multiple exorcism sessions involving prayers in English and Latin.
According to Ryan, the priests believe he is experiencing spiritual oppression. He said he remains in control of his mind and body but believes the disturbances are targeting his family and faith.
The experience has been difficult for his wife, Katie, who he said has supported him throughout the process and witnessed some of the events.
“It’s been really tough,” Ryan said.
Previously supportive of psychedelics, Ryan now believes they can expose people to a spiritual realm they do not understand. He also acknowledged uncertainty about what caused the subsequent disturbances.
“Do I know for certain that it came from psychedelics? I’m not saying that it did come from psychedelics,” Ryan said.
He said the ordeal has brought him back to the Catholic faith in which he was raised. He now follows a daily prayer schedule and continues seeking spiritual guidance.
Despite the fear and unanswered questions, Ryan said the effect on his faith has been clear.
“It has drawn me much, much, much closer to Christ,” he said.
To watch the full interview with Shawn Ryan, click here (Editor’s Note: strong language).
James Lasher, a seasoned writer and editor at Charisma Media, combines faith and storytelling with a journalism background from Otterbein University and ministry experience in Guatemala and at the LA Dream Center. A Marine Corps and Air Force veteran, he is the author of The Revelation of Jesus: A Common Man’s Commentary and a contributor to Charisma magazine. For interviews and media inquiries, please contact [email protected].
