Husbands have a high calling given to them by God to lead and guide their family in the way of truth. Those very characteristics that God wove into men are being attacked in our culture today. Men were designed to lead and set the tone for the spiritual climate within their household and that requires the characteristics of a leader.
Suzette, the Marriage Warrior, has worked with crisis couples who have found themselves in the deepest pits of darkness. One key element she uses, is empowering the husbands as the leader, to take control over the problems plaguing their marriage. Those same characteristics of leadership are being attacked today.
“A lot of the YouTube, social media life is really attacking men. Using a lot of harsh words like narcissism,” Suzette says. Narcissism is real and a very damaging problem in marriage. But, some of the character traits people are calling narcissism are really just the way God created husbands.
“God created men with leadership and the need to control things, to organize in a direction to meet and match a target. I don’t want a lot of the negativity that is going to create a divide,” she says.
Suzette empowers men to take their control or avoidance behaviors and maneuver them into leadership in marriage.
“We need the men, we need them to be empowered. We need them to be at the frontlines. That’s where they were designed to be anyways,” she says in the Charisma magazine interview.
So, how can men prioritize their leadership role in marriage?
Anytime you are leading another person your self-health needs to be your priority. The majority of men go into marriage understanding the role of provider, but not the many other needs their family has.
- Emotional support for their wife and children.
- A strong, dependable presence within their home.
- The ability to guide and motivate their family through life’s greatest challenges.
“If they are not mentally at that place with self, they aren’t mentally healthy. If you’re struggling with pornography or an affair, that’s just a symptom that there is not proper mental health alignment,” she says.
To pour from a full cup, you have to be mentally, emotionally and spiritually aligned with God. Without God we can’t have a sound mind. Lean on the Lord and pray for the mind the Christ.
James 1:8 says, “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.”
“Your wives will follow you anywhere you are following Christ. But, she’s not going to trust you if you’re not following Christ,” she says.
Shelby Bowen is an assistant editor for Charisma Media.