Chuck Swindoll has spent a lifetime ministering to others. Now, as friends step in to care for him and his wife, Cynthia, he admits that receiving their love exposes a wound he still carries.
“I don’t receive well,” Swindoll told Matt and Lauren Chandler on their “Between Sundays” podcast.
The struggle reaches back to a childhood marked by favoritism and rejection. Swindoll recalled his mother describing him as a mistake and his father telling him he was not college material. His parents missed his ballgames and musical performances. He felt overlooked in his own home.
“I grew up unknown,” Swindoll said. “Something happens to you when you’re unknown at home.”
Decades of ministry did not erase that ache. When the conversation turned to accepting help and appreciation, Swindoll returned to the childhood label that had followed him.
“That’s deep in me,” he said.
Even writing a memoir proved difficult. Swindoll explained that he wanted to write about someone who had made a difference. His editor had to help him recognize that his own life qualified.
“I still struggle with that,” Swindoll said. “I struggle receiving.”
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For Swindoll, aging has brought that struggle into daily life. He and Cynthia have stopped driving. Caregivers assist his wife, who has dementia, around the clock. Depending on others now touches ordinary tasks he once handled himself.
“I certainly see that I need others,” Swindoll said.
And those people keep showing up. They bring meals and flowers. They spend time with Cynthia and tell her husband how much he means to them. He welcomes their affection for her, then struggles when they turn that same kindness toward him.
“That’s a weakness on my part,” Swindoll acknowledged. “There’s a grace in receiving.”
He also refuses to let the difficulty overshadow God’s provision.
“God’s taken real good care of us,” Swindoll said. “Don’t feel sorry for us.”
Near the end of the interview, Matt Chandler urged him to receive the honor he wanted to express.
“I’m trying real hard,” Swindoll replied.
The church must make room for its weary servants to receive the care they have spent their lives giving. We honor Christ when we bring the meal, and we can honor Him when we accept it.
James Lasher, a seasoned writer and editor at Charisma Media, combines faith and storytelling with a journalism background from Otterbein University and ministry experience in Guatemala and at the LA Dream Center. A Marine Corps and Air Force veteran, he is the author of The Revelation of Jesus: A Common Man’s Commentary and a contributor to Charisma magazine. For interviews and media inquiries, please contact [email protected].
