Recently, I received an email from a wonderful young lady whom I have known for a number of years, letting me know that the man who had molested her for most of her teen years, her stepfather, had finally been convicted and sent to prison. I met this young lady when she and her family attended a Purim festival at our synagogue. Her family looked, from the outside, to be a happy, loving family who loved G-D. Her parents were friendly, and all of their children were well-behaved and smiling. Over the following years, I saw her and her family numerous times in grocery stores, coffee shops and at events at the church they attended. Each time I saw them, they continued to appear to be a happy and loving family.
Then, one day while reading the newspaper, I saw an article covering the arrest of her stepfather. Like most of the people who read or heard of his arrest, I was shocked. I thought, “I knew these people. I had coffee with these people. I saw these people at their house of worship. They always seemed happy. How could this evil have been taking place and nobody noticed? Why didn’t major red lights go off, especially in the minds of those who saw this family every week?”
Over the past few years, the news has been filled with articles and stories of similar situations. Some of them were local people whom few knew and whose actions affected a small number of people. Others were nationally and internationally known, and whose actions affected millions. Regardless of who these abusers are and how many people their abuse affected, the question is still the same and the answer is the same: Some men are pigs.
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I don’t say that to make light of the situation or to give a trite response. I say that because it is true. Let me explain. When we look in Leviticus 11, we find G-D explaining to Israel what animals were kosher and what animals were not. “Kosher” means clean, or acceptable to eat. As we read these commandments, we read these words:
“Nevertheless, you should not eat of those that only chew cud, or have a split hoof. The camel, though it chews the cud, does not have a divided hoof, is unclean to you. The coney, though it chews the cud yet does not have a divided hoof, so it is unclean to you. The hare, though it chews the cud, does not split the hoof, so it is unclean to you. The pig, though it has a split, divided hoof, does not chew cud, so it is unclean to you.” (Lev. 11:4-7, TLV).
Notice that when these verses speak of the camel and the coney, both of them chew the cud, but neither of them have split hooves. From the outside, they are easily identified as unclean. However, when the Scriptures describe the pig, we see that they have split hooves, but do not chew the cud. From the outside, a pig looks kosher, but on the inside, they are not. This is what I mean when I say some men are pigs. Outwardly, they may appear righteous, holy, loving, but inside they are still unkosher, or unclean.
In our daily lives, we all know people around us who are like camels and coneys; they make no pretense of being kosher. They live their lives in open rejection or rebellion to G-D’s Word. However, if we are going to be honest, we also need to be aware that there are people around us who are pigs. Outwardly, they present themselves as kosher, clean, righteous. They attend worship services with their family, and many times are the first ones there and the last ones out. They empty the garbage and sweep the floors, and sometimes they sing in the choir, teach Bible lessons or even preach in the pulpit. Yet inwardly, they are abusers, unkosher and unrighteous.
While we all know that pigs exist, too often when we find out that a man is a pig, we want to look at their outside and say, “Look, they have a split hoof; they must be godly; look at all they do; look at what they have accomplished; look how happy their wife is or children are; look how much they give and do; they must be kosher.” But, the truth is that no matter how much lipstick you put on a pig, it is still a pig. No matter how good a man’s visible works are, unless the inside is also kosher, clean and righteous, he is still unkosher.
It is long past time that the body of believers comes to terms with the truth that some men are pigs. No more excuses. No more cover-ups. Too many homes have been destroyed, and too many congregations and ministries have been wrecked because some men are pigs. The destruction has also taken place because once people find out they are pigs, we make excuses for their being pigs, pretend they aren’t pigs or blame the farm, instead of simply calling a pig a pig and realizing that because the man is a pig, he was never kosher to begin with.
Two last things. First, the wonderful thing about our faith is that if someone is unkosher, they can be born again and become kosher. Second, yes, I know that, unfortunately, women can be pigs too.
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Eric Tokajer is the author of “Overcoming Fearlessness,” “What If Everything You Were Taught About the Ten Commandments Was Wrong?”, “With Me in Paradise,” “Transient Singularity,” “OY! How Did I Get Here?: Thirty-One Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before Entering Ministry,” “#ManWisdom: With Eric Tokajer,” “Jesus Is to Christianity as Pasta Is to Italians” and “Galatians in Context.” Visit his website at rabbierict.com.