What the Bible Says About Dating and Courtship

Dating is revolutionized if the following guidelines are followed:

• Dating should only take place in the context of having an accompanying chaperone with young couples. Or, only group dating should be encouraged. Groups can go to a movie or have an outing, or go for dinner so that two people can sit together and get to know one another in the safety of other trusted believers.
• Dating should not be encouraged for anyone under a certain age. I would say at least 18, although others would say 16.
• Dating should not involve any physical contact. Even something as harmless as a hug can lead to petting, which will then lead to a sexual encounter.
• Youth groups should be taught that believers should not to commit themselves to anyone God hasn’t clearly indicated will eventually be their spouse. This is the only way to avoid soul ties through sexual intimacy. Also, parents, pastors or trusted mature people should all be part of the process of discerning the will of God to counter the blindness that comes when feeling in love.
• Youth should be taught to have greater criteria beyond physically attraction. They should be taught what to look for in a lifelong partner: someone who has God-given aspirations with their career, an education, the right concepts of family and God, the ability to handle money well, connected to a local church, and so on.
• People should be taught to back off and not run to a person to whom they are attracted. This is to give themselves enough time to pray, seek counsel and hear from God about the other person before they fall hopelessly in love and reach the point where their heart has already made a choice to be with the other person—whether it be the will of God or not!
• Youth should make chastity vows before they enter high school. With these vows they should pledge to their parents before God they will not give their bodies over unless they are married to the other person.

Courtship

Although the Bible does not lay out specifics regarding courtship, since some of the biblical marriages were arranged by families (for example, the Old Testament patriarch Isaac and his wife Rebecca were brought together supernaturally by God with the order of Abraham), when we piece together all the principles of Scripture we have a good plan for courtship.

Courtship based on the biblical model of love, romance, sacrifice, dignity and covenant implies the following about how two people could begin a process that may eventually lead to marriage: