Do you ever find yourself having an issue that you just can’t seem to get resolved or find an answer to? I used to struggle with issues like that all the time and I still struggle with them on occasion. I started to find better and quicker resolutions when I realized I needed to take more responsibility for my actions.
I really started noticing issues with my responsibilities when my marriage was taking a sharp nosedive. I had been trying to coast along in my marriage since we first said our vows to each other. My marriage (and manhood) had no sense of direction and it wasn’t getting better over time, in fact, it was getting much worse. And as this happened, I would start to ask why.
Instead of seeking quality help from good resources, I searched out for answers and resolutions in all the wrong places. I’d end up on chat forums trying to sell my ideas and try to get people to agree with me and my point of view. When people did try to steer me in the right direction, I thought they were attacking and judging me. As time passed, I got nowhere in the process.
Since it was all about me and what I wanted, I was never going to listen or hear the right answers that were plastered in front of my face. I needed to wake up.
As I look back at my old self, and see many other men struggling with this similar scenario, I figured out how things could go so wrong.
Here are three signs of irresponsibility:
1. The man won’t take the time to even entertain the resources available to him. He’ll see a resource on pornography, but assume it won’t help him. He’ll see a video on how to build a stronger marriage, but he won’t take a few minutes to even watch it. And worse, he’ll know God is there waiting for him, but he’ll avoid Him.
2. The man will decide to read the article or book, or even listen to a testimony; but he will convince himself that those articles and stories do not apply to him. His selfishness will keep him blind from the truth.
3. The man will think that his situation requires a special answer that’s just for him that doesn’t exist. After taking some time to actually engage in getting some help, he’ll render almost all options useless.
If a man gets to stage three, he will be very hard to help. He has gotten to a stage of irresponsibility that is very difficult to fix. His own blindness to his own selfishness will ultimately be the destruction of him.
There is hope though and there are ways to be a man who transfers from selfishness and irresponsibility to humility that takes responsibility for his actions.
Here are three ways to take responsibility:
1. Understand what your problems really are and realize that there are ways to fix them.
2. Take the initiative to resolve your problems. There’s no room in mature manhood to just sit back and complain about your issues, they must be actively pursued and resolved. Recognize that there other men have already fought the battles you’re going through and seek their help. Take time out of your busy schedule and read some articles on the topic. And when you do find these resources, take some separate notes and write down what you think applies to you. Develop a battle plan that you can review on a daily basis and resolve to stick to it!
3. The most important thing you need to remember about your faith is that “your faith is your responsibility.” That’s right, your faith is up to you! It’s not up to your buddies at work. It’s not up to your wife or your kids. It’s not even up to your pastor. Your faith is your responsibility and only you can make yourself take the necessary steps to fix it. Only you can seek out Christ each day for His assistance and guidance in all of your problems. Only you can recognize that YOU alone cannot fix your issues.
Your faith is your responsibility [tweet that]!
Take a moment to review your life. What is one situation or way that you’ve taken responsibility for your faith?
Manturity is a blog built on establishing spiritual maturity in today’s man. The goal is to assist men in building better marriages and help them grow in maturity and explore different aspects of manhood. Manturity.com features new weekly blog posts, daily social-media updates and a powerful resources page. Stay up to date with the Manturity blog communities on Facebook and Twitter.
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Joseph Mattera 
BJ Foster 
Shelby Bowen