Jesus is not invited to a pity party. It’s the only party we throw where we do not invite anyone but ourselves. Many prophets battled self-pity, and no one is exempt, so it is important for believers to keep their focus on God.
Self-Pity Is an Addiction
It is impossible to care for others if we are consumed with ourselves. Self-pity can activate the brain’s dopamine pathways, which can create an addictive circuit. People get addicted to self-pity and tend to wallow in it. We see this in Scripture with the prophets.
The great prophet Jeremiah cursed the day he was born. He was in such despair that he even cursed the man who helped his mother deliver him as a baby.
Cursed be the day I was born! May the day my mother bore me not be blessed! Cursed be the man who brought my father the news, who made him very glad, saying, “A child is born to you—a son!” May that man be like the towns the Lord overthrew without pity. May he hear wailing in the morning, a battle cry at noon. For he did not kill me in the womb, with my mother as my grave, her womb enlarged forever. Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame? (Jer. 20:14-18, NIV).
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Jeremiah was in such despair that he regretted being born. Negative emotions can lead to aborting your purpose in God and for some, can lead to even worse. The sadness we experience will block what we are supposed to do in God. We must never let misery block our ministry. While Jesus hung on the cross, saddened by the actions of those He came to save, even then, He had enough self-will to pray for others, “Father, forgive them.”
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Self-Pity Will Make You Critical
Jonah was another prophet whose despair was recorded in Scripture. He prayed to die after allowing self-pity to make him so angry that he no longer wanted to live (Jon. 4:1–3). Jonah became critical of God because after he finally delivered the message that God wanted him to, to the people of Nineveh, they repented, and God had mercy on them. Jonah said he knew God would have mercy on them and was upset that he had to make the journey all the way to Nineveh.
Are you a critic or cheerleader of others? Self-pity will make you critical, and you can block your progression by looking at others in judgment. We can not see someone else’s pain and then be critical of others.
Pastor Mike Signorelli had a revelation about Jonah. Based on his studies of psychology he believed Jonah had past trauma that caused him to have the reaction he did toward the people of Nineveh. “Humans crave the familiar and desire repeatable patterns; Jonah was upset because he was seeking a familiar pattern of chaos, and he wanted to sabotage it because it was just too good,” Signorelli said at V1 Church.
How Are You Responding to Pain?
“”Pain” can be an acronym for “Pay—Attention—Inside—Now.” Is pain causing you to curl up when you are being called to stand up? The Lord responded to Jonah showing him why he had no right to be angry to the point of wanting to die. Death, destruction and divorce are not normal, and God explained to Jonah about His mercy. God will try to elevate you, but you can block the blessing by wanting what is familiar to you instead. Pain and misery will always thwart your progress and impact whatever ministry God has called you up in.
How Do You Combat Self-Pity?
Gratitude is the best way to combat wallowing in pain and self-pity.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:18, ESV).
Christians are to be thankful even for the hard things because they have caused you to be where you are now. Rehearse giving God thanks for your life, your appearance, your family, your job and all of your blessings!
“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Cor. 15:57).
When thankfulness is released consistently, we can then be spiritually released to the next level.
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Jeannie Ortega Law is a chart-topping singer, evangelist, media personality and author from New York City. She can be reached on social media: @JeannieOrtega or emailed at [email protected].
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