I used to pray for provision, then flinch when it showed up.
Money would come in and instead of gratitude I felt suspicion. Like the blessing came with a bill attached. Like wanting more of it made me less spiritual.
It took me years to trace that flinch. It wasn’t conviction. But a fear I had been taught to call humility.
Here’s what broke it. Jesus never told me to avoid money. He told me not to serve it.
Matthew 6:24: “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.”
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Serve. That’s the word. Not touch, not hold, not build with.
So the question was never how little I could live on. The question was who gives the orders. And I had to admit that fear of lack was giving me plenty of orders while I congratulated myself for being humble.
Because a man who is scared of money is still ruled by it. He just obeys from the other direction.
That fear is expensive. It kept me from hiring when I needed help. It kept me pricing my work like an apology. It kept me calling a small assignment faithfulness when it was really self-protection.
Three things I’d hand you if we were sitting across from each other:
- Name the master. Look at your last three financial decisions and ask what was actually in charge, obedience or fear.
- Give on purpose, not on impulse. Generosity is how you tell Mammon it doesn’t run the house. Pick a number, decide before the money arrives, and send it.
- Raise your capacity before you raise your comfort. Abundance you can’t steward will manage you instead.
You were not called to be broke so other people feel comfortable. You were called to carry resources that make your assignment possible.
Steward it.
Kap Chatfield is a Christian content creator, filmmaker, pastor, speaker, and coach. He has directed two feature-length documentaries (Acts, 2019 and The Time Is Now, 2021). He has amassed over 1 million subscribers on YouTube. He is the Online Pastor of Love Church in Omaha, Nebraska. He is married to Joy Chatfield and together they have four children. His new book, The Power to Prosper, is available on Amazon.com.
