Offense quietly corrodes the life of the church. It fractures relationships, distorts discernment and opens the door to deception, all while convincing believers they are justified in holding on to their pain. Scripture warns that offense increases as the return of Christ draws nearer, and that warning functions as a present, living reality. It is not merely predictive. It describes what is happening now, in real time, among believers who allow wounds to harden into unforgiveness.
In a recent episode of The John Bevere Podcast, John Bevere and his son, Arden Bevere, confront this issue directly. Drawing from Scripture, personal experience and Jesus’ teachings, they argue that offense is not a personality issue or an emotional weakness but a serious spiritual matter. Their conversation centers on how unforgiveness blinds believers to their own sin, fuels division within the church and ultimately blocks God’s purposes from unfolding freely in a person’s life.
The Beveres frame offense as one of the enemy’s most effective tools against Christians. When believers justify unforgiveness based on how deeply they were hurt, they lose sight of the cross and minimize what Christ forgave. They repeatedly point to Jesus’ warning that many will be offended and that deception will follow. An offended heart, they explain, becomes fertile ground for false conclusions, broken relationships and spiritual stagnation. With that foundation established, the episode moves toward practical instruction on how believers actually break free.
Five practical steps for dealing with offense
- Call offense what it is: sin.
The first step the Beveres stress is refusing to rebrand offense as caution, discernment or emotional self-protection. Offense is treated in Scripture as a moral issue, not a therapeutic one. When believers excuse unforgiveness by pointing to how badly they were treated, they create room for self-deception. Naming offense as sin removes its power to hide. It brings the issue into the light, where repentance and healing can begin. - Go directly to the person, not around them.
One of the clearest dangers discussed is the habit of talking sideways instead of face to face. Calling friends, venting to coworkers or airing grievances indirectly may feel relieving, but it steadily turns hurt into gossip. The Beveres point to Jesus’ instruction in Matthew 18 as a safeguard: go to the person first. When believers bypass direct conversation, offense deepens and unity erodes. What starts as sharing pain quickly becomes sowing discord. - Seek godly counsel that speaks truth, not sympathy alone.
The episode distinguishes between counsel that validates offense and counsel that uproots it. Godly counsel uses Scripture to expose lies rather than reinforce narratives of victimhood. The Beveres emphasize that wise counsel does not excuse unforgiveness or anchor identity to past wounds. Instead, it redirects the believer to truth, obedience and freedom. Counsel that only affirms feelings without addressing sin leaves offense intact. - Pray a blessing over the one who caused the hurt.
This step is presented as both challenging and transformative. Praying for someone who caused deep pain confronts the heart directly. The Beveres describe how praying for another person’s blessing breaks torment and heals internal wounds. This practice aligns with Jesus’ command to love enemies and do good to those who mistreat us. It shifts the believer from rehearsing injustice to participating in Christlike forgiveness. - Anchor your life in God’s truth, not your pain story.
Using Joseph’s story as a central example, the Beveres argue that people do not control a believer’s destiny. Offense does. Joseph’s brothers intended harm, yet God used their actions to fulfill His promise. The danger lies in believing that betrayal, rejection or injustice determines the future. When believers anchor themselves in God’s faithfulness rather than their wounds, offense loses its leverage. Truth, not memory of injury, governs their direction.
The conversation returns repeatedly to the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18, where Jesus warns that refusing to forgive results in being handed over to torment. The Beveres connect this torment to the internal unrest many believers experience today, including anger, obsession, division and constant conflict. Unforgiveness does not punish the offender. It imprisons the one who holds it.
Offense thrives when left unchallenged, especially within the church. It disguises itself as righteousness while eroding love, unity and witness. The warning remains active and urgent: forgiveness is not optional for believers who follow Christ. Jesus’ words from the cross, “Father, forgive them,” continue to define the standard. Freedom follows those who release offense, walk in truth and refuse to let bitterness dictate their future.
James Lasher, a seasoned writer and editor at Charisma Media, combines faith and storytelling with a background in journalism from Otterbein University and ministry experience in Guatemala and the LA Dream Center. A Marine Corps and Air Force veteran, he is the author of The Revelation of Jesus: A Common Man’s Commentary and a contributor to Charisma magazine.
