Many believers feel a subtle unease around certain people in their lives. They cannot always explain it, but something feels off, draining, distracting or spiritually compromising.
Bible teacher David Diga Hernandez addressed this tension in a recent message, saying that sometimes “you’ve been looking for confirmation from the Holy Spirit,” and that discomfort may be precisely that.
According to Hernandez, Scripture calls believers to steward their time, hearts and relationships wisely. He warns that some connections are not harmless. They are spiritually corrosive. “Life is sacred,” he said. “God’s given to you as a gift. When He created you, He created you for a purpose.”
That purpose gets suffocated when believers cling to relationships God is calling them to let go of. Hernandez outlines five categories of connections that drag people backward rather than propel them toward Christ.
Below are the five kinds of relationships he says you need to end, and why.
1. Distractors
These are people who pull you away from purpose and keep you centered on the temporary instead of the eternal. Hernandez describes them as friends who “get you to think only in terms of the here and now,” absorbed with entertainment, social circles and surface-level living.
The problem is not enjoying life or resting. It is wasting years “before you know it,” he said, realizing you have not applied yourself to what God deposited in you. Growth exposes their stagnation, so instead of celebrating your progress, they try to dull it. “People who lack purpose don’t like change,” Hernandez explained. “Because that change reminds them that they’re running out of time.”
2. Gossipers
These people betray confidence, create strife and cannot be trusted with your heart. Hernandez warns that gossip is not just slander. It is the inability to keep a secret. “A gossip is someone in which you cannot confide,” he said.
If someone repeatedly tears down others in front of you, expect they to do the same to you when you are not present. Hernandez cautions that subtle gossip is often disguised as “venting,” but the Holy Spirit reveals when something is manipulative or reputation-destroying.
3. The Negative
These individuals drain faith, cloud hope and constantly frame life through pessimism and complaint. Hernandez describes them as people who are “perpetually offended” and for whom “nothing is ever good enough.”
Believers should give grace, communicate concerns and confront patterns. However, when the mindset never changes, it becomes spiritually toxic. “If every time they come around you go from expecting good things to anticipating bad things,” he said, “something’s wrong there.”
Paul’s instruction to “fix your thoughts on what is true… honorable… lovely… admirable” becomes nearly impossible in relationships that constantly pull you toward cynicism.
Order David Diga Hernandez’s Book, “25 Truths About Demons and Spiritual Warfare” on Amazon.com!
4. Takers
These relationships demand constant pouring out, while offering nothing in return. Hernandez says compassionate and empathetic believers are especially vulnerable to these connections.
There may never be a perfectly equal exchange in relationships. Still, you should notice when someone constantly drains you emotionally, financially or spiritually, while making you feel guilty for not giving more. Hernandez describes it as “pouring water into a cup that has no bottom.”
Some takers even weaponize their wounds to manipulate your guilt. According to Hernandez, this is because “they’ve taken advantage of your compassion” and use you to fill a void only God can heal.
5. The Sinful
This category often includes sexual compromise, addiction and friendships that normalize rebellion against God. Hernandez speaks directly. “If you claim to be a Christian and you are intentionally living this lifestyle of sin, then there’s something very wrong there.”
Romantic relationships outside marriage that include sexual behavior must end or repent and realign. “Period,” he emphasized. But the warning extends beyond romance. People can draw you into drunkenness, substance abuse or spiritual dullness. If someone influences you to sin or excuses it, Hernandez says plainly, “It’s time to cut it off.”
Relationships Shape Destiny. So Choose Biblically
Hernandez’s teaching is not about isolation or superiority. It is about stewardship. God uses people to sharpen us, strengthen us, and sanctify us. Yet the enemy uses people to drain us, distort us and derail us.
Scripture calls believers to guard their hearts, walk in wisdom and pursue holiness. Sometimes, obedience requires courageous separation.
We cannot cling to relationships God is pruning and still expect spiritual flourishing. As Hernandez reminded, “The hour calls for bold Christians.”
James Lasher, a seasoned writer and editor at Charisma Media, combines faith and storytelling with a background in journalism from Otterbein University and ministry experience in Guatemala and the LA Dream Center. A Marine Corps and Air Force veteran, he is the author of The Revelation of Jesus: A Common Man’s Commentary and a contributor to Charisma magazine.
