Comparison is the silent thief of joy, the unseen enemy of progress and one of the greatest destroyers of potential. It doesn’t announce itself at your door with a warning—it creeps in quietly, slipping in through the back window of your mind, whispering, “You’re not good enough.” And before you even realize it, you’re no longer living your own life—you’re living a constant evaluation of how your life measures up to someone else’s.
Think about it. You doomscroll through social media and see someone traveling the world, driving a nicer car, or launching a successful business. Immediately, your brain shifts into judgment mode: “Why am I not there yet? Why is my life so ordinary?” And just like that, the energy that should be fueling your own journey is now wasted on self-doubt.
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Here’s the truth: Comparison is a game designed to keep you losing. It is the casino of life you need to avoid—you will never hit the jackpot there. There will always be someone who seems ahead of you in some way—richer, stronger, more successful, more attractive, more popular. But the problem is, you’re comparing their highlight reel to your behind-the-scenes struggles.
To order Malachi O’Brien’s new book, Time to Rise, visit Amazon.com.
So how do you stop this cycle? How do you reclaim your energy and confidence? Here
are four powerful steps you can take:
1. Focus on your own lane.
The only competition you have is yesterday’s version of you. Measure progress, not perfection. If you’re growing, learning and taking steps toward your purpose, you’re already winning.
2. Control your inputs.
If social media is fueling comparison, limit it. Stop feeding your mind with images that make you feel like you’re not enough. Be intentional about what you consume—choose inspiration over frustration. As my friend Mike Signorelli says, stop doomscrolling. Become a creator, not a consumer.
3. Celebrate others.
Instead of feeling threatened by someone else’s success, let it inspire you. Their victory doesn’t mean your defeat. When you shift your mindset from competition to collaboration, you open yourself up to limitless possibilities. One of the best actions you can take when you see someone succeed? Send them a message of genuine congratulations. I promise you—every time I have done this, I’ve never once regretted it.
4. Anchor your identity in truth.
If you’re not constantly reminding yourself of who God says you are, the world will be happy to tell you your identity instead. And their version won’t serve you. Replace the lies of comparison with the truth of God’s promises:
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14).
- You are chosen (1 Pet. 2:9).
- You are more than a conqueror (Rom. 8:37).
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It is time to go to the enemy’s camp and take back what he stole from you. Stop looking sideways. Start looking forward. Your purpose is too big, and your calling is too important, to waste time measuring yourself against someone else’s race.
Own who you are. Step into what God has for you. And never apologize for being you.
To read more from Malachi O’Brien’s new book, Time to Rise, click here.
Malachi O’Brien, DMin is the unofficial Guinness World Record holder for consecutive daily marathons. He is the former VP of the Southern Baptist Convention, former president of OneCry, and founder of NFT Kansas City. In addition to this, he is addicted to Jesus, fasting and prayer. His new book, Time to Rise, is available now at amazon.com.
