Everyone has faced a betrayal: a broken relationship, a stolen idea, a broken heart. Betrayal can create a lasting sting in your emotions that makes you feel as though you will never recover. Thankfully, God is the master healer. He knows exactly how to bind up your wounds and pour in the healing oil. The psalmist said, “The righteous cry, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Ps. 34:17-18, NASB).
One of the most amazing ministries of the Father is the ministry of emotional healing. He skillfully mends and restores fractured souls, no matter how bad the wound seems. The critical part is your coming before Him and exposing the wound and the hurt so the antiseptic of His Spirit can be poured on it. Healing requires humility, honesty and vulnerability.
The fact is, relationships are messy. There are bumps and bruises. There are disappointments and misunderstandings. Properly navigating meaningful relationships requires maturity and wisdom. It doesn’t happen without a lot of effort.
Behind the scenes in relationships there are levels of warfare. There are attacks in family relationships because the enemy fights the destiny of the family and the family members’ mandate with God. On a ministry team, there is warfare in the area of the assignment and stamina of the team. The enemy will hurl lies and accusations at team members to get them to move out of position. He will pull on old wounds and try to cause new pain. Demons show up to take people out of their assigned places because the anointing is connected to assignment.
We often fail to see into the realm of the spirit when significant betrayals take place in our lives, whether in our families, our businesses, our ministries or other key relationships. Demons fight to sever divine connections and move people out of their positions in our destinies. These same demons try to move us away from people and places that have purpose in our lives.
Maintain the Relationship
One of the painful realities of many betrayals is that they are team efforts. They are demonic conspiracies, operating with the cooperation of multiple people. Betrayal is never simple, nor is it what it seems at face value. There is always more to the story.
David wrote the words of Psalm 31 against a backdrop of pain, persecution and isolation. Locked in Psalm 31:14-21 is a healing prayer that is perfect for anyone facing betrayal.
Many people withdraw when they’ve experienced betrayal. They don’t want to be in a position of being hurt again, so they avoid forming deep relationships that allow people to speak into their lives. But when done biblically, correction refines you. It will expose the things in you that need to be dealt with.
A river needs banks. The banks are there to direct the flow. This is a prophetic picture of healthy boundaries. God established boundaries and principles in our lives to provide direction. Leaders help establish godly boundaries.
The oil of a godly leader can confirm and empower you. God sends key leaders to pour precious oil upon your life. This oil flows in multiple ways. It is not always the oil of blessing; sometimes it is the oil of refining. We must embrace both.
When David was anointed king, it was in front of his brothers. They had rejected him, but God had selected him (1 Sam. 16:11-13). God has a way of picking the underdogs. His oil will confirm and launch you. It was God who chose David and used the oil of Samuel the prophet to confirm him. The anointing transformed the life of David. God’s anointing can turn you into another person.
God connects those He calls to the right leaders who release oil on their lives. I call them “oily” relationships. They’re relationships that unlock a flow. It is part of God’s process in the life of His people. He brings people into our lives with an oil to confirm and send us. God never sends His children out to do His work without empowering them.
Part of God’s system of maturity and strength in our lives is the presence of the right people. We must be humble and teachable to maintain the proper relationships. Solid leaders and mentors will challenge us. They will instruct us. They will reprove us. They will sharpen us. We are made better by the leadership of solid people.
In all our relationships, we must resist the urge to become offended, falling into past cycles of wounds and hurts. These become demonic entry points that create a breach. These breaches are intended to abort the mission of the relationships and move us out of our divine position. Many people who are called never rise into the fullness of their spiritual potential because they leave relationships prematurely.
It takes spiritual and emotional stamina to maintain proper relationships. It takes a healed soul and a mature mindset to leave childish things behind and properly steward kingdom relationships.
We also have to be aware of the spirit of accusation that comes to attack kingdom relationships. One of the most valuable things we can do when trouble arises in our hearts toward a friend or fellow believer is pray. If we cannot get rid of the offense in prayer, then we must go directly to the person. Sometimes in the name of love, we conceal something. It then has room to grow and fester like a toxic wound.
I have seen this happen in my life and the lives of people I love. Often it was nothing more than a perception or spiritual attack. Even in cases when a person handled something wrong, the individual apologized once there was a healthy conversation.
Expose the Lies
The enemy always works best under the cover of darkness. He doesn’t want his lies to be exposed. The Bible tells us offenses are to be brought directly to the person involved (Matt. 18:15).
There really is no gray area here. If we are upset with another person and cannot get it resolved in prayer, then we must have honest communication in love. The end result can actually be a stronger relationship. Unsaid things and unresolved wounds become the platform for a betrayal.
True reconciliation begins when an offense is exposed privately and brought to the light. This is the first step toward healing—not keeping it as a whisper in the dark or gossiping about the offense to everyone but the person who offended us. Hidden in darkness, lies grow into swelling walls of division and strife.
The spirit of accusation will manifest through character assassination. The devil loves to beat up and malign God’s people. He wants to use our lips to give voice to his whispers. These lies are not rooted in any form of truth. The enemy operates in secret and under cover in the darkness.
These lies plant false seeds with a twofold mission:
To blanket individuals with word curses that hinder them and create heaviness.
To create false wounds, perceptions and concepts to separate people from ordained relationships, ordained places and ordained assignments. The purpose of these lies is to break up divine alignments.
The way to gain victory over the enemy’s ploys is to engage in brave communication. Sometimes we have to pray for the spirit of wisdom to handle the matter with the right attitude. Making sure our relationships are in order and no offenses are festering is important. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”
And in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering” (Matt. 5:23-24).
And while dealing with offenses promptly and appropriately is important in all relationships, relationships that hold massive potential are that much more worthy of investment. They are worthy of time, labor and prayer. When we fail to bring our concerns to someone, we leave a door open for the enemy to plant false accusations in our minds, which can lead to betrayal and the destruction of both our relationships and the Lord’s purposes for those relationships. Simple communication can often be the only tool needed to thwart the enemy’s plans.
Recognizing the importance of kingdom relationships and the necessity of stewarding them well is critical. The kingdom expands best through solid relationships and families. Real ministry begins with the kingdom family. Families disagree and have challenges, but they do not break apart. They work through those things. This is a vital truth that many fail to apply.
Maturity, along with strong ethics and proper understanding of boundaries, empowers success in these areas. Timothy served alongside Paul, his spiritual father. He saw Paul in both good and bad times. He saw him in times of struggle as well as times of victory. He faced intense spiritual battles with him. This happens when we connect to certain leaders and gifts. We will face challenges and battles, but the power of God will see us through if we remain committed.
Timothy did not change his mind. He did not leave Paul to follow the next rising trend or apostolic voice. He remained exactly where God placed him; he remained connected to the person God placed him with. He realized the value of the relationship. He had a healthy perspective that allowed him to go the distance (Eph. 4:7-13).
God uses kingdom relationships to bring emotional and spiritual pruning. Pruning stimulates root growth, producing bigger, more and better-quality fruit. Relationships pinpoint areas that need growth. They reveal character flaws and issues. This is a part of God’s great mystery. God invested Himself in each one of us. He linked the five-fold ministry together and placed different perspectives, gifts and anointings in each link. Separated, each is only a part, but together they make the whole. He wove us all together as a masterful tapestry.
The Father prunes us, removing parts that are impeding our fruit-bearing potential. Pruning stings and feels painful, but it is an answer to our prayers. It is God revealing Himself to us as He challenges our hearts to embrace His process. This not only qualifies us to steward His mandate for our lives but also strengthens us to see the value of diversity in our relationships.
We are dependent upon each other for God’s global plan. We may create friction with our different perspectives and gifts, but the friction makes us individually stronger and corporately sharper (Prov. 27:17). Together we can achieve great and mighty things!
It is important that we place value on one another. Someone who helps but doesn’t have a prophetic flow is just as important as the one who moves continually in dreams and visions. When they come together, there is power and service. This is the heart of the Father—to activate and send each believer into his or her destiny.
Creating a value system for relationships, diversity and order will slam the door shut on demons of betrayal. It will also cause you to see the fullness of the beauty of the body of Christ; each part contains an attribute of Jesus. When they are brought together, many streams make one rushing river of love and power.
Ryan LeStrange is the founder and apostolic leader of TRIBE Apostolic Network and the senior leader of the iHub movement. He is also the owner of LeStrange Global LLC, as well as the author of numerous books.
This article was excerpted from the August issue of Charisma magazine. If you don’t subscribe to Charisma, click here to get every issue delivered to your mailbox. During this time of change, your subscription is a vote of confidence for the kind of Spirit-filled content we offer. In the same way you would support a ministry with a donation, subscribing is your way to support Charisma. Also, we encourage you to give gift subscriptions at shop.charismamag.com and share our articles on social media.
