When a Thirsty Soul Found Love

Establishing an intimate Relationship

Jesus desires intimacy with us. He desires to be wed to us through worship and become a spiritual Husband.

In John 4:21, Jesus addresses the woman directly. In many translations, the Greek term used in this passage is rendered merely, “woman.” However, in the original language the term Jesus uses, gunee, means “wife.”

Look again at the number of husbands to which the Samaritan woman had previously been wed. She had five legal marriages plus one common-law relationship. For all practical purposes, she had been married six times to six different husbands.

Jesus becomes her seventh husband. Seven in the Bible signifies wholeness. Despite the failure of her youthful marriages, she finds completion in Christ. So it is with us.

Whether we have had as many literal marriages as the Samaritan woman or not, we can all relate to past experiences whereby we have wed ourselves to various individuals and things apart from God. Such relationships served as idols of security and significance to help us cope with certain seasons of our lives.

These relationships may or may not have been sexual. The important thing is that we placed our trust in people, things and even ideas rather than God.

In some of those relationships, we may not have had a conscious choice. It may be that while still children we were sold out to ideologies and circumstances that opposed the truth of God in our lives.

Whatever the case, these experiences represent binding relationships which, if not properly broken, inhibit our maturity (or marriage) in Christ. God has great plans for us in the intimacy of true worship (see John 4:21-24).

However, our intimacy with God corresponds to our intimacy with one another. We may only hope to love God to the extent we love one another. Likewise, we are able to love one another only to the extent that we have experienced the transforming love of God.

Outstanding issues from broken relationships in our lives will inhibit us from drawing closer to God. So it was with the woman at the well.

How could she hope to draw near to Christ in the intimacy of worship (which means “to kiss”), if all her past experiences of intimacy had left behind scars of unmet needs, unhealed hurts and fear of repetition? Similarly, how can we hope to love God if our hearts are still bleeding from the past wounds of those who claimed to, or should have, loved us?

These issues must be resolved; we must be released from them before we can fully enter into new phases of life. I believe there are four main ways we may be bound to past relationships:

1. Unforgiveness. Once again, the majority of our bondages to the past result from unforgiveness. Jesus said if we refuse to forgive our offenders, God will not forgive us (see Matt. 6:15).

2. Unhealed hurts or needs. Sometimes it is difficult to forgive when our lives have been deprived or seriously affected because of an offense. We may have to seek God’s healing for emotional and spiritual wounds and surrender to Him unfulfilled expectations connected to persons or events. Healing and forgiveness often go hand in hand.

3. Wrong habits or thinking patterns. Some of us need reprogramming because our lives are dominated by deeply rooted patterns of thinking and behaving that perpetuate cycles of defeat. Being released from the past may involve disciplining ourselves to form new hobbies or perspectives more conducive to supporting our identity in Christ.

4. Natural debt or unbroken contracts. Believers should exercise discipline and restraint in the avoidance of indebtedness and prayerfully scrutinize those with whom they enter into binding agreements.

We are repeatedly warned to avoid intimate affiliation with those who do not belong to Christ (see 2 Cor. 6:14). If you are weighed down by the responsibilities of excessive financial debt or legal entanglements with ungodly people or practices, union with Christ and availability for His service may require your willingness to address those issues and look for honorable ways to resolve them.

Released for Ministry

At the close of their discussion, Christ revealed Himself fully to the Samaritan woman (see John 4:25-26). In fact, she represents one of only a handful of individuals to whom He entrusted His identity before the cross.

In a moment of intense intimacy, He tells her, “I who speak to you am He” (v. 26). In other words, I am everything for which you’ve been hoping.

When the disciples returned, the woman left her water jar and ran back to town. Without realizing it, she was empowered by Christ to evangelize her village. As a result of her witness, many of the Samaritans from that town believed (see v. 39).

The story of the woman at the well offers great hope to women who long for restoration and greater release in ministry. She embodies the brokenness and despair of many in the church and among the lost who are hopelessly plodding through life feeling alone.

Jesus transformed this woman by lovingly engaging her, leading her through deliverance from her past and helping her establish a marital walk with God. Truly, who is like our Lord? What greater love can we ever know than His?

Today, be encouraged because our God still journeys to Samaria and wherever else His beloved calls to Him (see Ps. 61:2). There is no one beyond His reach and ability to fully redeem.

To receive that restoration, however, we must be prepared to accept His invitation and confront the issues of our past. Like the woman at the well, we must be willing to embrace the pain and forgive. Then and only then, can we truly enter into the intimacy Jesus desires to have with us and experience His power for ministry.

Julie R. Wilson is a teacher and author based in Lubbock, Texas. She has written several Bible studies including Women at the Well: Restoring the Spiritual Heritage of Christian Women, from which this article was adapted.