Godly women want a godly man. Well, at least, those who are not called to be celibate. I know I wanted a man who was godly, and after dating a few frogs, I knew the qualities my man had to possess. But I also remembered that I wasn’t perfect and neither could I expect my future mate to be. I had to be willing to love him through his mistakes and sins as he would love me through mine.
My husband turned out to be an amazing godly man and our love story still leaves my mouth gaping. It was only though God’s providence and His handiwork that we met and became one.
So, if you are on the hunt, looking for your wife, allow the Lord to work and allow His handiwork to be displayed—He loves getting the glory. And don’t forget to check out these qualities that may help you become the man your future wife (or even your wife) needs.
1. A servant leader. Women want to be led. We may act as though we can handle it on our own and as if we have it all under control, but that is just what that is: an act. God said that we would want control over you men (Gen. 3:16). Please, men, step up and lead! A leader should be trustworthy, sacrificial, loving, kind and gentle (Eph. 5:25-33; 1 Pet. 3:7). Of course, you won’t be perfect, and neither will she, but with the strength and empowerment of the Holy Spirit, you both can work toward that end.
2. Humility. We women love to see a humble heart. Of course, all of us have pride issues—pride is the root of every sin—but we want to see a man marked with humility. Pride should be something he is daily giving up to the Lord. We can trust a man who has a humble heart (1 Sam. 2:3; Prov. 11:2; Prov. 29:23). We don’t feel secure with a man whose pride is flagrant and who acts as though he has it wired. Who would feel secure?
I know, as a woman, I need to know that my husband has flaws—it makes me feel less alone. It also helps me to know how to pray for my man when there is humility and openness. It also makes me significantly more attracted to my husband when I see humility.
3. A planner. Are you the type of guy to fly by the seat of your pants? Well, chances are your prospective gal isn’t too appreciative of that. That “fly by the seat of your pants” mentality probably trickles into your relationship, making her feel a bit less treasured. May I suggest that you start planning? Women love to see initiative taken (in every area of life). We feel prized when we know there is a plan. Why? Well, because we know we have been thought about and we weren’t an afterthought. Wherever your relationship is, it is never too early to start planning!
4. A gentleman. Every lady loves a gentleman, and every lady who tells you she doesn’t is lying. Well, either that or she is what my husband and I call a “feminazi.” If so, run away, and run away fast. I am from the South, so I am accustomed to doors being opened and men stepping out of the way for women. The South has some positives that you men should take note of! Open our doors, keep a tight rein on your tongue (aka stop the potty mouth!), and treat us like a princess—because every woman is one deep down.
5. Hygiene. I know, this is random, since I have been only noting character traits. However, this needs to be addressed. I don’t know how many guys I run into on a daily basis that look like they just rolled out of bed. Now, I’m not talking about having to go out and buy a $1,000 wardrobe. I’m talking about taking a shower, getting a haircut, shaving and being presentable. When you take a lady out on a date, don’t wear a T-shirt. I mean, come on. Where are the days of dressing up and looking nice? You don’t have to look like you stepped of a GQ magazine, but you at least must look like you cared enough to iron a button-down/polo and gel your hair. Trust me: If you don’t try, well, we probably won’t try to get back in touch with you.
There obviously are tons of qualities remaining that I haven’t broached. However, you can find all of them in God’s Word. Crack it open and ask Him (the Holy Spirit) to guide, convict and change you. I promise you, you won’t lack in anything if you ask Him to equip you (James 1:5-6).
No one is perfect, and no one will be until the day we see Jesus face to face. However, in order to woo a woman, you have to ask God to change you and make you a man (and future husband) worthy of that high calling.
For the original article, visit fearlessmen.com.
Joseph Mattera 
BJ Foster 
Shelby Bowen 
