Confessions From a Pastor’s Wife

PWs, I know that your public role is a difficult one. But I encourage you to be a positive role model in developing healthy woman-to-woman relationships in the body of Christ. As you are faithful to the call of God on your life, you will release the women in your congregation to be faithful to God in their own lives.

You are empowered to release blessings into the body of Christ. As a PW, there are two important things you can do:

Set the tone of warmth in the congregation. In the same way we set the emotional climates in our homes, we can help determine how well received into the congregation women feel. Regardless of the size of our congregations and regardless of our personal feelings, our involvement in the life of the congregation does set the flow and “pecking order” for women to serve and lead.

You’ve heard the old adage, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Doesn’t that speak eloquently of the power of a woman’s influence?

One of the things that keeps “Mama” from being happy is the failure of her relationships with other women. If you help set a positive tone, you and all the other women will benefit.

Praise the works of your pastor-husband. If you expose his weaknesses or are critical of him, you sow doubts into others. If you don’t praise and support him, who will?

PWs aren’t the only ones who have it tough. For those of you who have been the victim of wrong attitudes or behaviors from a PW such as those I’ve described, I want to repent and ask you to forgive me for:

* Holding your motives suspect, whether you are married or single, and feeling that you are in some way a threat to me or my marriage;

* Being a hindrance to you by refusing to operate in my calling;

* Being jealous of your spiritual gifts, appearance, home or possessions; and

* Responding to you out of my insecurities rather than out of who I am in Christ.

Dear friend in Christ, I also realize that behind the closed doors of each woman in the congregation there is a whole arena of issues. As a PW, I lack full understanding on these matters.

But as a woman and a believer I stand on level ground with you at the foot of the cross, and I purpose to love God, walk humbly before Him, love and serve others and bring glory to Him in all that I do. To this end, I have opened my heart to you. Now I open my arms as well and seek to sit down with you so we can put any and all ungodly matters between us to rest. Isn’t it about time?

Judy Benz serves on the pastoral staff of Covenant Centre International in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, a church she and her husband, Norman, planted .