Power is often an unseen force that makes things happen. The fact that it is unseen does not in any way mitigate that there is real force involved. Let’s talk about a few unseen powers that you engage in regularly within your daily life. You can hear the wind at times, and you can feel it on some days as well. There are few things that feel better on a beach or in the mountains than a cool breeze.
Yet the wind is absolutely unseen. You can, however, see its impact and even harness its great power. Modern man has made greater applications of the pinwheel. This unseen power of the wind moves large windmills creating enough power to power a house or even neighborhoods if you put it together intelligently.
Pleasure is one of these very significant but unseen powers. You can’t see it, but you can realize its impact. What pushes a person to run, swim, eat sweets, shop or meditate? It’s pleasure that motivates these behaviors. You can’t see it, but its power can be the largest influence in your life and in the lives of those you love.
The pleasure power is at work daily, and consistently but unseen in your life. It drives you at times but can’t be seen. It helps you make both minor and major choices on how you spend your time, energy and money. At times, the power of pleasure is also directing the choices of relationships that you have or don’t have.
You see, your life is like a pinwheel. There is an unseen wind blowing you. You can see the power of pleasure as the unseen driver of your car. You can also harness the power of pleasure so that you can lead a life of ongoing pleasure. You were created for pleasure, just as the pinwheel was created for the wind.
Once you understand and harness your pleasure zones to work for you, your life can be so different. Imagine a life that is balanced and going from pleasure to pleasure. Often because we don’t understand, we can have consequences for not managing the power of pleasure.
Here is the question I get asked the most: Why? Why should I understand about my pleasure zones, Dr. Doug? Well, I want to address this early on in this book. You are about to take a journey during while we discuss your very important pleasure zones. Why should you do this? Let’s just talk about a few of the reasons.
Relationships
We all know people. We are in relationships with numerous people during our lives. These relationships include everyone from our spouse, parents, neighbors, friends, coworkers, acquaintances and others we see on a semi-regular basis.
Now, most of us don’t think about how we have the power to make these individual’s lives better or worse. Actually if we are honest, rarely do we think about these other people as far as our impact on them. Yet we do impact them.
Take this application to your home if as a parent you are less aware or focused on your children’s world. Also as a spouse, if you’re outside of your pleasure zones, you are less fun to be with or talk to for your spouse.
Work
When we are not in our pleasure zone, work is definitely impacted. Because we are not in the pleasure zone, meeting deadlines can seem depressing instead of challenging and rewarding.
That good boss you have somehow turns out to be less likeable when you are out of your pleasure zone. Your ability to creatively communicate and solve problems can get jammed. Your productivity decreases, which doesn’t help the way you feel about yourself either. Although there are many great reasons to enjoy your unique pleasure zones, being productive and enjoying your work are good enough.
Self
One of the best reasons to stay in your unique pleasure zone is for you. You have to value and celebrate yourself regularly. You exist in a limited time and space for pleasure. When you abandon yourself and live outside your primary pleasure zones, you are impacted. The way you feel physically is less vibrant and healthy, and you lose some of your perkiness.
Emotionally, you are prone to get more pessimistic. I think to some degree, we innately see the world more positively or pessimistically. My wife would rate me a 12 on the scale of 1-10 on optimism. I love life! Problems are challenges that lead to rewards; failure is temporary if real at all and so on and so forth. Yet if I abandon my pleasure zones, I drop significantly in my optimism.
I begin to ask questions: Why bother? Why push so hard? Why not sell everything and live in the mountains?—you know, the crazy pessimistic thoughts begin coming in because I’m living outside my pleasure zone.
My mental sharpness, wit and humor also are impacted outside of the pleasure zone. I generally don’t feel good about life, relationships, work, family, projects or myself.
Your pleasure zones are unique to you. I think by now you are at least seeing the power of your pleasure zones. You are created for pleasure, and as you accept this, it can change your life.
Acceptance means I accept that I have unique pleasure zones. Acceptance also means I accept all the other people who have different pleasure zones. Theirs or mine are not any better than the other; just different. Acceptance means I alone am responsible to have a plan and follow that plan to stay in my pleasure zones. {eoa}
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, The Power of Pleasure You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].
