How You Can Change a Life

Here’s another thing I realized this week: For the past four years, I’ve been working in fast forward—trying to do all the brave things while I have him here with me. This has included things like traveling to Europe, writing books, reaching out in new ways to people who need me, Christmas tree shopping, learning to love running, going away for a night by myself and—yep—becoming a fixer-upper. These things have been possible because Steve is in the background telling me I’m smart enough and strong enough and scrappy enough to do hard things. To keep moving. To live large. It’s amazing to me that a man in a wheelchair can be the driving force for a girl who has all her muscles. But it’s true—for me and for countless others Steve has encouraged and believed in during his pilgrimage here on earth.

Of all the things in all this world that I treasure and wish I could keep forever, the way Steve has helped me escape the prison of fear is the most. The biggest. The best gift I’ve ever been given.

When I imagine life without it, I have to remind myself to breathe. And all of that gaping breathlessness has to be immediately turned toward gratitude or I will drown in sorrow. So I force my thoughts and words to thank our dear Father that I have Steve now and to thank Him that He will fill the gaps in the future.  

Already, I have a handful of friends and family who uniquely possess the Gift of Steve. They are encouraging and inspiring and, while they will never take his place, I see God putting them in place as pillars in my life that I can lean on.

If you are blessed to have someone in your life who you know would believe in you no matter what, take a minute today and thank God for that great gift. And maybe take a minute and thank them, too. Sometimes we assume people know how heroic they are, but then we discover that they’re as filled with self-doubt as we are. I think we’re created to need each other to be our best selves in the best possible way. I hope I help someone else fly someday. One thing is certain: I’ve learned from the best.

Bo Stern is a sought-after speaker and writer, and a teaching pastor at Westside Church in Bend, Oregon. She is passionately involved in raising awareness and funding for ALS (Lou Gehrig’s) research, with which her husband was diagnosed in 2011. For more info and to follow her story, visit bostern.com.