‘Am I Gay?’ 10 Tips Preparing Parents for a Dreaded Day

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Larry Tomczak

A young girl called me: “I wonder if I’m gay?”

Parents notice hints with their son or daughter, making them wonder, “Where did we go wrong?”

Congress proposes banning TikTok for surveillance and inappropriate content glorifying certain lifestyles for kids.

Dark forces are maneuvering unsuspecting children and youth to question their sexual identity. Gallup just released findings that say, “Nearly 30% of Gen Z women (11–26), identify as LGBTQ.”

At the same time, a new documentary “Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV” exposes abuse, child porn and pedophilia behind Nickelodeon’s popular TV shows. And what about Disney?

What should parents do to avoid being caught unprepared?

Time to Awaken

The prevalent cultural narrative says, “Homosexuality is not a sin, and people are simply born this way.” Biden celebrates it (along with abortion) with lots of gay and lesbian appointees, even lighting up the White House with rainbow promotions.

Schoolmates, politicians, advice columnists, celebrities, talk show hosts, sports figures, famous singers, educators, counselors and even ministers affirm individuals of all ages who are “courageous and honest to come out” as gay, lesbian or transgender. Jill Biden is now campaigning with LGBTQ advocate and pop star Christina Aguilera.

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The book, “It’s Perfectly Normal” (more than 1 million copies in print) is used in schools across America to educate and convince children from kindergarten up that it’s OK to be gay. “It’s Elementary. Talking About Gay Issues in School” includes, “I was really scared of coming out at an early age … It was soothing to hear teachers and faculty at school, letting me know that it’s OK. Just to know that I had that support and to hear from other people at my school that it was OK, I think it really lifted a burden off my shoulders.”

It’s no longer “look the other way,” as parents are getting involved on school boards and in the political process to guard their children from this bombardment.

10-Point Biblical Plan to Prepare Parents

If your child or young person asks or admits to the possibility of homosexuality, here’s a suggested strategy:

1. “Pray continually” (1 Thess. 5:17, NIV). From the moment of the initial conversation and throughout the entire journey, pray in faith the same way you would engage with God for someone’s salvation or healing. “With God all things are possible” (Matt. 19:26b). Do not despair, live in denial or believe this to be a life sentence.

2. Listen lovingly and intentionally. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19b). Make a quality decision to keep the lines of communication open, knowing it’s common for children to be confused about sexual identity.


3. Clarify exactly what your child means by “coming out as gay.” “The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out” (Prov. 20:5). Is your son or daughter struggling with temptation toward the same sex or acting on the attraction?

4. Encourage disclosure by calm and skillful inquiry. Ask if there has been sexual abuse, youthful curiosity and experimentation, adult manipulation or molestation or gay pornography. Lead the way here with humility, wisdom and age-appropriate transparency regarding any of your youthful confusion (being discreet) and what lessons you learned.

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5. Avail yourself of right resources. Gay-affirming wolves in sheep’s clothing (see Matt. 7:15) are out there, so be ready. Focus on the Family has tremendous tools to help you in this area. A great resource just released is a book entitled, “Not a Mistake” by Pastor Jim Domen.


6. Take your thoughts captive knowing “fear involves torment” (2 Cor. 10:5; 1 John 4:18, NKJV). Be intentional in renouncing all negative thoughts such as “We’ll never get through this,” “God is punishing us,” “What will our church think?” and “Our other children may follow.” Be radical in replacing these destructive impressions with faith-building Scriptures (Eph. 6:17). Go to larrytomczak.com and listen to the free audio “Biblical Declarations to Build Your Faith” to stay strong!

7. Confide in mature friends, ideally a pastor. “Two are better than one” (Eccl. 4:9a). Pray and then approach those you trust in confidence so they can hold up your arms during this season.

8. Consider contacting Lead Them Home Ministry (leadthemhome.org) for supplemental help. This wonderful ministry trains church leaders and families in how to minister to those with same-sex attraction.

9. Extend compassion to your child without compromising or condoning the homosexual lifestyle. God requires purity before marriage and total fidelity in marriage between one man and one woman. All sex outside of covenant marriage is sin, including all homosexual involvement.


Resist manipulation and intimidation, then proceed in faith: “My son/daughter, we love you more than you can imagine, and God allowed us to be your parents. We’ll shoot straight: What you’re condoning is unacceptable to God. It dishonors our Lord Jesus Christ, who died on the cross to save us from our sins. It is contradictory to His eternal plan for marriage, which has been upheld for over 5,000 years of Western civilization. Therefore, this ‘coming out’ needs to be a coming out of deception and, like the prodigal, you must return to God who created you, loves you and has a wonderful destiny for your life. And we’re 100% at your side on this journey to victory in Jesus.”

10. Never forget: Your child is Jesus Christ’s purchased possession whom He loves immensely and most assuredly can rescue from this deception. No matter what the culture conveys about the beauty and finality of homosexuality, it is built upon lies propagated by Satan himself.

Here’s the Deal: Stephen Bennett was entrapped in a lifestyle of depression, drugs and homosexuality where he gave himself to numerous partners. He was born again in 1992. Today he lives a liberated life with his beautiful wife of decades and their children. His full-time ministry, SBM Worldwide, is helping reach those identifying as LGBT. What God has done for him and others, He can do for you!

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Larry Tomczak, author of 10 books, is a cultural commentator of 50 yrs, Intercessors for America board member, best-selling author and a public policy adviser with Liberty Counsel. His new, innovative video/book, “BULLSEYE,” develops informed influencers in 30 days (see www.bullseyechallenge.com). and he has a variety of resources on his website (see www.larrytomczak.com). You can also hear his weekly podcast here.


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