I’ve had my share fair share of good and bad Valentine’s Days over the years. If we’re all being honest, I’m sure we all experienced the ups and downs of the messing up of special days.
For my wife and I, no Valentine’s will ever beat our first one as a couple. Crazy for us to think about, but it goes back nearly 15 years now. With shaking legs and a rapid heartbeat in our old high school locker area, I surprised her with a huge dozen-rose bouquet and a few other sweet treats. Let’s just say everything changed for us after that day in the locker area and we still talk about the experience every year.
Since that first Valentine’s, I’ve spent countless hours trying to come up with another magical moment to compare to the first time excitement. And, of course, along the way and over the years I’ve had some successes, but I’ve also made a lot of mistakes.
This post is a chance for you to learn the mature way to handle an expected special event, so don’t just avoid and make a mistake; instead pay attention and learn from those that have already made them.
Here are 6 ways I’ve blown Valentine’s Days or other special days over the years. And through each one, I offer a little advice on what to do instead. Dig in, take action where needed and share your own story of success or failure in the comments.
You Choose To Do Nothing
Look, I’ll be the first guy to agree with you that it seems dumb or even crazy to set aside a certain day to show extra love to your wife or girlfriend, but it has become the nature of our culture. It has been ingrained into our minds and therefore it becomes a part of our life whether we talk about it or not. It’s become a day to go out of your way and show love. So, in short, make sure you choose to do something! It doesn’t have to be fancy, it doesn’t even have to be expensive; but it should be something from your heart.
If you’re still in search for some ideas on what to do this year, check out this awesome list from menandmarriage.com.
You Use the Old Excuse “I Forgot”
Between work, marriage, my son, friends, family and so on, I’m as busy as the next guy. But that still doesn’t allow you or me to use the excuse “I forgot” once the day arrives and we are ill prepared. Come up with some ideas or a plan, even if it’s a small one. Enter short reminders on your phone now and don’t avoid them when they pop up and alert you. Then show her that you didn’t forget about your special day together and remind her how important she is to you.
You Wait Till the Last Minute to Make Plans
So you know what you want to do, you have great ideas; but you keep putting it off? This is a terrible way to approach a special day and opportunities with your loved one. I have done this exact thing over the years and it never turns out good. You know that perfect dinner place, but you keep putting off the reservation. You know exactly what kind of gift or flowers to give her, but you arrive to get it just as the store closes. If you know what you want to do or plan, then DO IT! Plan as early as possible and avoid the confusion, frustrations and headaches.
You Somehow Miss All of the Hints
My wife and I were riding on the back of a horse-drawn carriage in the city over the Christmas Holiday. As we passed through the city streets and looked at all of the buildings, we started to see some great restaurants we had never seen before. One place in particular really made my wife light up and we spoke to each other about trying it out some time. Since then, I have kept that place in my mind and I have waited for the right opportunity to take her there. This Valentine’s is the perfect time! Don’t miss the hints guys. What hints have you heard lately or over the last month? Think about those particular things and take action on them.
You Do the Same Thing as the Year Before
Unless you did something absolutely amazing, ate an unbelievably good meal, or got the hint that whatever you did should happen yearly; I’d stick with trying something new. Go to a new restaurant, try out a not-so-common flower or speak words of value or love to her that she wouldn’t normally expect.
Show her that you want to keep your love fresh and young by coming up with fresh ideas!
You Allow Recent Event or Issues to Ruin the Day
So you had a fight recently. So you didn’t do that important thing she asked you to do. Maybe your wife messed something up or disrespected you recently. My suggestion and encouragement to you is to give those bad events or issues over to God NOW and seek to make this the best Valentine’s Day ever for your loved one. She won’t even see it coming. Use this day as an opportunity to seek and ask for forgiveness. Take some time to review your marriage vows, wedding photos or recent fun events. Talk about the fun you use to have while you were dating and search out ways to have a great time together.
Don’t let little issues ruin a special day for each other!
Your wife wants to know you’re thinking about her, she wants to know that you care. Don’t blow this Valentine’s Day because of bad excuses or poor planning. Choose to be a mature and smart husband, and make this the best Valentine’s Day ever!
Have you ever blown a special day? Share a personal experience or funny story of your own. Help us not feel like we’re not alone!
Manturity is a blog built on establishing spiritual maturity in today’s man. The goal is to assist men in building better marriages and help them grow in maturity and explore different aspects of manhood. Manturity.com features new weekly blog posts, daily social-media updates and a powerful resources page. Stay up to date with the Manturity blog communities on Facebook and Twitter.
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Joseph Mattera 
BJ Foster 
Shelby Bowen 
