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Why Love Shouldn’t Upset Your Health Journey

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Teresa Shields Parker

What should we do when our loving husband brings us our favorite candy and we have committed to not eating sugar?

As a Christian weight loss coach, I’ve heard from many wives who are afraid of hurting his feelings if she tells him she doesn’t want that any more. She’s afraid of rocking this love boat they have created.

Many times, these are hard-working husbands who come home at the end of the day with a treat for their wives. It’s something the husband has been doing for a long time and something the wife has always enjoyed and thanked him for. It filled her love tank to know that her husband was thinking about her and made a special stop just for her.

Her husband had no idea that candy was literally her downfall and he was helping her gain weight and become even more unhealthy. If this is you, let me just say that your husband is not the one to blame. You are. You taught him what you wanted and he is just following through.


Is This Just an Excuse?

Here is the real question. Are you just making an excuse so you can continue to eat the candy your man brings you, or do you really want to stop indulging in what you is adding extra pounds to your body?

If you really want to begin to eat healthy and you feel like this is a major hold-up on your transformation journey, the key is to talk to your husband. Have a heart-to-heart conversation. Let him know you are beginning a healthy living journey and you need his help. Explain to him what you will be eating and that it would really help you if he would not bring candy home to you.

Let him know that you love the candy but you are committed to not eating sweets. Since that is your favorite, it is too tempting when he brings it home for you. Give him some suggestions that would be better for you.


Do You Really Want to Transform?

Be honest with yourself before you have this conversation. Many people back off from doing this because they don’t want their husbands to know what they are doing in case they can’t or don’t follow through with their plan. If you are really wanting to begin a healthy eating journey, it is imperative that you have those closest to you understand that you are like an alcoholic only with sugar.

If you really do want to cut sugar out of your daily indulgences, you have to settle that within yourself. This may not mean stopping it all at once, but taking a habit-change approach that will last for the rest of your life.

When pondering this, you may think nothing would give you more pleasure than eating something sweet. I totally get where you are because I’ve definitely been there. However, I’m not there now and I’m so grateful.


Sugar is not the ultimate pleasure. It’s not even close. We have elevated it to that status in our lives, haven’t we? And our husbands know it’s what we loved at least at some point in our lives. Now it’s just a reminder of what we shouldn’t do.

Being Healthy Helps Us Do God’s Will

The aging apostle John wrote this to his fellow believers and it still holds true for us. “Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers,” 3 John 2 (NKJV). Being prosperous really means being healthy in all areas—physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

If our bodies aren’t healthy, we can’t do the things God wants us to do. I get it. Sometimes, it feels like it’s us versus the world when we’re trying to give up sugar.


Jesus talks about this in His prayer for us in John 17:15-16 (NLT): ”I’m not asking You to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They do not belong to this world any more than I do.”

He understood that it is a big problem to be in the world and not of the world. So, how can we be in the world, but not succumb to this sugar-laden pleasures that lead us down a treacherous path to an early death through weight gain or obesity-related diseases?

Pleasure Without Sugar

Kathleen DesMaisons gives some great advice to those with sugar addiction in her book, “Potatoes Not Prozac.” Those of us with this problem are metabolically broken. We have unstable blood sugar and low beta endorphins and serotonin levels.


There is a way to combat this, though. There are other healthier activities that release beta endorphins into our bodies and raise our serotonin levels making us feel better. Here’s my list adapted from DesMaisons’ list:

  • Consistent exercise of all types
  • Healthy meditation on the Word of God
  • Balance between moving and being still
  • Listening to Christian music
  • Prayer, silent and vocal
  • Listening to Christian podcasts on subjects you are interested in
  • Eating food so you can taste the real food
  • Cooking healthy foods
  • Dancing
  • Walking in the garden or being outside
  • Listening to inspirational talks (and spiritual messages)
  • Enjoying a hobby that you can get lost in
  • Reading a good book
  • Gardening
  • Arranging flowers
  • Being with people, puppies and kitties that you love
  • Journaling
  • Writing poetry, short stories and books
  • Arts and crafts

To implement this change, choose something from the list to do whenever you are tempted to eat sugar. I’m sure your husband will be fine with not bringing you candy, if you choose number one from this list.

For more on this subject listen to episode 151 of Sweet Grace for Your Journey podcast, “Don’t Rock the Love Boat.”

Teresa Shields Parker is the author of six books and two study guides, including her No. 1 bestseller, “Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds.” Her sixth book,Sweet Surrender: Breaking Strongholds,” is live on Amazon. She blogs at teresashieldsparker.comShe is also a Christian weight loss coach (check out her coaching group at Overcomers Academy) and speaker. Don’t miss her podcast, Sweet Grace for Your Journey, available on CPN. This article first appeared on teresashieldsparker.com.


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