A Tale of 2 Ex-Wives

It was wrong. Yes. This is even more reason to forgive them and move on. Don’t let them define who you are. They are not worth it. By not forgiving them, you are allowing the rest of your life to be defined by them. Every day you are allowing the hurt they caused you to grow bigger and bigger until it overwhelms and suffocates you, keeping you from your God-ordained destiny.

First Step Toward Change

The reality is, forgiving another is hard. That’s why God is there to help us through it. If Jesus can forgive His crucifiers for killing Him,⁶ surely you can forgive one person in order to step into God’s change process for your life.

Forgiveness is the first step toward transformation. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I first heard this from Joyce Meyer, though the same thing substituting anger for unforgiveness, is also attributed to Buddha. Both are true because most of the time it is out of anger that we will not forgive.

Forgiveness Sets You Free

Here’s the bottom line, forgiveness sets you free from the prison of uselessness you put yourself in. You want destiny? Forgive. You want purpose? Forgive. You want peace? Forgive.

Here’s one simple method I’ve used to forgive. Hold out your hands to God. Symbolically put the person you need to forgive in your hands. Say, “Father God I forgive this person and I hand him or her to you. They are no longer my concern. Father God, what do you give me in exchange?”

Whatever you sense, feel or hear Him say He gives you, write it down. It will be something helpful on your journey. Many times He gives me peace. Sometimes He simply tells me I am His beloved daughter. At times, He has pulled back the veil in order to give me a short glimpse into my future as long as I am walking in total submission to Him.

And that complete surrender thing? That, my friend, is what it’s all about. It’s also the hardest part.

Update

I almost forgot. Here’s an update on our friends. Bee is still in prison and still miserable. Her ex-husband had been married for 20 years, has four children and a thriving business.

Guivre has a great career she loves, travels with friends and enjoys having her children and grandchildren visit often. She never married again. Her ex-husband never married again either. He stayed in all of his children and grandchildren’s lives.

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¹Matthew 6:15

²Romans 3:23

³James 2:10-13

⁴Romans 6:23

⁵ Matthew 18:21-35, especially verses 34-35

⁶Luke 23:24