Manning up and admitting my situation to a close friend and brother in Christ was the best move I made to start things out. I was so worried about shame that I never considered the idea that he had struggled in his marriage at one point, too, and could share in my feelings.
Talking to a good friend or even your pastor about your marriage will lift a huge weight off your shoulders, and you should do it sooner than later. He offered me sound advice, books to read and ears to listen.
Not only did my buddy offer me good advice, but he also encouraged me to start talking to God about my marriage. I wasn’t praying for my wife or my marriage at the time. If you can relate, give these two things a try for at least a week. Seeking God’s counsel may not bring immediate relief, but it will allow you to express your feelings more often.
Don’t knock it until you try it, gentlemen.
And yes, I finally talked to my wife. Was it easy? No! Was it the right thing to do? Yes!
Did she take it well? Not really, but my heart was finally on the table and a path to resolution could finally be started. To be honest, men, sometimes your wife has no idea you’re even feeling the way you’re feeling. She might think the issue in the marriage is something completely different than what you think it is—all the more reason to sit down and speak to her in a loving tone about your marriage and the issues that need to be resolved.
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