Joyce Meyer: Building the Best Relationships

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Joyce Meyer

I did it all wrong for years. And I was miserable! I’m talking about my attitude and my stinkin’ thinkin’ that was focused on the thought “What about me?!” And it came out in my behavior: If I didn’t get my way all the time, I tried to control other people through my temper.

One of the first messages God put on my heart to teach was titled “Tell Them I Love Them.” At first, I didn’t want to do it. I thought, People already know You love them, God. I want to teach a really powerful message…something they haven’t heard before. But God showed me that if people really knew He loved them and what that means, then they would live much differently than they do.

See, when we know and experience God’s love, we can share it with others. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone who calls themselves a Christian would really love each other with His love. Think about it. There would be no gossip, no judgment or criticism, no exclusive attitudes that make others feel rejected and people’s needs would be met much more than they are.

Loving Others “to the Highest Degree”

John 13:1 says Jesus “loved them to the last and to the highest degree” (AMP). In the following verses, He demonstrates what it means to love others like this. And it shocked the disciples.

In those days, there were servants who washed people’s feet when they came to visit. It’s likely they were considered the lowliest servants in the household. Now Jesus, the Son of God Himself, got up from supper, took the servant’s towel and proceeded to wash the disciples’ feet. His message to them was to love one another by being a servant, because God wants His love to flow through us and touch other people’s lives

Love is not just a feeling or a theory; it’s a decision we make and an action we take. It’s so important for us to study what the Bible teaches about God’s love so we can learn to love like Jesus. And we have to pray for God to help us learn how to walk in love—to be a servant who “washes feet” by helping others.

Washing Others’ Feet

Matthew 7:12 (NIV) says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you….” This is so critical because if we want to have meaningful relationships with others, then we need to invest in their lives by giving them support, encouraging them, helping to meet their needs—serving them as we’re able to do it.

It’s easy to help people you like or those you want to impress. But when it comes to doing something for someone you don’t know or someone you don’t have a natural interest in, it can be a different story. And sometimes we don’t feel like serving our family. I know from personal experience that people can be willing to help others at church or work, but they aren’t willing to do the same things for their family.

I’ve learned that what I do in front of people publicly won’t really mean anything if I’m not living a life that pleases God at home, too. I thought I would die of frustration before I finally got this, so I know it’s not easy. We have to realize we’re naturally selfish, and we must make a conscious decision to think of others on purpose or we’ll miss many opportunities to serve them.

I want to encourage you to read John 13 and pay close attention to what Jesus did and what He said. Spend some time studying Scriptures about God’s love and pray for Him to show you ways you can serve the people in your life. See how many creative ways God puts in your heart to “wash feet.” You’ll probably find it’s easier and more simple than you thought it would be to help make someone’s life better.

God wants us to have success and enjoy our lives. The secret to having this life is to die to self, get over being the center of your world, and begin to focus on looking for someone who needs your help every day. When you do this, you’ll become more satisfied, content, peaceful and happy than you’ve ever been!

Joyce Meyer is a New York Times bestselling author and founder of Joyce Meyer Ministries, Inc. She has authored more than 140 books, including Battlefield of the Mind and Overcoming Every Problem (FaithWords). She hosts the Enjoying Everyday Life radio and TV programs, which air on hundreds of stations worldwide. For more information, visit

Please note: The views and opinions expressed throughout this publication and/or website are those of the respective authors and do not necessarily reflect those of Joyce Meyer Ministries.

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