How You Betray Yourself

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Some are living in self-betrayal even now and can't see it, because it is so much a part of who they are.

 “If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand” (Mark 3:25).

 “There are three who testify in heaven: the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit, and the three are one. There are three that testify on earth: the Spirit, the water, and the blood, and the three are toward the one” (1 John 5:7-8).

Congruence: agreement or harmony; compatibility

In the book Leadership and Self-Deception written by the Arbinger Institute, they talk about self-betrayal and how that causes us to live in a box toward one another, which means we do not see each other as people, but as objects. As I read this book, it had so many spiritual applications to it, brought such conviction of sin and a level of repentance I had not experienced in a long time. This book opened my eyes to the reality that we betray ourselves by not having boundaries, not speaking the truth in love, by ignoring problems or by acting like your heart is in something when it really is not. These are all examples of self-betrayal and are actually self-deception because we are not being true to who God has created us to be.

The Bible is very clear that a house divided against itself cannot stand, the context of this verse is when the religious leaders were accusing Jesus of casting out demons by the spirit of a demon called Beelzebub. Jesus said, I cannot betray myself as God and use the devil to cast out demons. The Pharisee’s who were living in self-deception did not understand what He was talking about because they were trained their whole lives to live a life of self-betrayal and not see people as people but to see them as objects. Henceforth, this is why they clung to their traditions as noted in Mark 7, but did not know how to be in a relationship with people or God. The culmination of this type of life was manifested in the murder of Jesus on the cross. When you treat people like objects, you will murder them with your words and actions and more often than not be unable to recognize that you did it.

But there is hope because all of us at some point in our lives have done this very thing, whether we see it or not. Some are living in self-betrayal even now and can’t see it, because it is so much a part of who they are. Jesus however, who is the Great I Am, the Great Physician, the Almighty God who called us out of darkness on more than one occasion, is inviting us to begin living in congruence. Living in congruence is living with an understanding of who God has created, called and commanded you to be. What you don’t know about yourself can and will hurt you.


Living in congruence is knowing who you are, what you bring to any given situation and how you can be a servant to those around you. When you are living in congruence, you can be free to love, free to laugh, free to serve, free to give and free to live an abundant life. Jesus promised in John 10:10 that the devil came to steal, kill and destroy, but He came to give you life and life abundantly. The abundant life comes from living in congruence, being true to who God has made you to be, not seeking to be what everyone else expects you to be. Many Christians are caught in a performance trap because they don’t know who they are, and they are so desperate to be affirmed they will do anything to get the applause of men.

More than any time in my short history, God is highlighting the importance of knowing your identity in Christ. If you don’t know who you are, you are living a divided life, and that is why you can’t stand. The Lord is seeking to show you who you are in Him—Christ in you, the hope of glory—so you can stand, so you can live in congruence, so you can love God, love people and love yourself. This is how you live an abundant life and can be generous with your words, time and money on every occasion, because you have learned the timeless truth of living in congruence.

Lisa Great is an author, speaker and blogger with Mouthpiece Ministries International. She has been in ministry for over 25 years, she has a BA in Youth and Family Studies, a MA in Education. She can be reached at mouthpieceministries.net; mouthpieceministries.wordpress.com; or on her Facebook page Lisa Great.


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