If you’re a Christian, you should know that the enemy has launched a full sexual battle in order to trip you up so that you might fall, causing you to feel guilt and shame. The shame you experience is designed to prevent you from reaching the destiny God has designed for you. Here, we see the enemy’s goal: to keep you from God’s design for you and to prevent your happiness both on earth and in eternity.
When I accepted Christ, I hadn’t the faintest idea what wonders God had in store for me. If I had been able to glimpse at his plans for me though, I wouldn’t have been able to believe them. They were that amazing! And I know that because of the amazing future he planned for me, he certainly has an amazing future in store for you as well. He has placed in you, just as he did in me, world-changing DNA. This DNA placed me in positions in the public eye that I never could have reached without His help.
I love Revelation 2:20-29 because it talks about Christians teaching sexual immorality. The last verse tells us that if we overcome sexually inappropriate teaching and stay sexually pure, God will give us authority over the nations.
So, what’s your line of protection against the enemy’s attack? I want to give you some tried-and-true battle strategies designed to help you avoid the sexual mine fields that the enemy is even now already setting up for you.
- Fear God: Respect for God goes a long way when you know who he is and know he is watching. Remember, God rewards his faithful people.
- Pray and worship: God loves you to talk to him and worship him. Remain mindful that prayer and worship will bring you closer to His heart and His values.
- Read and memorize the Word: When you choose to read, know and memorize the Word, it can give you the mind of Christ and help you make choices that will be pleasing to him.
- Commit to purity: Making a commitment to God and to others (parents, friends, youth group leaders) to remain sexually pure can make your success fighting the enemy that much more likely. Make this commitment a priority. Use a symbol, like a purity ring, to mark this commitment and its importance.
- Pornography: Pornography is lethal, creating and encouraging lust that can easily move you to more sexual behaviors. Here is a simple solution: Block it! Block it from your computer and phone. Obtain accountability software in order to keep you honest.
- Holiness: We are all holy because we are created by God to be holy. He didn’t create us wearing jeans and a T-shirt. He created us in our naked form. When you see the opposite sex naked, you are seeing what God intended to be sacred. It is our responsibility to protect a person’s purity, not selfishly satisfy our whims.
- Social networks: Be smart. Let an accountability partner have access to your social media accounts. Make sure your Facebook friends are all real friends, ones you interact with face to face. If you don’t know someone personally, you don’t know their values or motives and this can easily become a trap.
- Have physical boundaries: Think about what you want your boundaries to be when you are dating. Write them out and go over your list periodically. Think about how long you date before you hold hands, before you kiss and so forth.
- Be accountable: Ask a spiritually mature friend you feel comfortable with to help keep you accountable. You will need to be honest with this person about your behaviors now so when you start dating her, your accountability person can help protect you from “accidents.” Your purity isn’t the only thing that you are in charge of; you are also responsible for protecting the purity of the person you are in a relationship with.
- Stay public: The less time you spend alone with a friend of the opposite sex, the better. Spend time in public places during reasonable hours. This will increase your chances of successfully protecting each other sexually.
God made sex for you to enjoy in marriage, and he wants you to have a sex life that is healthy and vibrant all your life long. When you choose to protect your sexuality, you are benefiting several people. First, you protect your sexuality for God’s sake. He really rejoices in those who love Him more than their hormonal urges. Second, you protect your sexuality for yourself. Your purity will help your self-esteem and confidence. Third, you protect your sexuality for the sake of your family and friends, as sexual secrecy facilitates separation from loved ones. Finally, protect your sexuality for the sake of your future spouse. He or she has been making a commitment to purity and will appreciate that you are doing the same.
One final note on protecting your sex is to learn to guard your entertainment. If you are watching TV, reading magazines and listening to music, know that the enemy uses these as traps. Some of his favorite traps are to teach you that your sexuality is yours alone, not God’s, and that sex is separate from God and your relationships. These are lies but if repeated often enough, you could start to believe them. Be careful about your entertainment.
Our future as a church and nation is in your hands. Protecting your sexuality now is helpful so when you lead, you can lead well.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including Clean. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].