Your Past Doesn’t Have to Dictate the Future

Reggie Dabbs had a rough start in life, but learned that although he couldn’t
change his past, he could make a difference in the future—and that’s just what
he is doing now every day. Dabbs speaks to 2.5 million young people a year, and,
with John Driver, he tells his story in Reggie .

Dabbs was born to a 16-year-old unwed mother who already had three
children. In order to feed them, she felt compelled to accept the offer of a
male friend who said he would give her $20 for sex. As a result, she became
pregnant and knew she couldn’t handle raising another child. It was then that
she remembered a caring former schoolteacher, Mrs. Dabbs, who had said to her
students, “If you ever need anything, call me.” And she did. 

Mrs. Dabbs and her husband had six grown children, but took the
girl into their home and cared for her until baby Reggie was born. They served
as his parents until he was in fourth grade and then officially adopted him.

When Dabbs was in second grade and learned of his adoption and the
back story to his life, he was stunned. “Despite the love I was given, the
knowledge of my story and the shame of it all still managed to seep into my
bones,” he said. “I felt alone. Abandoned. Unworthy of love.”

Seeing life as “the sum of your choices,” he learned not to let the
past that wounded him define him. “Now I am defined by God’s love that changed
me,” he said. 

Though it still hurts sometimes, Dabbs is thankful he did not
become another statistic. “You can’t change your past, but you can change your
future by changing your present reality. The reality you have the potential to
experience is not someone else’s either; it is designed to fit you perfectly as
if a master Italian tailor has taken your exact measurements and produced a
personal masterpiece that is just your size. That is what I want for those who
hear me speak.”

Dabbs challenges kids and adults not to feel “sidelined” by their
past or their weaknesses. “They can become the very fuel to a God-ignited fire
that will blaze through your family, community and world,” he said. “That’s what
He did in me, and that’s what He’ll do in you.”

Reggie is both humorous and thought-provoking, as Dabbs
tells his own story and of encounters he has had with young people. An acclaimed
saxophonist, he has played with Whitney Houston and CeCe Winans, and found music
has opened doors for him. He has spoken at Promise Keepers events, and has
traveled with popular speaker Dave Roever, who, he writes, “was a key component
in the forging of my identity as a national speaker.”

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