So the question we need to ask ourselves is, “Do I believe God is a truth teller? Or do I believe God is a liar?” If you believe God is truthful, then you must believe Him when He says you are beautiful. Why? Because the Bible tells us we are “wonderfully made” unique creations. Every time someone—whether our husband, our friend, or our parent—gives us a compliment and we turn it down, we call that person a liar. Every time we criticize ourselves, we call God a liar. To really understand the devastating effects of negative self-talk, try this exercise:
Make a list of the negative things you tell yourself about the way you look. For example, “My thighs are huge. I really hate them.” Then replace “my” with the name of a close friend: “Kate’s thighs are huge. I really hate them.” You would never say such cruel things to someone else. It’s just as hurtful—and sinful—when you say them to yourself.
Q: You identify shame as one of the factors that keeps women trapped in their negative self-image. What are some common reasons women feel ashamed? How can they break free from the shame trap?
A: Shame is the feeling that because there is something wrong with us, we don’t deserve to be loved. It is almost always tied to an element of secrecy. We try to hide those flaws, so we won’t be rejected. We feel shame for things both big and small, both past and present, both within and beyond our control.
Some common reasons include: missed opportunities, poor choices, sexual impurity, eating disorders, sexual abuse/sexual assault, addictions, family dysfunction, failure, and socioeconomic status. Sadly, the church has sometimes contributed to that sense of shame, particularly concerning the issue of purity. Women who have made the wrong choice in the past feel like “damaged goods.” Hopefully, we will do a better job with my daughter’s generation.
The only way I know to move past those feelings of shame is to find someone you can trust and talk about your story. Shame’s power depends on secrecy and darkness. When we step into the light, we can experience life through God’s lens of redemption.
Q: In If You Could See As Jesus Sees, you contrast our feelings of discontentment with God’s character of generosity. Why do you think we so often struggle in this area? What does our lack of contentment cost us?
A: A popular quote flooding Instagram and Pinterest reads, “Her success is not your failure.” What wise words for today’s woman. Have you watched someone in your own life receive something you wanted, something you thought you deserved and allowed your greed to run your life?
Maybe a coworker received that sought-after promotion. Maybe a friend moved into your dream home. Maybe you have played the part of the bridesmaid but never the bride.
When we look at life through Jesus’ lens of generosity, we realize the many blessings He bestows on you and me and everyone else who doesn’t deserve them. Anytime we are left feeling slighted, upstaged, or empty-handed, we have a choice to make: give ourselves over to our discontentment, or submit to a spirit of generosity, knowing that all we have received is an open-handed gift from our Savior.
When discontentment wells up in our hearts, it eclipses all the goodness and beauty that used to reside there. We live in darkness, suffering from temporary memory loss and forgetting the many ways in which God has met our needs—and wants—in the past.
Janet Perez Eckles 
Shawn Akers 
Abby Trivett 
