Rather than coach you on how to live a great life this week, I thought that I would turn the tables a bit and give you some tips on how to guarantee that you live a mediocre, halfhearted existence.
10 Ways to Guarantee That You Will Live a Perfectly Awful Life!
1. Spew your opinions, political views and disappointment with life over everybody all the time.
Make sure that your Facebook page is filled up with whining and complaining. Alienate the younger generation with your “I know more than you!” attitude. Verbal vomit is your middle name, and you can’t wait to audibly barf over everyone in your unsuspecting pathway. Count your troubles—name them one by one!
2. Be too busy to pray.
Involve yourself and your family in temporary activities that ensure that church attendance is not consistent, devotions are sporadic and prayer is ignored unless there is an emergency. Let me know how that works for you.
3. Set some time aside every day just to worry.
Worry about the economy. Worry about the political climate of America. Worry about your family. Worry about your health. Worry about retirement. Worry before you go to bed. Make sure that you worry before you get out of bed. Worry in the shower and in the car. Worry out loud and worry privately. Live a life of full-blown worry!
4. Belittle or ignore people who are supposed to be serving you.
Complain about your waitress to her manager. Tell the person at the drive-thru window what a terrible job they have done of filling your order. Be curt with the single mom who checks you out in the grocery store line.
5. Believe that the world revolves around you, your pain, your needs, your desires and your time schedule.
Everyone else should bow to you, consider you and revere you. You, after all, are the known center of the universe and everyone else should act as such! Be completely self-absorbed. No one matters but you.
6. Always look out for number one.
Make sure that your rights are loudly heard and always met. Ignore what other people desire or need.
7. Don’t ever exhibit any compassion to anyone, anytime, anyplace, anywhere.
After all, if you get involved with other people’s troubles, you may neglect your own. If you show one iota of mercy or understanding, the world is sure to walk all over you!
8. Do not be faithful.
You can promise things, but there is absolutely no good reason to actually follow through. Quit every job before it is completed. If something is too difficult for you to finish, go and do something much easier. Overpromise and underdeliver is what I always say!
9. Only be committed to things that are visible or tangible.
Things like reading your Bible, spending time in prayer or worshipping are irrelevant to the world in which we live. Instead, play computer games, be captivated by your cell phone, spend loads of time on social media and watch endless YouTube videos and Netflix.
10. Don’t ever forgive anyone.
Allow bitterness to be a full-blown part of your life. When you are angry, let it show. When you are offended, make a big deal about it.
And now you know how to live the life of your worst nightmare.
Have you seen yourself in any of the “10 Ways to Live a Perfectly Awful Life”? I hope not, but if you did, perhaps it is time for a change. Perhaps you could be committed to a few different disciplines instead!
10 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams!
1. Encourage one another day after day while it is still called today (Heb. 3:13).
2. Pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17).
3. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, let your requests be made known to God (Phil. 4:6).
4. Know that you live in a kingdom where serving others is the greatest thing that you can choose to do (Mark 10:43).
5. Remind yourself that where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing (James 3:16).
6. The only way to live a life of fulfillment is to live by the motto that, “He must increase and I must decrease” (John 3:30).
7. Put on a heart of compassion and keep it on (Col. 3:12).
8. Exhibit the fruit of the Holy Spirit, which is known as faithfulness (Gal. 5:22).
9. Walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7).
10. Never, never, never let the sun go down on your anger (Eph. 4:26).
And that, my friend, is the life of your dreams and the life of God’s dreams for you! So choose that abundant and joyful life today! {eoa}
Carol McLeod is an author and popular speaker at women’s conferences and retreats where she teaches the Word of God with great joy and enthusiasm. Carol encourages and empowers women with passionate and practical biblical messages mixed with her own special brand of hope and humor. She has written five books, including No More Ordinary, Holy Estrogen!, The Rooms of a Woman’s Heart and Defiant Joy! Her most recent book, Refined: Finding Joy in the Midst of the Fire, was released last August. Her teaching DVD, The Rooms of a Woman’s Heart, won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award for excellence in religious programming. You can also listen to Carol’s “Jolt of Joy” program daily on the Charisma Podcast Network. Connect with Carol or inquire about her speaking to your group at justjoyministries.com.
Janet Perez Eckles 
Shawn Akers 
Abby Trivett