How to Grow a Powerful Marriage

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Iris Delgado

To have a blessed supernatural marriage, you must know and do the things in the rulebook of God’s Word. It’s that simple, yet so many couples think that their lives will be too boring or too demanding. Living under the supernatural covering of God’s blessing guarantees the strength and wisdom to overcome temptations and difficulties.

A marriage that is not plugged into and connected to God is one that sooner or later will experience a meltdown and the attacks of the enemy.

What attacks? Indifference, lukewarmness, control, manipulation, ego problems, small white lies, insatiable desires, mistrust, suspicion and all the things the enemy uses to bring. All these evil qualities are rooted in disobedience and self-will.

When my husband and I started out 41 years ago, we were green, inexperienced and as opposite as day and night. My husband is very energetic and friendly. He has an I-can-do-it type of personality. I tend to be more reserved, with an I-don’t-know-if-I-want-to-do-that personality. I am also a peacemaker. Being opposites has tremendous benefits. It doesn’t matter what type of personality God gifted you with, you are able to perform with excellence when knowledge, wisdom and understanding take priority over natural senses.

I have learned to be content in all situations, to never hold a grudge and to discern evil spirits when they interfere in our relationship. I have taken time to study, learn and accept who I am in Christ Jesus. Having confidence gives you a better foothold on Satan’s devices against marriage. For this advice to work for you, your spiritual position must take priority over your physical position. This is a lifestyle of commitment!

Practicing this valuable counsel has freed me from self-pity and regrets. My aim every day is to nourish my spirit before I nourish my body. I do this by reading a portion of Scripture and praying for direction, protection and wisdom. I consider myself blessed and totally free of all condemnation. I want you to experience the same. These are the things my husband and I do in a consistent and focused manner.

When I admire my husband, it becomes natural for him to also admire me. Find something to appreciate, even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t tolerate negative feelings. Instead, ask God to help you develop a positive attitude. Ask God to give you confidence to encourage and admire your spouse. After a while of purposefully looking for something to admire in your spouse, you will create a tremendous habit toward a powerful marriage.

Don’t just get angry because your husband doesn’t help out around the house. You can use your woman’s ingenuity to sweetly request help. Some men don’t help because they are not asked. They were reared accustomed to seeing Mom do everything. Start admiring something, and enjoy the payback.

Saying “I love you” in our relationship is spontaneous, and many times deliberate and purposeful. The more you say something, the more you believe it. We both had to learn and practice this habit. We didn’t learn this at a young age when life was racing by with dysfunction, too many demanding siblings and exhausted parents. Experiencing abuse of any kind can also inhibit a person from spontaneously saying, “I love you dearly, and I care about you.”

An endearment is an act of affection, a compliment, a kind and loving word and flattery. Make it a practice in your marital relationship. It will smooth out a lot of rough edges. It will cause tenderness to surface. Saying I love you and forgiving each other without holding grudges are very powerful ways of doing spiritual warfare. Without saying it, you are declaring, “Satan, you can’t have my marriage!” The enemy of your soul desires that you be constantly involved in contentions.

I pray and bless my husband every day. I pray specifically and speak blessings such as these: “I bless my husband’s mind today.” “I decree that no weapon formed against him today will prosper.” “Abba Father, I thank You for keeping him from all temptations and protecting him from all harm.” “Close all doors of interruptions today, and open the doors of blessing.” “I cover him with the blood of Jesus.” My husband does the same for me. He prays specifically for me. We don’t pray together as a couple all the time, but when I’m down, I always ask him to pray and rebuke the enemy. Not only is prayer very effective, but also the act of depending on each other for prayer has a bonding effect.

This is what spiritual warfare is all about. It’s not looking for a demon in all the corners, but it’s loving with faith. We are facing a war every day. The enemy of our souls, Satan, desires to steal our faith. He couldn’t care less if we read and memorize the whole Bible, go to church every week, and help the poor. If the enemy can discourage and prevent you from praying and believing God, he has you conquered. Discouragement, as well as lack of prayer and joy, will eventually devastate your belief system and your marriage.

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