Faithful Are the Wounds of a Friend

The more visible you become, the more feedback you receive. And almost none of us were taught how to sort it.

So we do one of two things. We armor up and dismiss everything, which makes us unteachable. Or we absorb everything, which makes us paralyzed.

Both responses cost you the growth that good criticism was sent to produce.

Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

Solomon gives you the filter in one line. The source matters more than the sting. A wound from someone committed to you is faithful, even when it hurts. Flattery from someone indifferent to you is dangerous, even when it feels good.

Order Kap Chatfield’s New Book, “The Power to Prosper” on !

Here’s how I run feedback through that filter. Three questions.

Does this person know me? A stranger reacting to thirty seconds of my content gets a different weight than a friend reacting to thirty years of my life.

Does this person want my good? Critics who want you corrected are useful. Critics who want you destroyed are noise.

Is there truth here regardless of motive? Sometimes God puts a real correction in a hostile mouth. Take the truth. Leave the venom.

Then act on the faithful wounds fast. The leaders who grow are the ones who let trusted people hurt their feelings on schedule.

I went deeper on this idea of leading under public pressure in this week’s video on the main channel. It’s on YouTube now, Monday’s upload. Watch it and send it to a leader who’s taking arrows right now.

Choose your wounds well.

Kap Chatfield is a Christian content creator, filmmaker, pastor, speaker, and coach. He has directed two feature-length documentaries (Acts: The Time Is Now, 2021). He has amassed over 1 million subscribers on YouTube. He is the Online Pastor of Love Church in Omaha, Nebraska. He is married to Joy Chatfield and together they have four children.