Why the Sins of Ashley Madison Are More Severe Than Most

The narrative has once again reared its head.

We saw it with great prevalence in the aftermath of the Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage.

We were told not to judge because the homosexual’s sin was no worse than when we lose our temper with our kids, gossip or tell a white lie.

Now in the wake of the Ashley Madison, we are hearing it again everywhere.

We shouldn’t judge because the 400-plus men and women in ministry who opened accounts on a website that helped them have an affair haven’t committed any worse sin than we have.

First of all, it is not we who judge when we call their sin a great offense against God, their wives or husbands to whom they vowed fidelity and their children. It is God’s Word that judges their sin in many places when it repeatedly condemns sins of a sexual nature.

Here are three reasons why the sins of those on Ashley Madison are not like other sins:

1.  Sins of a sexual nature are more serious sins. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:

Flee sexual immorality. “Escape from sexual immorality. Every sin that a man commits is outside the body. But he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18).

Sexual intimacy binds us physically and spiritually to each other. Paul called it a mystery. It is a holy act and reserved for marriage alone, but when engaged in outside of the boundaries of marriage and distorted in a way to illicitly bring other partners into that union by way of affairs, polyamory and polygamy is a distortion of a holy thing!

Lying is not a distortion of a holy thing.

Anger is not a distortion of a holy thing.

This is why sexual sins are more significant.

2. There is a difference between intentional/habitual sins and unintentional sins. To pay a lot of money to sign up on a website and arrange to have an affair is very intentional!

In the Old Testament we don’t find a sacrifice for intentional sin. Furthermore, in Hebrews 10 it says:

“For if we willfully continue to sin after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment and fiery indignation, which will devour the adversaries. Anyone who despised Moses’ law died without mercy in the presence of two or three witnesses. How much more severe a punishment do you suppose he deserves, who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded the blood of the covenant that sanctified him to be a common thing, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know Him who said, ‘Vengeance is Mine,’ says the Lord, ‘I will repay.’ And again He says, ‘The Lord will judge His people.’ It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Heb. 10:26-31).

When we look at the Old Testament sacrifices, we see that there is no sacrifice for intentional sin. The Bible is clear about this, when we receive Christ as the propitiation for our sins, we no longer have the right to do what want, but are obligated to live according to the dictates of His Word.

We are literally in covenant with Him. A covenant that was signed in blood—the blood of Jesus Christ that He willingly shed on our behalf as the payment for our sin!

By willfully choosing to sin after accepting His willingness to pay the price for our sin, is to sink to unfathomable depths of ungratefulness for His sacrifice!

It would be like our friend choosing to pay $10,000 in parking fines that we accumulated, and then going out the same day to accumulate more fines … on purpose.

John addressed this strongly when he said,

“If we say that we have fellowship with Him, yet walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth” (1 John 1:6).

“Whoever says, ‘I know Him,’ and does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him” (1 John 2:4).

“Whoever remains in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has not seen Him and does not know Him” (1 John 3:6).

Choosing to intentionally and habitually sin is literally walking in sin. The problem with those who choose to walk in sin is that they have chosen not to walk with Christ. There is a huge difference between unintentionally doing something that offends the Lord and willfully choosing to do something we know he hates and that nailed His only Son on the cross!

Paul said: “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may increase? God forbid! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?” (Rom. 6:1-2).

The problem with intentional and habitual sin is that it shows a distinct lack of fear of God and a complete disregard for Jesus’ sacrifice.

If we can purposely do that which offends God and nailed His precious and only Son on the cross, there is not only a deep and serious problem in our spiritual life, there is a distinct lack of the fear of the Lord.

Proverbs says:

“The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate” (Prov. 8:13).

“By mercy and truth iniquity is purged; and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil” (Prov. 16:6).

The fear of God reminds us that God sees, God knows, and God will tell!

 3. Confession and being caught are not the same.

There is a significant difference in the heart when the Holy Spirit leads us to a place of repentance that happens upon confession, and being caught in our sin.

Being caught means we are still in the act of our sin, and conviction—while may be occurring—is not in sufficient measure so as to bring us to a place where we, of our volition, freely confess our sins and repent. In fact, many people who are caught go on to continue their sin by another means, proving that confession and repentance never occurred at all.

To be sure, being caught can be the blow it takes to lead one to genuine confession, but showing remorse for being caught does not always mean confession has actually taken place.

All sins are not equal, but all sins require a Savior and they all need God’s grace and forgiveness

Please understand, I am not saying that sins that are not sexual in nature are insignificant.

All sins separate us from God.

All sinners need a Savior.

All sin causes a breakdown in our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Yet, while all sin is offensive to God, there are sins that are significantly more offensive than others. Much as it is offensive to me when my husband is angry with me. But the offense I feel to that could not possibly compare to the offense I would feel if I discovered his name on the Ashley Madison website.

The two cannot be equated, because they are completely different in nature.

They are both offensive.

They both cause a breakdown of relationship.

But the latter is significantly more offensive than the former.

It doesn’t negate the fact that the former is offensive, just as the fact that God rates sexual sins as more offensive to him as other sins doesn’t mean that the other sins are unimportant to Him. No, they are! They most certainly are! All sin is serious to God because all sin separates us from Him.

All sin needs God’s forgiveness and grace.

This is the good news!

While sexual sins are more offensive to God, the same grace that cleanses us from sin will cleanse these sins as well … and that grace makes us equally forgiven under the blood!

Rosilind Jukic, a Pacific Northwest native, is a missionary living in Croatia and married to her Bosnian hero. Together they live with their two active boys where she enjoys fruity candles, good coffee and a hot cup of herbal tea on a blustery fall evening. Her passion for writing led her to author her best-selling book The Missional Handbook. At A Little R & R she encourages women to find contentment in what God created them to be. You can also find her at Missional Call where she shares her passion for local and global missions. She can also be found at on a regular basis. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google +.