Why Americans Are Tossing Aside God’s Design for Sex

Our porn-saturated society continues to redefine what sex and intimacy look like. The traditional, biblical values of older generations are being thrown aside as culture embraces sexual freedom and an “anything goes” attitude. Today, as long as adults consent, it seems nothing is taboo.

For example, on March 25, Utah Governor Gary Herbert signed a bill that decriminalizes sodomy and adultery among consenting adults. Another bill that would repeal the crime of fornication (sex outside of marriage) awaits Governor Herbert’s signature to become law.

Pastor and author Paul David Tripp said, “Few areas of the human struggle reveal more powerfully the sad sinfulness of sin than the sex evils that are done to people and through people hundreds of thousands of times a day.”

But God has a different plan for His people: a plan based on mutual satisfaction, both physical and emotional connections, and respect and commitment to each other. And since He created sex and instituted marriage, maybe we should listen to what He says about them.

The Sacred Covenant of Marriage

God’s plan is for one woman and one man to be sexually active only within the bounds of marriage. Today’s culture keeps drifting farther from that view. But godly men stand firm to their marriage covenant.

In the Bible, Hosea demonstrated his commitment to his wife, Gomer, who was a prostitute before they married. They had a son, but soon after, Gomer returned to her old ways. They had two more children, but Hosea was uncertain if he was the father.

Eventually, Gomer’s lovers decided to sell her as a slave. Despite all the heartache she had caused him, Hosea paid the redemption price to reclaim his wife. That’s the type of personal sacrifice and total love that God has for us! He also calls us as men to live out that love in our marriages.

As Paul wrote, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it” (Eph. 5:25).

Lust Only Destroys

Jesus was very specific about lust:

Your sexual thoughts and desires should focus on one woman: your wife. God gave her to you to love and cherish forever. She is His gift to you. Don’t let lust for other women on a computer screen enter and destroy your marriage.

Consider Jacob and Rachel in Genesis. Jacob loved Rachel so much that he was willing to work seven years as her father’s servant to be able to marry her. He put aside his own desires and dreams and focused solely on Rachel.

Their marriage had its difficult times, but he stayed devoted to her. To endure that amount of hard work truly shows he was motivated by love, not merely lust.

Society will tell you that a woman is only for your pleasure and sexual needs. Recently, a Mississippi lawmaker was arrested for punching his wife in the face because she didn’t undress quickly enough when he wanted to have sex.

God’s plan for intimacy is based on love and respect, not pursuing your own selfish needs or desires.

Reality vs. Pornography and Fantasy

Pornography is based on fantasy. Real women cannot compete with your idealized mental images of the air-brushed porn women who are always available and willing.

Ordained pastor Carl Thomas said, “Fantasy can only deliver so much. Porn can’t give you intimacy; it can’t offer long-term satisfaction and it certainly can’t deliver the fantasy it sells. When it comes to some things, fantasy is fine; however, when it comes to sex, best stick to reality.”

Virtual Reality makes porn even more devastating to a marriage. Steven Clark of Above the Fray said,