The family budget is always tight. There are braces to pay for, a car in the shop, and the ever-increasing cost of groceries to consider.

By the time money is stashed away for college, retirement and savings for a rainy day, there is little left in the wallet when the time comes to take your wife on a nice date. The last thing you want to do is run up the credit card bill for an average dinner and overhyped movie.

This is when it’s time to think with our hearts. What wives truly need from us on a date has nothing to do with money. They crave our undivided attention and sincere communication.

To our detriment, we sometimes confuse dollar signs with loving intentions. In an informal Facebook poll on the subject, one woman put it this way: “Attention! Sometimes attention is way too expensive for many guys.”

With that sentiment in mind, we offer these ideas to create big romance on a small budget and provide the opportunity for both of you to receive the attention you deserve. Here are five great dates under $25 to help you get started:

1. The local theater date. Give your local high school or community theater a try instead of expensive movies. The cost is low, the stories are magnificent, and you are helping to enrich the culture. The great thing about a live performance is that it sparks deep thought and debate afterwards. “The evolution of Lady Macbeth was startling, wasn’t it, honey?” If you say that to your wife after this date, lust, romance and love will all be in action.

2. The full moon date. It’s not only wolves that come out to howl during a full moon—romance is also stirred. A blanket, soft music and perhaps some wine if she desires is all you need. Find your favorite spot to sit under the moon and let creation work its wonders.

3. The shimmering water date. You would be hard-pressed to find a woman on this planet who doesn’t love a date on the water. Whether it’s the beach, a lake or a stroll around a city park surrounding water, hold her hand, talk, and laugh under the stars.

4. The formal in-home date. Send your wife a formal invitation to a special dinner date two weeks in advance. Declare the dress to be formal, but only using things already owned and be creative. Prepare the meal yourself, or perhaps ask a friend to help. Have your children be the wait staff and help make your evening spectacular. Wine, dine and dance your wife into a flaming ball of romance by putting your best foot forward in appreciation of your love for her.

5. The reminiscence date. This is a special way to look back at where your relationship started and to dream forward as you imagine the future. Gather old pictures, music and various memories of your relationship; then take her to a spot that is considered special to you both. Reminisce as you laugh and maybe even cry, and make a toast to the future and all the new memories still to come.

Related Resource: “10 Ways to Save Money on Date Night”

Huddle up with your wife tonight and share an idea for your next date night.

All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At , dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From , fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

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We all walk through peaks and valleys—and we all have our wilderness experiences. But there’s a big difference between being a voice crying in the wilderness in obedience to God and finding yourself stuck in the wilderness, going around the same mountain over and over (and over).

I’ve experienced both realities, and I can tell you the former is liberating because you know you are smack-dab in the center of God’s will. The latter is frustrating because you know you’re absolutely missing it somewhere.

Of course, if you don’t have a revelation of why you are in the wilderness—if you are antsy for your big ministry debut, even though it’s not God’s timing—then you could be frustrated even in the will of God.

So, how do we interpret our wilderness experiences? With the help of the Word of God and the Spirit of God. I’m offering up a few possibilities here. There may be others. The important thing is not to play guessing games about the season you find yourself in. You need revelation and understanding that you can hang your faith on while you go through the wilderness so you don’t faint and give up.

1. Unbelief and Rebellion Will Leave You Wandering in the Wilderness

Sometimes you find yourself wandering in the wilderness year after year after year. It feels like you are going around the same mountain over and over (and over). That may be because you are. Remember, it was a three-day journey from the Red Sea to the Promised Land, but the Israelites wandered around in the wilderness, circling Mount Seir, for 40 years.

Why did it take so long? One reason was unbelief. The Father was prepared to take them into the Promised Land after two years, but 10 of the 12 spies Moses sent into the Promised Land brought back an evil report of unbelief (Num. 14). God waited until all the unbelieving men of war died, just like He said He would (Deut. 2:14).

Psalm 78:17 also notes that the Israelites rebelled against God in the wilderness. And Hebrews warns readers, “Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, in the day of trial in the wilderness, where your fathers tested Me, tried Me, and saw My works forty years” (Heb. 3:8-9). If you have been in the wilderness for years, ask the Holy Spirit if there is unbelief or rebellion in your heart.

2. God Is Waiting for His Perfect Time to Reveal You

John the Baptist seemingly spent much of his life in the wilderness. Luke records this about John: “So the child grew and became strong in spirit, and was in the deserts till the day of his manifestation to Israel” (Luke 1:80).

John was the one Isaiah prophesied about: “The voice of one crying in the wilderness: ‘Prepare the way of the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God’” (Is. 40:3). We know John did just that, as Mark pulled out Isaiah’s words when introducing John, who “came baptizing in the wilderness and preaching a baptism of repentance for the remission of sins. Then all the land of Judea, and those from Jerusalem, went out to him and were all baptized by him in the Jordan River, confessing their sins” (Mark 1:4-5).

John’s public ministry lasted only months after the day of his manifestation to Israel. Herod murdered him, but not before he fulfilled his ministry as a forerunner of Christ. Now, John was not in the wilderness because of anything he was doing wrong. John’s manifestation to Israel was a matter of God’s timing.

Think about it: John was prepared in the wilderness. He received revelation in the wilderness. He learned humility and obedience in the wilderness. He built a strong relationship with God in the wilderness.

If you find yourself in the wilderness right now, take heart—it may be that God is preparing you for something marvelous. Take the time to get to know Him because that relationship will serve you well after your revealing.

3. God Is Positioning You for Greater Power

The Holy Spirit Himself may drive you into the wilderness for a season. That’s what happened to Jesus. Matthew records, “Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil” (Matt. 4:1).

Satan offered Jesus three temptations that are common to man today. Jesus did not bite on the devil’s bait. He wielded the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, to send the enemy packing. He resisted the devil’s temptation, and the devil fled. But look what happened next: “Then Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee, and news of Him went out through all the surrounding region” (Luke 4:14).

Jesus was already baptized in the Holy Spirit, but he gained power through His wilderness experience. He went into the synagogue and essentially declared His public ministry. When He left there, the first thing He did was cast out a devil. The next thing was healing people, followed by preaching.

If you find yourself in a period of temptation, use the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit to resist the devil, and know that God wants to take you to a higher place.

David spent much of his life in the wilderness, either tending sheep or running from Saul. David did what other wise men have done during wilderness times: He got closer to God. When you land in the wilderness, check your heart and take joy in fellowshipping with God like David did in Psalm 63 when he was in the wilderness of Judah: “O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory” (vv. 1-2). Amen.

Jennifer LeClaire is news editor at Charisma. She is also the author of several books, including The Making of a Prophet. You can email Jennifer at @ or visit her website here. You can also join Jennifer on Facebook or follow her on Twitter.

When Jesus took a seat on the mountainside to deliver His timeless Sermon on the Mount, the twelve apostles of the Lamb were among the crowd of disciples who hung on His every word. They were amazed at His teaching. There was something different about this Jesus. He taught as one who had authority and not as the scribes. He lived His message.

The newly ordained apostles probably marveled when Jesus called those who are persecuted for righteousness blessed. I can imagine their brains went “tilt” when Jesus told them to love their enemies, bless people that curse them, do good to people that hate them, and pray for people that despitefully use them, and persecute them (see Matt. 5).

Indeed, Jesus’ teaching was a far cry from the world’s ways—or even the Law’s ways that commanded an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. The Sons of Thunder were among those in the crowd who were “astonished and overwhelmed with bewildered wonder at His teaching” (see Matt. 7:28, AMP). They heard the words, but they didn’t catch the revelation. They counted it as the best teaching they had ever heard, but the principle Jesus was imparting—the principle of moving in the opposite spirit—wouldn’t soon play out in their everyday lives.

How do I know? Luke 6 records the same sermon. Jesus actually delivered the Sermon on the Mount right after He chose the 12 apostles—and right after giving those 12 apostles the authority to preach the gospel of the kingdom and the power to heal the sick and cast out devils.

But before He sent them out to preach and work miracles with the authority of heaven, Jesus first equipped His chosen nation-shakers with the principles of moving in the opposite spirit. Jesus knew they would need to guard their hearts in the face of mean-spirited opposition and show religion a better way. Jesus taught them not to resist evil, to gladly give up their personal rights, to avoid judgmental attitudes. (You are familiar with the message.)

At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, the apostles had authority to cast out devils, but they didn’t have the revelation about moving in the opposite spirit of those same devils (or the sinful flesh). In other words, they had the information, but they didn’t have the revelation. Fast forward to Luke 9, just three chapters after the Christianity 101 workshop. What do we find?

First we see that the disciples weren’t able to cast the demon out of the child. Right after that, the disciples got into an argument about who would be the greatest. Then, John rebuked a man who was successfully casting out demons in the name of Jesus because he wasn’t part of the inner circle. (Hardly living the Beatitudes, were they?) And, finally, James and John, the Sons of Thunder, took offense when the Samaritans wouldn’t offer Jesus the hospitality He deserved. These apostles actually asked the One who came to save the world, “Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?” (Luke 9:54, KJV).

Um… were these disciples napping when Jesus taught the principles of moving in the opposite spirit on the mountainside? Surely they had front row seats and heard the message loud and clear. When the Samaritans snubbed the King, the apostles should have asked Jesus if they could hold a feast for the Samaritans and end the party with a healing service. But they didn’t catch the spirit of the message that offered them the secret to true power. So instead they started flowing in the wrong spirit. Jesus rebuked James and John and said, “Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of” (KJV).

James and John weren’t moving in the opposite spirit of the Samaritans. The words of their mouths revealed that their hearts were not fully aligned with the spirit of Christ. They weren’t in agreement with the Holy Spirit. The disciples wanted to use their authority to exercise the Law’s eye-for-an-eye principle—compounded about 1,000 times. They were offended and they wanted to retaliate. But Jesus not only teaches us not to retaliate. He teaches us not even to resist. The natural mind can’t comprehend Matthew 5:38-48. Let’s look at this passage in The Message translation:

“Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere?

“Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst.

“When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.

“If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

All of this is foolishness to the natural mind. The carnal mind wants to strike back twice as hard, file a countersuit, tell everyone who will listen what they did to you, make them pay. To stand there and take it, to give away even more than what someone is trying to force from your hands, to pray a blessing on the ones who are cursing you … that, my friends, is called moving in the opposite spirit—and there’s a reward in it. When you move in the opposite spirit, you avoid the bondage that the one who strikes you, sues you, takes advantage of you, gives you a hard time, or mistreats you in any way, is living in. You walk free—you walk in power. And your response might even set them free, too. We overcome evil with good.

Now, you can’t try to move in the opposite spirit, not really. You have to get the revelation of it and move by His grace alone. That’s why we have to give the apostles a bit of a break. They didn’t have the benefit of a leather-bound book that displays the Sermon on the Mount in red letters so they could meditate on it day and night until it renewed their minds. We do. They also didn’t have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of them. We do. When we move in the opposite spirit of the ones who come against us, we are moving in the Holy Spirit. After all, in Him, we live and move and have our being. And we, too, can live His message for the glory of God.

Jennifer LeClaire is news editor at Charisma. She is also the author of several books, including The Making of a Prophet. You can email Jennifer at @ or visit her website here. You can also join Jennifer on Facebook or follow her on Twitter.

“Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely,” declared Sir John Dalberg-Acton, who made this remark after extensive studies of both secular and religious history. When James and John went to Jesus and requested the two most prominent seats in His kingdom, Jesus rebuked them for their preoccupation with power and told them they were thinking like Gentiles, i.e., like people who did not know God. He then presented to them a new and radical model of leadership that would be characterized, He said, not by power, but by humble service (Mark 10:35-45). They must have been shocked when He told them they were to function as diakonoi, a Greek word that referred to a lowly servant who waited on tables and with no connotations of status, importance or power.

During the first century, while apostolic ministry was characterized by service, women freely functioned in leadership, including apostolic ministry. It was only after the church institutionalized and began to think of the apostolic in terms of office and power that women began to be excluded from leadership by men who believed their gender gave them the sole right to lead and rule.

This ungodly association of the apostolic with maleness and power is still used today as a justification for excluding women from leadership in the church. The popular Spirit-Filled Life Bible, for example, without a shred of evidence, explains the prohibition toward women in 1 Timothy 2:11-12 as referring to “the authoritative office of apostolic teacher in the church.” The truth is that 1 Timothy 2:11-12 was written to address a particular situation concerning Timothy and the church in Ephesus and was never meant to be a universal rule for all churches everywhere.

The Choosing of 12 Was Never Meant to be a Pattern for Leadership in the Church

Nonetheless, the fact that Jesus chose 12 men as apostles has, throughout history, been used as the basis for excluding women from authoritative roles of leadership in the church. This line of reasoning, however, ends in absurdity if followed to its logical conclusion.

Consider the fact that the 12 whom Jesus chose were not only men; they were Jewish men. Should only Jewish men be leaders in the churches? Furthermore, these 12 Jewish men were instructed by Jesus to preach only to Jews. He instructed them, “Do not go into the way of the Gentiles, and do not enter a city of the Samaritans. But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel” (Matt. 15:24). If we follow this line of reasoning, we must conclude that all church leaders must be Jewish men and that they can preach only to Jewish people.

The truth is that the calling of the Twelve was never meant to be a pattern for the calling and recognition of church leaders. In His approximately three years of earthly ministry, as outlined in the Gospels, the ministry of Jesus was clearly directed to the Jewish people. His purpose was to call God’s covenant people back into a relationship with Himself. To a Gentile woman who came seeking healing for her daughter, Jesus replied, “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel” (Matt. 15:24). Even though the woman’s persistent faith resulted in the healing of her daughter, Jesus’ reply to her clearly reveals the limited scope of His earthy ministry.

This all changes, however, with the death and resurrection of Jesus. When He comes out of the tomb, the restrictions are no longer there. His disciples are now told to take the good news of what He has done to “Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8). A new era has obviously dawned. Jesus’ first action after His resurrection sends a clear message that any limitations concerning His female disciples have also been removed by His redemptive work.

Mary Magdalene Receives the First Apostolic Commission From the Risen Lord

During the 40 days between His resurrection and ascension, Jesus appeared to His disciples at various times and on one occasion appeared to over 500 of His followers. The Gospel writers, however, are very explicit in noting that it was Mary Magdalene to whom He appeared first after His resurrection. The importance the evangelists attach to this fact indicates that it was no accidental occurrence but that Jesus purposely appeared first to Mary Magdalene in order to make an important statement to His followers.

When Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalene, He gave her certain, specific instructions. Matthew 28:10 records His words to Mary, “Go and tell my brethren.” In other words, He sent her on a specific mission defined by the words go and tell. The Greek word apostolos, from which we get the English word apostle, simply means “one who is sent” or “one sent on assignment.” It has nothing to do with office, government or power.

Mary was a “sent one,” and as such received the first apostolic commission from the risen Lord. Because the male disciples were required to hear the initial news of the resurrection from a woman, Mary has, throughout history, often been referred to as “the apostle to the apostles.”

This commissioning of Mary by Jesus was revolutionary, since the Jewish male of this time normally began his day with a prayer that included thanks to God that he was not born a Gentile, a slave or a woman. Women were barred from studying Scripture, and a rabbi considered it beneath his dignity to speak to a woman in public. Neither Jewish nor Roman courts of law would allow the testimony of women. Jesus challenged this deeply ingrained religious and cultural bias by appearing first to Mary and sending her forth as the first apostolic witness of His resurrection.

By appearing first to Mary, Jesus was cutting through all the disdain and prejudice of His male disciples toward His female disciples. He thereby declared His equal acceptance of women and affirmed the value of their ministry in His name. By appearing first to Mary and giving her the first apostolic commission after His resurrection, Jesus made a clear statement that women would be included in apostolic ministry in His church. This was revolutionary in the first century and is still so today, for there are many who still see the apostolic as being associated with maleness and power.

Paul Recognizes a Female Apostle Named Junia

Paul continues this revolution begun by Jesus. In his letter to the church at Rome, Paul sends personal greetings to 24 people in the latter part of the letter. These individuals are friends and co-workers who are dear to his heart.

Of the 24 mentioned by name, 10 are women. Many of these obviously functioned in roles of leadership in the churches. One woman named Junia is specifically referred to as an apostle. In Romans 16:7 Paul says, “Greet Andronicus and Junia, my countrymen and my fellow prisoners, who are of note among the apostles who also were in Christ before me.” Junia is a feminine name and was universally recognized as a female apostle for the first several centuries of the church’s existence. The famous church father of the fifth century, John Chrysostom, exclaimed, “Oh, how great is the devotion of this woman, that she should be even counted worthy of the appellation of apostle.”

Concerned by the presence of a female apostle, some have attempted to argue that the name should be translated Junias, which is male. There are insurmountable facts, however, that militate against this argument. First of all, without exception, all ancient Greek manuscripts have the feminine form of Junia, not Junias. Secondly, the female name Junia was quite common in the first century, whereas the male name, Junias, is unknown. Junias, therefore, is a hypothetical name. Thirdly, as mentioned above, Junia was universally recognized as a female apostle for the first several centuries of the church’s existence.

Why then have some modern translations, such as the NIV, rendered the name Junias instead of Junia? Dr. N. Clayton Croy, professor of New Testament at Trinity Lutheran Seminary in Columbus, Ohio, says, “It is hard to see any reason other than the translators’ bias against the possibility that a woman could be an apostle.” Well-known New Testament scholar James G.D. Dunn says, “The assumption that the name must be male is a striking indictment of male presumption regarding the character and structure of earliest Christianity.”

The idea of a female apostle is obviously too revolutionary for some modern exegetes. Nonetheless, the evidence is conclusive that Junia was a female apostle and recognized as such by Paul himself. Her example clearly demonstrates that women exercised apostolic leadership in the New Testament churches. But she is not alone, for a careful perusal of Scripture reveals other women who functioned in leadership roles in the New Testament.

Paul Included Women in the Leadership Gifts of Ephesians 4:11

That women can serve as apostles is also made clear from Paul’s discussion of the leadership gifts (obviously not an exhaustive list) in Ephesians 4:7-12. The apostle heads this list of gifts followed by the prophet, the evangelist and the pastor and teacher (v. 11). He begins the discussion of these gifts by pointing to the risen Christ as the One who bestows these gifts.

In verse 8, he says, “When He ascended on high, He led captivity captive and gave gifts to men.” The Greek word translated men in this passage is the plural of anthropos, which is gender inclusive and refers to both men and women. If Paul had wanted to restrict these leadership gifts to men only, he could have used the gender specific andras, which is the plural Greek word for man as male. He purposely uses language that makes it clear that the risen Christ bestows these gifts on both men and women.

Apostolic Christianity Includes Women

Many other women in both the Old and New Testaments functioned in leadership roles. The list includes Deborah, Huldah and Miriam in the Old Testament. The list in the New Testament includes not only Mary Magdalene and Junia, but Phoebe, Priscilla and the women of Philippi who labored with Paul in the gospel (Phil. 4:3). Many commentators believe that Priscilla was actually the one with the leadership gift because Paul mentions her first, although it was customary to mention her husband, Aquila, first (Rom. 16:3-5).

It should be noted that all of these women are presented in Scripture in a positive light. Nowhere is there the slightest hint that they were somehow functioning outside their proper roles. The Assemblies of God is, therefore, correct when, in its official position paper on women, it says;

The instances of women filling leadership roles in the Bible should be taken as divinely approved pattern, not as exceptions to divine decrees. Even a limited number of women with Scripturally commended leadership roles affirms that God does indeed call women to spiritual leadership.

The evidence is overwhelming that women functioned in leadership roles, including apostolic ministry, in the New Testament era. Since the New Testament church is the model, any church that limits the leadership gifts and callings of its female members cannot call itself apostolic or New Testament. It has veered from the norm of the New Testament. “But,” some will ask, “what about Paul’s call for female silence and submission in 1 Timothy 2:11-12 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-35?”

What About 1 Timothy 2:11-12 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-35?

First of all, these passages should never be used, as they commonly are, as a canon within the canon concerning the status of women in the church. The many passages that show women functioning in leadership should be given equal status with these two passages.

Secondly, the evidence is overwhelming that in these two passages, Paul is addressing local, cultural situations that existed in Corinth and Ephesus. They are on the level of Paul’s admonition for believers to greet one another with a holy kiss and for women to wear a head covering when praying and prophesying. These passages were never meant to be guidelines for establishing a church order and excluding women from leadership roles in the church.

Concluding Thoughts

There is no question in my mind that this unholy marriage of the apostolic with maleness and power has weakened the church and damaged her influence in the modern world. This can be remedied, and we can recover our voice and influence if we will do two things.

Number one, we must give up the prideful pursuits of power and return to the model of service that Jesus so clearly presented to His followers. Second, we must fully and equally embrace the gifts and callings of the female members of Christ’s body. Only then will the church be a fully functioning body through which the Spirit of the Lord will freely flow.

This article is derived from Eddie Hyatt’s latest book, Pursuing Power: How the Historic Quest for Apostolic Authority and Control Has Divided and Damaged the Church, available from Amazon, Kobo and from his website.

The battle of the Christian life has always been not just to believe, but to keep on believing. This is how we grow strong in faith and see the actual fulfillment of God’s promises in our lives.

Today we tend to soft-pedal unbelief as little more than a common weakness. But God takes no such easygoing approach (Heb. 10:35-39).

Rejecting God’s promises to us is far more destructive than the sensational sins we often talk about. The Bible says it is a “sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God” (Heb. 3:12, NIV).

The great target of Satan is to break down our faith. He knows all too well that the righteous live by faith, so he aims at cutting our lifeline to God.

Faith is like the hand that reaches up to receive what God has freely promised. If the devil can pull your hand back down to your side, then he has succeeded.

Real faith is produced when our hearts draw near to God and receive His promises deep within us. There, by divine power, His Word will work supernaturally.

The chronic disease that afflicts us is not a lack of effort; it’s a lack of real faith. Many times we are treating the outward behavior and not its source.

We are running the race of faith. And we desire to receive not only God’s ultimate promise of salvation but also the many other promises He has made to us along the way.

Faith Follows Promises 

Because of the unique place God has given to faith, His grace flows along the channels of His promises—not His commands. God’s commands show His holy character and reveal our sinfulness, but they have no ability in themselves to empower us to obey.

It is not that we don’t know what is right or that we don’t desire to live that way. Our problem is mustering the spiritual strength to obey, and the commands of God cannot impart that (Rom. 7:18).

Saints down through the ages have not so much clung to the holy commands of God and the accompanying judgment to all offenders as they have cherished the promises and revelations concerning His great salvation through Christ (Rom. 4:5; 8:1, 3; 1 John 1:9). When trusted, these blessed promises of God release His supernatural grace in and through us.

It is these promises that draw the heart to God in faith. In fact, the great command of the New Covenant is to believe!

The Israelites who left Egypt came up short with regard to possessing the new land for this reason: They heard clearly what God promised, but their hearts did not receive it in faith (Heb. 4:2).

Today it is possible to make a living as an esteemed theologian and yet have no more living faith than a slug. Christians can listen to the Word preached every Sunday—and even have a devotional life of sorts throughout the week—without rising above the cynicism, depression and unbelief that are so prevalent in our culture.

The Word must find within our hearts an atmosphere in which its divine power can be released. That kind of dynamic faith fairly oozes from the words of the great Israelite leader Joshua near the end of his life.

He was one of only two men who left Egypt as adults and actually made it all the way into the Promised Land. His parting instructions reveal the environment in which faith blossoms and grows.

Look Back With Thanksgiving 

Joshua begins his farewell with this ringing statement: “You yourselves have seen everything the Lord your God has done to all these nations for your sake; it was the Lord your God who fought for you” (Josh. 23:3).

In other words, look back and think about all He has done. How can we have faith for the future if we don’t look back often and thank God for all He’s given us in the past?

A lack of gratitude is, in fact, one of our besetting sins. In most of our churches, there is no outpouring of vibrant thanksgiving and praise each Sunday because we are too preoccupied with our problems.

Give Him praise! Let Him know from the depths of your heart how much you appreciate His goodness!

Whether it is part of your religious tradition or not, get past your self-consciousness and formality to praise the Lord. Refuse to be embarrassed or hindered by anyone.

Look Ahead With Anticipation 

Next Joshua turned his attention to the future. At the end of his years, he was still invoking the promises of God and boldly declaring that “the Lord your God Himself” would conquer the remaining Canaanite nations (Josh. 23:5).

Every one of us can point to things in our lives that are not yet the way God wants them to be. He wants to root out things that hinder and mar our Christlikeness.

God also wants to use us to bless and encourage other people in ways we have never dreamed. And He will do these things as we live in this blessed atmosphere of faith!

Among the many definitions of faith, perhaps none is more important than Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Faith is the ability of the human spirit to receive impressions from God that are born of His Word and made alive by the Holy Spirit. We simply know that something is going to happen, for God’s Word has been received and has activated this spiritual sense called faith.

The natural senses have to do with present and visible things. But faith has to do primarily with these future and invisible things that God has promised us in His Word.

Back in the most difficult days of pastoring the Brooklyn Tabernacle, my wife, Carol, and I were struggling to stay afloat with maybe 40 people attending on Sunday mornings. When our daughter, Chrissy, was about 2 years old, we noticed a lump under her eyelid.

I’d spent time praying about the problem. But I knew there was no faith in my heart, only apprehension.

We scraped up the money, and I took her to a doctor who recommended surgery. I knew what God had said in the Bible about healing; but I was filled with doubt and fear. I needed true, living faith, not theoretical faith.

The following Sunday, we were worshiping together at the end of the service. Suddenly my heart was flooded with a kind of divine light, and I was overcome with God’s awesome greatness, which makes everything on earth seem minuscule.

I envisioned my daughter being prayed for, and I saw her being healed! It was a real picture before the eyes of my heart. God had birthed something within me.

A teen-age girl brought my daughter forward. We gathered around her, anointed her with oil and prayed together for God to heal her. Within 48 hours, the lump was entirely gone, with no medical intervention of any kind.

Now what would happen in our churches if people came to each meeting with great faith and belief that God was about to do something wonderful? Unfortunately, many Christians who strongly defend the verbal inspiration of Scripture are the most unbelieving and cynical about God ever doing a new thing in His church.

My question is: If Jesus is the same today as He was in the Bible we defend, why shouldn’t we believe Him to do great things among us and through us, so we can touch people’s lives in powerful ways as did the first-century apostles?

Peter was no perfect saint, but God chose him and used him mightily on the day of Pentecost. God can do the same with us if we look to Him with childlike faith in our hearts.

Look Inward—But Carefully 

In addition to looking back and looking ahead, Joshua called the people to take stock of their obedience. They were to obey the law of Moses and to separate themselves from the idolatrous nations that were among them (Josh. 23:6-8).

This separation from ungodly things was for the purpose of maintaining the strength of the Hebrews for battle. Alliance with sinful things saps our strength and leaves us weak before the enemy.

Joshua knew this all too well from what had happened back at Ai (Josh. 7:1-26). After the stirring victory at Jericho, the army suffered an unexpected and humiliating defeat because the sinful disobedience of one soldier, Achan, had separated the people from God’s holy companionship.

Introspection is a two-edged sword. There are special times for looking inward—for example, when receiving communion (1 Cor. 11:28-32) and at other moments of divine searching.

However, if this process consumes us, Satan can gain the upper hand, keeping us preoccupied with our failures rather than with Christ’s pardon and power. The apostles called people to cleanse their hearts before God and then move on to faith and the fullness of the Holy Spirit.

Look Away to Jesus 

Joshua’s final instruction is stated very simply: “Be very careful to love the Lord your God” (Josh. 23:11). Our gaze must always be upon Him, for He is the one who will perform everything.

Satan wants us to focus on the problem, not the Provider. If we stop spending time with the Lord in prayer, the concerns of the physical world snatch our attention while the spiritual senses deaden and the promises fade.

The number one reason Christians today don’t pray more is that we do not grasp the connection between prayer and the promises of God. We are trying in vain to pray “because we’re supposed to” without a living faith in the promises of God concerning prayer.

When real faith in God arises, a certainty comes that when we call, He will answer. Soon we find ourselves seeking Him for wayward children to be saved, for a greater sense of the Holy Spirit in our church services and for spiritual gifts and power to be released.

Strength to keep believing often flows into us as we just take time to wait in God’s presence and worship Him. His promises become wonderfully alive as the Spirit applies them to our hearts.

God Is Waiting for You 

Let us not be hesitant about trusting God. What really matters isn’t our efforts, but the wonderful truth that God is a faithful God (Heb. 10:22-23).

It is not what happens to people that makes for tragedy in their lives; it is the missed opportunities to see God help them due to their unbelief that is the real tragedy.

Joshua must have had God’s faithfulness in mind when he ended his speech that day with this great crescendo: “You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed” (Josh. 23:14).

We, too, can finish our race in life with the same powerful declaration. Only keep believing in the God whose promises are forever true.

Read a companion devotional.

Jim Cymbala has been pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle since 1972. He is co-author with Dean Merrill of Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire. He lives in New York with his wife, Carol, who directs the Grammy Award-winning Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. Dean Merrill assisted in the writing of this article.

It would have been an exciting time for me if I hadn’t been so afraid.

My start into manhood came upon graduation from high school. It was the right of passage. It was expected for me to simply go get a job and make a life.

I left home with $35 and a 1966 Chevy pickup (it was an awesome classic short bed—black and chromed out). I bounced around in a couple of jobs until I landed my dream job in a coal mine. Working in the mine proved the starting blocks of manhood. I worked alone, 12 hours a night, seven nights a week—84 monotonous hours of pumping water out of the strip mine so the operators would have access to continue our mass moving of earth to unveil the coal.

The responsibility, the loneliness, the isolation forged my manhood and my work ethic. I continue to draw upon those few years of experience that shaped my perspective.

Here are five lessons that proved to be the starting blocks of my manhood:

1. Isolation is not intimidating. Getting over being alone for so many hours was one of my greatest hurdles. It has proven invaluable for accomplishing other things in my life. My willingness to stand on my own two feet and face a challenge built a self-assurance that I would need later in life. Isolation taught me that I didn’t need someone looking over my shoulder for me to work hard and accomplish a task.

2. Ingenuity comes from necessity. There were things that I had to get done and had to do alone. No excuses. I learned that I could do a lot more by myself than I had imagined. Running equipment, laying hundreds of feet of hose and maintaining the pumps required that I use my head to work. It taught me to think and reason. It taught me ingenuity.

3. You can dream with your eyes open. I spent seven nights a week for 18 months without missing a single night of work. I was awake while everyone that I knew was asleep. Being alone at night in a secluded field and an open pit allowed me to dream big dreams for my life. It also allowed me to begin an open and vocal dialogue with God. I learned to pray while others sleep.

4. Hunger drives you to work. I didn’t have options. I didn’t have the luxury of wandering through years of college. I couldn’t afford to be lazy. As Solomon said, “The appetite of laborers works for them; their hunger drives them on” (Prov. 16:26, NIV).

5. What you do in secret moves you in public. The hours of my labor showed up the next day when the operators would arrive and start their day. If I didn’t do my job, there was no way to hide it. If the water wasn’t pumped out, hundreds of men would not be able to do their job. Being self-governing and motivated has helped me be entrepreneurial in my drive and diligent in my work.

What about you? What was the job that established your work ethic? What would you consider the starting block of your manhood?

FivestarMan was founded in 2008 by Neil Kennedy. Kennedy has passionately promoted God’s Word for 25-plus years of ministry. He is known for practically applying biblical principles that elevate people to a new level of living. As a business, church, ministry and life consultant, Kennedy has helped others strategize the necessary steps to reach their full potential.

For the original article, visit .

It used to be when you ended up in a hospital, you’d expect the doctors to just deal with your physical condition. If you wanted someone to pay attention to your spiritual needs, you’d have to find a chaplain or pastor.

But that’s not necessarily true anymore. A number of doctors these days are willing to personally help you call on the Great Physician.

It would be against Dallas heart surgeon Mark Pool’s medical oath if he didn’t study every patient’s case before operating. But he feels it would go against his Christian calling if he didn’t at least offer to pray with all his patients.

“God is the Great Physician. He is the One who controls life and death,” Pool said, explaining his desire to keep his patients and himself in contact with God.

God’s Scalpel

Pool pointed out the scalpel is his instrument during surgery.

“And in the same way, I see myself as an instrument in the hand of God. So I’m the one doing the operation, but He’s the one guiding me.”

He said he likes to pray with his patients.

“It shows them that I don’t think I’m sitting in the place of God; it shows them that I see that I’m just an instrument in His hand,” he said.

When folks are facing medical emergencies, some people would say that’s exactly the wrong time to pressure them about spiritual matters. But most patients say it actually takes much of the pressure off to bring God and prayer into their situations, and they appreciate it.

A Lethal Condition

Dallas resident Tom Pryor came to Pool’s Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital with an emergency need to have an aortic valve replaced.

“His risk of dying was probably 90 percent if he had no surgery,” Pool said of Pryor’s condition. “Even if you do a surgery, the risk of dying is about 30 percent. So it’s a highly lethal condition.”

Pryor had just finished calls with his three children, sobered by the fact they might never hear from him again, when Pool offered to pray.

“I was slightly taken aback for just a second,” Pryor said. “And, then, realizing my condition and the things that were going on, I thought it was probably a pretty good idea.”

Pryor acknowledged the immediate impact of Pool’s prayer. He said he felt much more calm and relaxed.

He believes God did an even bigger thing by answering Pool’s prayer asking God that Pryor would live through the surgery.

“I am here. I beat the odds,” he said.

Overstepping Boundaries?

Another praying doctor, gastrointestinal surgeon Rohan Jeyarajah at the Methodist Dallas Medical Center, said he understands a doctor asking to pray with patients could make some of them uncomfortable.

He said some might even think they dare not refuse this person who has so much power over their life and health.

“To some degree it can be like a teacher and a student,” Jeyarajah stated. “And you have to make sure that you’re not overstepping your boundaries there or being inappropriate in that relationship.”

“The critics would say, ‘Well, there’s a power differential. You’re this powerful doctor. This poor patient is there helpless and they feel like if they say no, you might not do your best during the surgery or something like that,” Pool also pointed out.

“I think it’s important to be sensitive to the fact that there are patients, number one, who may not be Christian,” Jeyarajah added. “And, number two, there are patients who may not believe in God at all.”

Still, Jeyarajah said he’s witnessed God do so much at his hospital, he can’t help but believe and pray.

‘Every Day is Going to Church’

“I see the hand of God every day. I always say that with the work that I do, it’s almost like every day is going to church,” Jeyarajah testified.

Pool has also seen miracles. He recalled a patient whose heart just suddenly stopped in the intensive care unit.

“I opened his chest up and I was squeezing his heart,” Pool remembered.

“Nothing was happening and I prayed, ‘Lord, save this man.’ We kept working and within a few minutes, his heart just started to beat. And there was nothing I had done differently to it. It just started up. And so his life was saved,” he said.

But not everyone wants contact with this spiritual world Pool knows is real.

“I have had one patient who turned me down,” he recalled. “I was there about to start the surgery and I said, ‘You mind if I say a prayer with you?’  He said, ‘I prefer not.’ I will mention that his wife caught me right after that and said, ‘If it had been me, I’d have let you pray for me!’”

Still, both Pool and Jeyarajah’s spiritual intercessions get almost 100 percent support from their patients.

“Oftentimes they’ll say ‘That prayer meant the world to us,’” Pool stated.

That’s how Russell Truett, from Rockwall, Texas, felt after he had a heart attack, but stalled and suffered about three weeks before finally going to the hospital.

Pool did a double bypass on Truett’s heart, accompanied by plenty of prayers before and after.

“It was a huge relief,” Truett said about Pool’s frequent desire to pray with him.

“Being a Christian myself, whenever he asked that, it just took a world of pressure off my chest. And not only that he believed in it, but that he would offer to do it,” he added.

Beyond the Hospital

Pool doesn’t restrict his prayers just to medical matters. He found out from Truett that he was divorced from his wife about a year-and-a-half before.

“I was still in love with my wife. And I had pursued her for that year and a half, but she wouldn’t have anything to do with me; quit talking to me,” Truett said.

Pool prayed for reconciliation. Then Truett’s wife called him in his hospital room.

“She asked if I felt like company and I said yeah. She came up that night and stayed the rest of the night in the hospital with me and has not left my side since,” Truett recalled.

Another Rockwall resident, 78-year-old Jimmy Mayfield, needed an aortic valve replaced.

“It makes me feel better to know that the guy who’s going to make the decisions when he gets in there has the Lord with him and has that peace,” Mayfield said from his hospital gurney.

In Mayfield’s hospital room, Pool took his hand.

“Father, I ask for strength for his heart, that you would protect it,” the surgeon prayed.l

“We know about Your love because You sent Your Son. We know about Your power because You raised Him from the dead. Father, I ask that You would work in a special way with Your love and power in Mr. Mayfield’s life.”

Prayers Without Ceasing

Jeyarajah knows some people declare they wouldn’t want these kinds of prayers said over them. But he said they are probably people who haven’t faced a killer disease yet.

“At the moment that you find out that you’ve got some horrible disease—cancer, whatever—I don’t care what you believe in, if you don’t actively believe in God, well, you believe in God at that moment,” the surgeon said, having had years of dealing with patients facing life-or-death situations.

Pool’s patient Truett encourages other doctors to consider following the example set by Pool and Jeyarajah to pray with their patients.

“I think they would be surprised how many of their patients would appreciate it if they would do it,” Truett said.

“First Thessalonians says ‘Pray without ceasing.’ And that definitely means pray before you go and operate,” Pool mentioned.

These are doctors humble enough to say they’re not the Great Physician, but smart enough to know it’s only wisdom making sure they bring Him into their surgeries.

Jeyarajah remembered one surgery that was going poorly.   

“We got into some really big bleeding. And I put my finger on the bleeding and I looked up and I just said a little prayer. And the resident observing said to me, ‘What do you think you’re doing—are you praying or something?’” the doctor said. “And I said, ‘Actually, I am.’”

Pool loves the Lord so much, he almost sacrificed his dream of being a doctor to become a pastor. But he said God showed him He has him just where He wants him.

“In what I’m doing for my patients and in ministering to them, that’s my ministry. And I see now that the highest form of ministry is not necessarily full-time Christian ministry at a church. It’s just the ministry that God has for you,” Pool said. “And so that’s what I’ve found: God’s given me a ministry even as a heart surgeon.”

For the original article, visit .

One argument in favor of gay marriage made by professed Christians and unbelievers is “Jesus didn’t say anything about homosexuality.” Is this statement true? Yes and no.

It’s true that we have no record of Jesus specifically mentioning homosexuality during His earthly ministry, but He didn’t mention bestiality or molesting children either. Does this “argument from silence” (a logical fallacy) prove that Jesus was OK with these things? Of course not.

We do know, however, that Jesus affirmed marriage as between one man and one woman in a one-flesh relationship for life by appealing to creation. (Of course, Jesus is God the Son incarnate. He affirms the entire Old Testament. Yet even if I grant that Jesus’ words, the red letters, during His earthly ministry are more authoritative than the rest of Scripture, the argument still fails.) He essentially said, “It’s Adam and Eve, and not any other definition.” Thus, Jesus rejected every other so-called definition of marriage beyond what was given in Genesis 1:27 and 2:23-24.

In Mark 10:2-9, we read, “And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ He answered them, ‘What did Moses command you?’ They said, ‘Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.’ And Jesus said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, “God made them male and female.” “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate’” (ESV).

When asked about divorce, Jesus quoted Genesis 1:27 and 2:24. The parameters for all expressions of sexual orientation, for all desire for one-flesh relationship and for all that it entails is one man and one woman committed to one another for life in marriage. Every other desire for any aspect of this one-flesh relationship outside of seeking marriage to the opposite sex is a violation of God’s creation. In other words, to desire any aspect of the one-flesh relationship outside of marriage between one man and one woman for life is sin. That’s what Jesus thinks about homosexuality.

Thus, we see that we cannot separate Jesus’ views of marriage from the Old Testament view of marriage—the traditional biblical definition of marriage—since the Old Testament view of marriage is Jesus’ view of marriage.

Furthermore, we cannot separate Jesus’ views of marriage and homosexuality from the other New Testament writers. In addition to hearing the argument “Jesus never said anything about homosexuality,” I often hear, “Paul was against homosexuality, but he was a bigot.” But if Paul was a bigot, you must reject the entire New Testament:

• If Paul was a bigot (Rom. 1:26-32; 1 Cor. 6:9), then you cannot trust his letters in the New Testament: Romans, 1 and 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 and 2 Thessalonians, 1 and 2 Timothy, Titus, and Philemon.
• Since Luke details Paul’s conversion, Christ’s commissioning of Paul as an apostle and the various miracles Paul did while never diminishing his ministry (even though he was a bigot), you must reject Luke’s writings as well since he approved of a bigot’s (Paul’s) ministry. As a result, you must reject the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles.
• Since the apostle Peter called the apostle Paul’s writings “Scripture” in 2 Peter 3:15-16, you must reject all of Peter’s writings since he approved of a bigot’s (Paul’s) ministry. As a result, you must reject the Gospel of Mark since he detailed the eyewitness account of a bigot-approver (Peter) and since Mark was a companion and friend of Paul the bigot (Acts 13:5; Col. 4:10; 2 Tim. 4:11; Philemon 24).
• Since Matthew recorded the words of Christ in affirming Peter’s (a bigot-approver’s) ministry in Matthew 16:18, you must reject the Gospel of Matthew.
• Since James approved of a bigot’s (Paul’s) ministry in Acts 15 and Galatians 2:9, you must reject the book of James.
• Jude, as well, the half-brother of Jesus, approved of Peter’s ministry (Acts 1:13), even though Peter approved of Paul’s (a bigot’s) ministry; therefore, you must reject the letter of Jude.
• Since the book of Hebrews was either written by a bigot (Paul) or a bigot-approver (Apollos or someone else who approved of Paul’s ministry, since all Christian leaders we know of in the New Testament church approved of Paul’s ministry), you must reject the book of Hebrews.
• Since the apostle John approved of both Peter’s (a bigot-approver’s; John 21; Acts 1, 3) and Paul’s (a bigot’s; Gal. 2:9) ministries, you must reject his writings as well: the Gospel of John, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John and Revelation.
• Jesus approved of Paul’s ministry according to Luke in Acts 26:14-18, and since there is nothing written by Jesus’ hand in the Bible and we only have Jesus’ words written by those who approve of Paul the bigot’s ministry, you must reject all the words in the Bible that Christ said.
• And even if we grant that some of these men approved of a bigot or bigot-approver prior to his sin, we still have no record of them recanting. And they had plenty of time and chances to recant!

If you think Paul was a bigot, then you must argue that the entire New Testament has been corrupted—including the words of Christ—by the apostle Paul’s bigotry. Do you love your homosexual sin more than Christ?

In conclusion, “What does Jesus think about gay marriage?” Jesus thinks that gay marriage is evil. If you are a homosexual, I encourage you to agree with God’s Word instead of agreeing with what the world says against His Word. There’s no possible way a person can read the Bible and come up with “Homosexual marriage is not evil” unless he or she changes Scripture.

Don’t change Scripture, for the same Bible that says homosexual marriage is sin also says that Jesus Christ is the only way of salvation (John 14:6). If you cannot trust the Bible when it speaks about sin, you cannot trust the Bible when it speaks about salvation.

Based on the authority of God’s Word, I encourage you to repent of all homosexual desires you are conscious of. Repent of all desires grounded in your homosexual orientation. If you turn from your sin (repent), believing (faith) that Christ died for your sin and rose from the dead to declare you righteous before His Father, you will be saved from God’s wrath, your wicked heart, the evil one and this wicked world. Christ will wash you (salvation); Christ will be washing you daily (sanctification); and you will be ultimately washed by Christ in the end (glorification).

If you are a Christian, continue repenting of all sin and sinful desires, and continue trusting in Christ alone for your salvation.

Jared Moore is pastor of New Salem Baptist Church in Hustonville, Ky. He is the author of 10 Sacred Cows in Christianity That Need to Be Tipped. You can read his blog at .

For the original article, visit .

People-pleasers are everywhere. They can parade as successful pastors or as top-of-the-corporate-ladder executives. The most easily identified are the passive, codependent types.

All pleasers are out to prove they are valuable people—trying to quiet the voice within that says they aren’t. People-pleasers play a tape that says, “People will love and accept me if I please them.” Their myth says, “You are somebody when you please others.”

Pleasers believe that a failure to please will result in rejection and the false assumption that they are not valuable. As a result, they go about trying to make everybody but themselves happy.

This frequently requires pleasers to keep their own thoughts, desires and needs locked away in their inner selves. They believe their mission on Earth is to drive themselves into an emotional breakdown, if necessary, to make sure others approve of them. When they fail to please someone, they feel guilty or believe (probably unconsciously) that their world is going to end.

The paradoxical dynamic that takes place is that the very individuals to whom people-pleasers try to prove their worth very often use and abuse them. Instead of gaining respect as a pleaser, you often lose it. So trying to please everyone to feel you are “somebody” is a dead-end street. You will eventually find yourself exhausted, disillusioned and feeling less like somebody than ever.

Instead, resolve with God’s help to redirect your life and energy toward becoming a whole and healthy person who does not require the acceptance and affirmation of others to say, “I am valuable.”

Are You a People-Pleaser?

The first step toward freedom from “people pleasing” is to determine if you are a people-pleaser. You can do this by honestly answering the following questions:

• Do you accept responsibility for the happiness of others?
• Do you believe you can make others happy?
• Do you feel guilty when you think of yourself instead of others?
• Do you feel guilty when you tell someone no?
• Do you believe it is un-Christian to think of yourself and your own health and emotional well-being? 
• Do you feel better about yourself when you give in to the desires of others rather than pleasing yourself?
• Are you able to set boundaries when it comes to your own health and emotional well-being?
• Do you understand what it means to set boundaries?

A people-pleaser would answer yes to the first six questions and no to the last two. If you conclude that you are a people-pleaser, then what are you to do?

If you are a people-pleaser, you need to redirect your need to please. Your focus needs to change from horizontal to vertical. In other words, you need to become more concerned with what pleases God than with what pleases others. They are not the same thing, as many people believe.

Paul tells us in Romans 12:1 that we are to “present [our] bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God” (NKJV). But if we are going to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice (and people-pleasers literally do this), then it must be to God alone. We are to please Him first, and He is the only one we are to worship.

The flip side of this truth is that when we give our all to please others, we are in fact engaging in a type of worship toward those we want to please. Many pleasers believe this kind of behavior is “virtuous,” but it isn’t—because it is done with the unconscious motive of getting approval and acceptance in return.

Are we to please God hoping to get something from Him? No, we please Him by recognizing what we have already received from Him. When God brings us into relationship with Himself, we become somebody. The full realization of this comes with time as we cooperate with the Holy Spirit’s efforts to “grow us” into the persons we were meant to be.

Once our minds are renewed by the Holy Spirit, we begin to see and understand that it is God’s will for us to seek to “be somebody” in His sight rather than in the eyes of others. We can also find an answer to the question I am asked so often: “What am I supposed to do when I am asked to do this or that?”

For the Christian, the answer is simple: Focus on pleasing God by seeking to know His will for each situation as it arises. It is not necessarily God’s will for us to do everything we are asked to do, even in the church! When our heart’s desire is to please God, we will be able to put others’ needs and desires in a healthy perspective.

Weary people-pleaser, ask God to forgive you for trying to please everyone else besides Him. Begin to believe you are now somebody in the kingdom of God because God says so.

We change our beliefs about our personhood by believing the truths of God’s Word rather than by continuing to believe our myths. This is the first step toward positive change. Next come the behavioral changes.

Changing Pleaser Behavior
People-pleasers need to budget their time and energy as they would financial budgets. This means they must prioritize their lives and determine how much time will be allotted for specific people and activities, including themselves. I suggest the following order (in order of importance): relationship with God; family (marriage, children, parents); employment; personal time (time alone with God, time alone with self); self-care; church; community; other.

God asks for the No. 1 position in our lives. We commit to that when we make the decision to become a disciple of Jesus Christ (Luke 14:25-33). The problem is that some people-pleasers wrongly believe that being “a good Christian” means pleasing others. They believe they are putting God first when they say yes to a good cause, especially if it is a church-related activity. They have not confronted this myth with reality.

When God reigns at the top of our list of priorities, we can trust Him to show us where to place other people, ourselves and all other involvements. When our vertical relationship with God is right, then our horizontal relationships will naturally fall into their rightful places. The same is true of the commitments we make.

So how do we divide or budget our time commitments according to our priorities? First, we must recognize that God wants us to make our families our No. 1 priority under Him. When over-commitment begins to rob us of time that should be given to our families, it is time to say no.

You may notice that after employment I listed “personal time.” It makes sense to me that if you don’t take some time for yourself, then the time you give to others won’t amount to much! If there ever was a person with a vision, a purpose and a consuming passion, it was Jesus the Son of Man. Yet He was not a people-pleaser. Have you noticed that when He needed time for Himself, He took it?

The Gospel of Luke records, “At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place” (Luke 4:42, NIV). Since the Lord had been up all night healing the sick and casting out demons, He was exhausted. Instead of expecting His heavenly Father to give Him supernatural strength to continue, the Lord recognized His need for rest and rejuvenation.

We need to designate time in our busy schedules for us to nurture our relationships with our heavenly Father. We must be fed from the Word of God and energized by the Holy Spirit to be fruit-bearing Christians.

We also need time to minister to ourselves. This means taking time for reflection, time that is used to get in touch with ourselves to find out where we are, where we want to go and (sometimes) where we have been.

These times of reflection should always be under the direction of the Holy Spirit. We must become still and quiet to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit that is so vital to our spiritual health. The Scriptures tell us He knows all about us, and He knows the mind of God (Rom. 8:27). We need this information to confront our myths with reality.

Quiet times provide the vital opportunities people-pleasers need to get things into perspective. A clear perspective can help pleasers make wise decisions about all the requests and demands put on their time by others. This helps bring order and control to their agitated lives as they sort out their priorities and allocate their time. By spending time with God and with themselves, people-pleasers will be able to put the obligations of home, church, community and other areas in their rightful places in their time budgets.

People-pleasers often experience guilt when it comes to saying “yes” to themselves. But it can prove to be one of the best investments of time you will ever make.

Another vital step needed to break free from people-pleasing is to learn how to set boundaries. Boundaries differentiate us from other people.

People-pleasers have difficulty erecting fences between themselves and others. They lack the ability to set limits that declare what they will or will not do, or what they will or will not tolerate.

People-pleasers can be unaware that certain things belong to them personally, such as the right to say “no” when they want to say no, and “yes” when they want to say yes. They can also be too afraid to build personal fences for fear of hurting others or of somehow displeasing God.

The truth of the matter is that when we allow others to take advantage of us, we are encouraging and assisting them in their disobedience. God is not pleased with anyone who uses and abuses another!

People-pleasers can gain the respect and sense of personhood they are searching for by setting firm boundaries regarding their involvement in the lives of others. When it is necessary to tell others no to choose what is best for ourselves (according to our God-ordained priorities), or even to submit to our own valid needs or desires, we should do it graciously but steadfastly.

People-pleasers can effectively change their self-defeating behavior once they begin to view themselves as separate from others, sharing equal standing in the kingdom of God with everyone else. Each individual person bears the image of the Creator Himself.

Everyone enters the kingdom “by grace … through faith” (Eph. 2:8). Grace is “the unmerited favor of God,” and we don’t receive it by our “works” or good deeds (v. 9).

We all enter God’s kingdom through the same gate: Jesus Christ. None of us is good enough to enter on our own merits. Our real value depends solely on our potential in Christ.

You and I have every reason to accept ourselves once we are convinced that we are children of God and that we are loved, forgiven and accepted by Him. When we are self-accepting, we don’t have to seek the approval and acceptance of others to confirm our personhood.

As pleasers accept the truth of their value in Christ and learn to budget their time according to their priorities and limits, they will soon feel positive new feelings about themselves. Their old behavior of looking to others for affirmation will fall away, and they will find themselves seeking out God rather than people for the satisfaction that only He can provide.

Read a companion devotional.

Freda V. Crews, ., Ph.D., is a certified clinical mental health counselor.

If you hold a job outside your home, God has plans for you—and for your workplace.

It doesn’t matter what kind of job you have or where you fit on the company totem pole. What matters is that you embrace your calling to transform your work environment by using the power that God has made available to you.

Perhaps you don’t like your job. Maybe you can’t wait to move up or move out. But don’t let your current circumstances prevent you from seeing God’s purpose for your life right where you are.

Everyone has to start somewhere. Joseph’s starting point was the slave block in Egypt. Ultimately he ended up running the empire.

Daniel was enslaved and deported to a foreign land and then forcibly turned into a eunuch. Still he became the No. 1 person in Babylon in charge of all the affairs of state.

Changing the Spiritual Climate

Perhaps you feel underappreciated or overwhelmed. If so, take comfort in knowing there is someone who understands exactly how you feel: Jesus. At one point the Lord was so buffeted by discouragement that, in a rare moment of utter frustration, He demanded, “O unbelieving and perverse long shall I stay with you and put up with you?” (Luke 9:41, NIV).

The spiritual climate surrounding Jesus at that time was hostile—so much so that even John the Baptist’s convictions were shaken. At one point Jesus’ disciples became so angry with the circumstances that they wanted to call down fire upon an unreceptive town.

Even the Father became exasperated and had to rebuke Peter, James and John from a cloud. I doubt that your worst day on the job could be as bad as the one these disciples experienced when they were reprimanded directly by God!

In the midst of this negative climate, Jesus took positive action. He recruited a batch of 70 disciples and gave them specific instructions for sharing the kingdom of God with others.

First they were to speak peace to the people they encountered and fellowship with them—”eating and drinking what they give you” (Luke 10:5, 7). Then they were to care for the people’s needs–“heal the sick who are there”—and proclaim that the kingdom of God was near (vv. 9, 11).

Because these disciples carefully followed Jesus’ instructions, the demons in the area lost their toehold. Even Satan lost his position of power over the region. The spiritual climate changed so dramatically that Jesus was able to rejoice and praise God for all the good things that were going on around Him (vv. 17-21).

Maybe the spiritual atmosphere in your workplace is as bad, or worse, than what Jesus experienced. But you can follow the same four steps that gave so much victory to the 70 disciples: blessing, fellowship, care and proclamation.

Let’s take a look at the marketplace version of these four actions: joining the system, embracing it, improving it and bringing the kingdom of God to your job.

Joining the System 

If you hold a job, you are already somewhere in the marketplace. It doesn’t matter how undesirable your job is or how you got it. What is important is that you are in the system because God has a purpose for you to fulfill there.

For this reason, you need to make peace with your job by accepting it as God’s starting point for you. Speak peace to it. Thank God for it.

You will always find plenty of reasons to be upset, even angry, at the marketplace in general and at your job in particular. After all, you live in an imperfect world and work in a marketplace that is under the control of the evil one.

But don’t let the odorous sin in your workplace prevent you from introducing the sweet aroma of grace. Take a positive posture.

Joseph, Daniel and Esther had to make peace and accept situations that were not what they would have chosen. Yet they did so because they wanted God to be able to reveal His purposes for them.

Joseph had to forgive his brothers and overcome the bitterness which, humanly speaking, he was entitled to hold because they had thrown him into a pit and sold him into slavery. Daniel had to come to grips with the fact that he had been taken away from his homeland and stripped of his manhood. Esther had to love a king she did not choose and who had no affection for her people.

All three recognized that no matter how much evil had been inflicted upon them, God would eventually use it for good. They held on to their conviction that God had a destiny for them that was greater and better than their present circumstances.

Because of that conviction, they were able to excel at jobs and assignments that, on the surface, were unappealing, even degrading. If they had quit because their tasks weren’t enjoyable, they never would have fulfilled their destinies.

You need to be in the system before God can begin to transform it. God will not transform your workplace in order to put you in it. On the contrary, He has placed you in it to bring transformation to it.

You are the change agent! When you accept this assignment, you create a monumental problem for the devil because light—no matter how dim or small—has started to invade his kingdom.

Embracing the System 

The next step is to embrace the system. God may eventually lead you to a different job; but until that time comes, you need to give everything you have to your current one. Doing so allows God to move you from victory to victory.

You can begin by making a list of all the good things your job has to offer and then affirming those things. Make a declaration that you wholeheartedly embrace your current employment.

Joseph took this step when he embraced the system of slavery. He could have chosen to work half-heartedly or begrudgingly, but instead he served his masters with extraordinary diligence.

Esther also took this step when she served her husband and his wicked guest, Haman, not once, but twice. It must have been difficult for her to embrace her job as a queen, knowing that Haman was evil and sought the destruction of her people. But she did not let this distract her from doing the best possible job.

So often Christians project a tremendous sense of rejection toward their workplace. They point to the flaws in the system and thus condemn it. But when the adulterous woman stood before Jesus, He did not focus on the sins that had ruined her but on the hope that lay ahead: “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11).

Be hopeful about your workplace. After all, when light and darkness meet, who wins? Greater is the One who is in us than the one who is in the world!

Improving the System

The next step is to improve the system. Just as the 70 were told to heal the sick in the homes of those with whom they had fellowship, you and I are instructed by the Lord to make things better at work—especially in those areas where things are not going so well.

When you take the first step and make peace with your job, you neutralize the evil elements that have created strife between you and your work. When you take the second step and embrace your job, you make it a part of your life. That opens the door to the third step, as God’s blessings begin to extend into your workplace.

God bestowed blessings upon Egypt, Babylon and Persia on account of Joseph, Daniel and Esther. They were able to improve the system. In doing so, they proved to their kings that God cared for their nations.

Likewise, when you improve the system at work, you convey a deeply appreciated message to your boss, partner, associates or employees. You also point them toward God. Nothing points marketplace people toward the Lord better than seeing a miracle in the marketplace!

Bringing the Kingdom to Your Job

The final step is to declare that the kingdom of God has come to the place where you work. This is not an abstract declaration. You are the light of the world; therefore, you are able to bless your job, embrace it and bring to bear the power of God in the areas there that require miracles.

I know a Christian who became a high-ranking executive in a large European telecommunications corporation. After a powerful encounter with the Lord, he came to the realization that God wanted him to be a shepherd to the employees who worked for him.

The next day he arrived at the office before anyone else and blessed the working space of every single employee in his department. He did this day after day, and before long the spiritual climate around him improved significantly. This became evident in black and white when sick leaves and conflict levels in his department were reported to be dramatically lower than in the rest of the company.

The man’s boss—the CEO of the company—asked him for an explanation. “It’s God!” the executive said, and he went on to explain how he had put a canopy of prayer over the department.

When the company decided to construct a new corporate headquarters, the Christian executive was put in charge of the project. He made sure that from the time the contractors started digging until the facilities were finished, everything was covered in prayer.

One day he was approached by some company accountants who were keeping record of the accidents that took place on the project. They were perplexed because the accident numbers were much lower than they would have expected for such a huge endeavor.

They had scrutinized the records to see if there had been underreporting. They checked to see if someone had been tampering with the books. But they found that everything was in complete order.

“It’s God,” the Christian executive explained, and he went on to give them the same speech he had given his boss.

Sometime later I tried to call this Christian businessman. I could not reach him because he was at a celebration banquet.

Key executives in his company had gathered to celebrate the tangible evidence of the kingdom of God in the company’s balance sheet. Five years earlier, this man’s department had been $13 million in the red. Now it was recording a surplus of $1.3 million!

When asked how this was possible, the executive declared, “There is no way this could happen without the intervention of the Lord.”

Improving the First Step 

The ocean of blessings this company experienced began at the headwaters of a very tiny creek. The key, the origin, was simple obedience. It all began when this Christian executive decided to make blessing his workplace part of his job description.

If you work for an ungodly boss or a corporation where the spiritual climate is repressive, don’t let that prevent you from moving forward to bring the kingdom of God to your job. I doubt that your boss or any of your associates are worse than the bosses of Daniel, Joseph or Esther. They served evil, pagan, idol-worshiping kings—but that didn’t deter them from fulfilling their destinies.

You may say that your job is less than desirable. Daniel, Joseph and Esther could have said the same thing. Nevertheless, they took the jobs they were given and brought the kingdom of God to the very place where Satan was at work.

They succeeded—as the Christian executive did—because light always defeats darkness.

So take heart. Begin to implement these four steps. Your light will shine in your workplace with ever-increasing brightness, and awesome transformation will come.

Ed Silvoso is founder and president of Harvest Evangelism, an interdenominational ministry committed to helping fulfill the Great Commission.