We all know what a “man cave” is, or at least have a general idea. No matter the location or size, this space is man’s domain!

And in this space, our minds are free to wander without restriction or limits. Kick back, relax, turn up the volume, take off one sock and throw away the coasters. Have you ever thought about why a man needs a man cave? What do we all share that takes us to the man cave?

For me, the first thing that comes to mind is the hustle and bustle of each day—daily life can be tough. We all have responsibilities and expectations placed upon us. Even Batman was restricted to 24 hours in a day and needed his Batcave to rejuvenate.

Misuse of the Man Cave

One prevailing theme that is taking over men’s lives is the misuse of the man Cave. It has gone from a place of rejuvenation to a place of hiding. I believe the purpose of a man cave is to regenerate and get back into the world and accomplish something. Any man can easily get stuck in their man cave and never be heard from again. What would happen if a baseball player stepped up to the plate, struck out in three pitches, went to his man cave and never stepped up to the plate again? Our man cave is not a place to run to so we can hide from the world and our responsibilities.

Every man needs to rejuvenate to be effective, and no man should be hiding from being effective. What goes on in the man cave should not consume us. I like to watch Persons of Interest or work out with some free weights. But are either of these activities negative in themselves? No, they’re not. But they can be if I let them consume my time and energy. I’d become useless.

It’s not the action or activity used for rejuvenation that is bad, but the mishandling or abuse of it that leads to ineffectiveness. Any one of us can have a man cave that’s sole purpose is restoration but instead becomes the sole focus in life that then drains us and leaves us ineffective.

On the flipside, there are those who never enter their man cave—or, even worse, don’t know where it is. These men don’t know they need to rejuvenate. You might laugh and think that’s impossible. But I kid you not, there are those who work and work and then work some more. They’re called workaholics. I have been there myself, and I’d find myself exhausted trying to figure out how to regain my strength.

We all need to step back from time to time before we exhaust ourselves and become useless or ineffective. Step into the man cave, rejuvenate and rejoin the world.

Men at some point in their life will be called to lead. This could happen at school, at work, with our families, communities or friends. But how can a man lead others if he cannot lead himself?

Just like Batman, we must start with learning how to lead our own lives, work on genuine confidence and then take on greater responsibilities. In life, we start with the small things, call it training if you will, and move on to bigger and greater things.

All men at some point in their life can find themselves in one of these stages. Daily life, all 24 hours of each day, will not go away. But how we manage our time, ourselves and our responsibilities is up to us. Just how life may throw us a curveball, we must improvise, adapt and overcome.

For the original article, visit .

Everyone feels stress. It’s a natural bodily response that can seem uncontrollable at times. But before it takes a toll on your long-term health, here are a few easy and inexpensive ways to relieve stress.

1. Stretch out. Exercise will always top the list for stress reduction. It not only improves your physical health, it can strengthen you mentally and emotionally as well. The good news is you don’t have to run a 5k to see the benefits. Simple stretches, like toe touches and wrist flexors, can be effective stress busters.

2. Try this for 10 minutes each day. Lie with your back on the floor, legs and feet relaxed, palms to your sides and facing up. Take three deep breaths. On the third breath, bring your hands above your head, and stretch them away from you. At the same time, point your toes and stretch your feet away from you. Imagine you are being pulled gently by the hands and feet in opposite directions. Do this a few times, or as long as you desire. Then do the same stretch standing up. Reach your hands toward the ceiling, while standing on the balls of your feet (or just leave your feet flat if this is uncomfortable). Lower your feet and hands, and repeat. Incorporate other stretches as you desire.

3. Think gray. Do you ever catch yourself thinking in black and white? “If I don’t save more money, I will never retire.” “I neglected everything on my to-do list. I can’t get anything done.” All-or-nothing thinking leaves us no room for mistakes, and it is a breeding ground for anxiety and stress. Giving in to this line of thought can be easy, because it often happens subconsciously. How can you beat it? Black-and-white thinking usually contains all-encompassing words like “never,” “always” or “nothing.” Pay attention to what you are saying and the types of thoughts you are having. If you notice these black-and-white words invading your thoughts, try to counter it. Ask yourself what other outcomes could occur. Are there really only two options here? If you can come up with a few positive alternatives to the situation, you’ve already set your mind on the right course.

When the black-and-white thinking is overwhelming, some people find having a “go to” thought, like a favorite person or song, can be helpful.

4. Keep journals. Identifying and writing down your stressors can help you understand triggers and address specific issues causing stress. If you find yourself noticeably stressed but don’t understand why, it might be important to keep a log. Write down the date and time when you experience these feelings, so that you might notice a pattern of stressors in your life. Does a certain person or activity seem to show up at the same time as the stress? What can you do to address it?

Prayer journals can also help relieve stress. This can be a time to unload your worries or to simply rejoice in the beauty of God’s creation. Let it be a tool to remind you that we cannot control everything in life, but we can find comfort in his sovereignty.

Don Colbert, M.D., is board certified in family practice and in anti-aging medicine. He also has received extensive training in nutritional and preventive medicine, and he has helped millions of people discover the joy of living in divine health.

For the original article, visit .

This is a list written for men, by men. This isn’t criticism so much as it is confession. We’ve all been there, and we all need to learn. Here are 10 of the biggest mistakes men make:

1. The belief that denial is an effective relationship tool. This comes in close to No. 1 on any list. If men pretend for long enough that a problem or a conflict does not exist, then we expect that the problem will automatically go away without further attention.

2. Thinking of ourselves first and others as an afterthought. It’s not so much that men are selfish—more that we simply don’t think. Guys tend to go with the first impulse that comes into their heads. Typically that’s a self-serving impulse, but that’s not why we do it; we do it because it’s the first thing that came into our heads.

3. The tendency to believe that once we explain ourselves, women will automatically change their point of view.We honestly believe that our rationale is that compelling. Fact is, we might as well get a shovel, dig a deep hole in the ground and jump right on in—because that’s typically the effect of a man trying too hard to justify his insensitivity.

4. Not really listening. Why listen when we know we’re right? Why listen when we already know what our wife/girlfriend/child is going to say? Well, maybe we don’t know; maybe we have something to learn; maybe listening will show some respect; maybe listening more carefully will save the relationship.

5. Not really paying attention. This is listening with our eyes and the rest of our senses. It would help to notice our wife’s new haircut or to learn to read the subtext in the conversation or to turn off the game when the relationship needs attention.

6. “I [chest thump, strut] don’t need any help.” The American spirit of individualism buoys this myth. We often believe that seeking help is incompatible with being a real man. This is a huge mistake.

7. Wanting to “fix” problems rather than understand them. Another huge mistake, and it frequently involves riding roughshod over basic communication—so we can hurry on with the “fix” and leave well enough alone. To paraphrase a well-known board game: “Do not talk, do not listen, go directly to the solution.”

8. “I can put this together without reading the directions.” This is an extension of “I don’t need any help.” What is it about the male psyche that gets stuck in the “I can do it myself” stage of child development? We were designed to live and work in cooperative community. “Plays well with others” may not be on our report card anymore, but learning how to draw strength from community remains a critical benchmark if we want to engage our full potential as men.

9. The irrational belief that hiding feelings and building a wall around emotions will make for a stronger, more attractive man. It actually turns out the opposite is true. Men who are comfortable with emotions and in touch with their feelings and who are willing to open up enjoy better relationships and more satisfying marriages.

10. Attempting to [chest thump, strut] impress other people by trying to do stuff that sends us to the hospital. Again, the opposite turns out to be true. Women are attracted to men who are alive, who demonstrate sound judgment and who act in ways that suggest a secure future.

All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a by-product, the hearts of the children with their dads. At , dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include: daily emails, blogs, Top 10 Lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

Confession time: I went on vacation and blew it with my eating.

After thinking about what happened, I realized what caused me to stumble: It was the lure of “new and improved food.”

What do I mean? When you travel, do you anticipate:

• Eating food you’ve never eaten before (new food)?
• Eating familiar food prepared a new way (improved food)?

That’s what happened to me. What else can explain my desire to try a new restaurant that promised “gourmet grilled cheese”?

There isn’t anything wrong with eating “new and improved food” on vacation. But my problem was that I ate too much of it. The definition of gluttony is an “overconsumption of food or drink to the point of waste.”

I wasted food by eating what my body did not need.

I feared that if I didn’t eat it then, I’d never get the opportunity to eat it again. That same fear of scarcity caused me to gain extreme amounts of weight when I had a job traveling. But on vacation, I forgot about those consequences.

In a way, I was like the children of Israel in Numbers 11:4-6. God was feeding them with manna, but they complained about it. They said, “Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic; but now our whole being is dried up; there is nothing at all except this manna before our eyes!”

What is wrong with this picture? They forgot they were slaves in Egypt! They may have eaten freely, but they were not free. They suffered hard labor, and Pharaoh was in control over their very lives. They lived in fear for the lives of their male babies, as Pharaoh had ordered them to be murdered as they were born.

Isn’t sin just like that? You remember the “good times,” forgetting all the pain and grief that came with them.

Contrast the Israelites’ response with Jesus’ response in Matthew 4:1-4. Jesus had been fasting for 40 days, whereas the Israelites had access to food but their tongues craved something else. All they were concerned about was satisfying themselves.

When the devil tempted Jesus to turn stones into bread to satisfy His hunger, Jesus said, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (v. 4).

In fact, in every temptation the devil presented to Jesus, Jesus responded with focus back to God:

• “You shall not tempt the Lord your God” (v. 7).
• “You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve” (v. 10).

I’ll be traveling again in a few weeks. Like Jesus, I desire to glorify God with the fruit of self-control in my eating. That desire does not end when I go on vacation!

This is an agreement I’ve made with myself to settle this issue:

1. I have the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16; Rom. 7:25).
2. I set my mind on the things of the Spirit daily so that I can live according to the Spirit (Rom. 8:5). I set my mental thermostat first thing in the morning every day to show love to others, to love God and to seek His glory in every choice I make.
3. By the Holy Spirit’s power, I put to death the deeds of my body so that I can live and declare the works of the Lord (Rom. 8:13; Ps. 118:17).
4. I remember that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in me (Rom. 8:18).
5. I tell myself that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I am not my own; I was bought with a price. Jesus shed His blood for me, and His body was broken for me. Therefore, I glorify God in my body and spirit, which belong to God (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

I am telling you all of this to be accountable to you. When I return from my next trip coming up in a few weeks (God willing), I will write to you and let you know how I kept the above agreement. With God’s help, I won’t give in to the lure of “new and improved food.”

Kimberly Taylor is the author of The Weight Loss Scriptures and many other books. Once 240 pounds and a size 22, she can testify to God’s goodness and healing power. Visit and receive more free health and weight-loss tips.

Effective men do daily what average men do occasionally.

I enjoy reading biographies of great men. Doing so gives me insight into some of the brightest, most creative and successful men who have lived. Some of these men lived long ago, yet their life stories become lessons applicable for today. Other men are still living and willingly giving us the secrets to their achievements.

Not only do we see their genius on display, but we often learn how the traumas of their youth motivated them. These men often share their failures in business and finance, even marriage and family, and provide key insights into overcoming setbacks.

You can gain wisdom through a mentor or through pain.

I suggest you choose mentors. Through the mentorship these biographies of great men have afforded me, I have discovered seven habits of effective men:

1. Effective men steward their time. Most effective men start their work at the same time each day. Most have a reflexive system of managing their routine. For example, Nick Saban, the very effective football coach, has mastered the proficient use of his time. Read this article to see what I mean.

2. Effective men are constant learners. The greatest habit I ever developed in my life is reading one chapter of Proverbs each day. I learned this from the very effective Zig Ziglar. He valued it so much that he created an audio version for us. (Available here.)

3. Effective men speak positively. The science of positive attitudes and speech confirms it has incredible results on our health, wealth and longevity. Yet some men haven’t mastered this simple trait. I struggled with a speech impediment as a child, so speaking is very important to me. Words matter, and for me to be effective I must give careful consideration to what I am saying and how I say it. Interestingly, Jesus actually is a great example of this when He said, “These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.”

4. Effective men focus on details. Small things matter, and small things overlooked are often the destroyer of greater things. Focusing on the details makes all the difference. I have known very gifted men who were sloppy in the details. Their success was constantly undermined by their lack of attention to detail. You cannot expect an excellent life with 80 percent effort.

5. Effective men pray. The greatest habit of a man is to embrace the isolation of prayer. God relates to men in the daily commute. As you’re going to work, pray about the challenges that you are facing—the finances, the sales, your productivity. As you leave work, pray about your home, for your wife and over your children. I am going to quote an unlikely source for this point: “I’m a busy guy, but I set aside quiet time every morning and every evening to keep my equilibrium centered on my own path” (Donald Trump).

6. Effective men exercise. The physical body is a machine—a remarkable machine—that houses who we are. We must invest in it. We must care for it. It won’t last forever, but it is vital for now. I continue to resist the effects that travel and a busy schedule have on my body. I want to be in the best physical health I can be in my 50s. Yes, it is hard, but if I am going to accomplish my purpose in life, I need to be strong for another 30 years.

7. Effective men rest. God established it, even commanded it. It is as vital for your effectiveness as breathing—it is called rest. Fatigue is the greatest threat to your future. When you are tired, you let your guard down in decision-making. When you are tired, you are not focused on details, you do not control your words and may say things you will regret. When you are tired, you are not creative. When you are tired, you are vulnerable to a spiritual attack. Never make a permanent decision when you are tired.

So how about it, men? What are some of the best lessons you’ve learned? What effective habits have you noticed in other successful men? What effective habits do you need to work on?

Share a statement with us—you will encourage other men.

For the original article, visit . FivestarMan was founded in 2008 by Neil Kennedy. Kennedy has passionately promoted God’s Word for 25-plus years of ministry. He is known for practically applying biblical principles that elevate people to a new level of living. As a business, church, ministry and life consultant, Kennedy has helped others strategize the necessary steps to reach their full potential.

More of you read my last post than anything else I’ve written here. That was a surprise.

Here is part 2, with 10 suggestions (not commandments) for the first conversation with your pastor about Israel:

1. Rather than preach at him/her, engage in a friendly dialogue. I doubt that you can out-preach your pastor anyway. So instead, be ready to listen and learn, as well as share your view. (See Romans 12:16: “Do not be wise in your own opinion” [NKJV].)

2. Focus on just a few passages of Scripture that relate directly to the subject. I suggest that you ask your pastor about his view on Romans 11. There’s a chance he’s studied the chapter in-depth, but many pastors have never preached on the passage, let alone studied it thoroughly.

Even many evangelical commentators who believe God has cast way Israel once and for all get stumped when they read Romans 11. Their explanations sound confusing, or they simply contradict what they have written elsewhere on other passages related to Israel. You may want to look at some of these Bible commentaries, especially those your pastor consults with.

3. Suggest reliable resources. These include books, articles, recordings, etc., that present biblically sound teaching on Israel. Your pastor probably has particular authors or pastors he likes, so you might want to ask him who those people are and then look up what they say about Israel. A simple Google search with the author’s name in quotes, plus search terms such as “Israel,” “Jews,” “theology” or “eschatology” will turn up a lot of interesting material written by those authors.

In addition to teachers your pastor may mention, you can also search for materials from respected leaders, such as Jack Hayford, Chuck Smith, John MacArthur, Arnold Fruchtenbaum, Don Finto and Dan Juster, to name several. On our own website, , there are several articles and sermons on Israel. But remember, not everything you read on the Internet is fact.

If your pastor would be interested in my perspective, having lived in Israel for 30 years, you could suggest that he have a look at my message “The Role of the Jewish People in God’s Purposes.” I gave this talk at the Christ at the Checkpoint Conference, held in Bethlehem in March of 2012. You can find it here.

4. Avoid political debate as much as possible. Politics is a controversial subject in general, let alone the sensitive subject of the Arab-Israeli conflict.

5. If the issue of Israel’s “unjust” treatment of Arabs arises, I suggest you leave that subject for a possible follow-up meeting. For now, I would humbly mention that God doesn’t save us based on our righteousness: “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). Paul also says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9) There is also a passage that specifically speaks about God’s plan to bring his people back to the land without them having earned that right, nor does God bless them in this way because they met the pre-requisite of saving faith. We find this in Ezekiel 36:23-27:

“And I will sanctify My great name, which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst; and the nations shall know that I am the LORD,” says the Lord GOD, “when I am hallowed in you before their eyes. For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.  I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.” 

6. If your pastor doesn’t agree with you on Israel, don’t threaten to leave. The Lord might have you in that congregation for many purposes other than changing the congregation’s view of Israel.

7. If possible, help make a way for your pastor to visit Israel. It would be great if he could join a tour led by a Christian leader who has a solid understanding of Israel.

8. Be supportive, and do not share with others your conversation without his permission. He may become defensive if he feels you will speak to people who are judgmental. If you are part of a group of fellow Israel-supporters, make sure you don’t talk negatively about your pastor in conversation or in “prayer.” Affirm your pastor when possible. And if he mentions something enlightening about Israel in a message, mention that you appreciate what he shared.

9. Be patient. See Ecclesiastes 7:8: “The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.”

10. Follow up. If you feel that there is openness for a follow-up conversation, suggest another meeting at his convenience. Perhaps waiting another month will give your pastor enough time to pray and look at the materials you’ve provided. (Others in the congregation likely have given him other materials also, and he may have a stack of them on his desk!)

One final thing: Paul writes concerning the subject of Israel, “I do not what you to be ignorant of this mystery” (Rom. 11:25, NIV). So don’t pretend that you’ve got it all figured out. And knowing this, don’t expect your pastor to have complete clarity on Israel either. “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known” (1 Cor. 13:12, NKJV).

Ultimately, it’s God’s Spirit who reveals all truth. We are only His instruments. As you prepare to speak with your pastor, pray for the Holy Spirit to download supernatural insight.

I’m sure I’ve missed some other ways to have a constructive conversation with your pastor about Israel. Have you had such a conversation? Did it go well? Were there things you would do differently if you could have that conversation all over again? What suggestions would you make to the readers of my blog? Leave your comments.

For the original article, visit .

It’s such a privilege to get to share my thoughts each week in Standing With Israel for Charisma Media.

Throughout the week, I think about what I want to share, and it’s always my hope to write something thoughtful and uplifting. My preference is to pen comments that celebrate God and encourage readers in their faith.

But all too often, the reality of life here in Israel compels me to use this “bully pulpit” to shine the light on other subjects that may have escaped the attention of readers who love and care about Israel.

Such is the case again this week.

Learn Your History

I celebrated my birthday a few days ago. I can hardly believe it has now been 20 years since I graduated high school. As I rapidly approach that dreaded age of 40, it finally hit me: I’m getting old.

But with age comes wisdom—hopefully—and the ability to put the news in some historical context.

Yesterday, as I watched President Obama drone on and on about his thoughts on “the war on terror” winding down, this “age” thing of mine kicked in. I knew, instinctively, that nothing he was saying was of any real consequence. It wouldn’t result in any new policies or set any new agenda. It was sort of a “placeholder” speech that I’ve seen many presidents deliver over the years, only to be forgotten by the time they exit the stage.

President Obama once again said he’s pushing for peace between Israelis and Palestinians because it could “help reshape attitudes in the region.” Clearly his “age” thing isn’t working as well as mine. Clearly he has forgotten his Middle East history.

Israel made peace with Egypt; that didn’t change the hatred of Israel in this region. Israel made peace with Jordan; that didn’t change the hatred of Israel in this region. Israel signed the Oslo Peace Accords with the Palestinians; that didn’t change the hatred of Israel in this region.

So, What’s He Talking About?

As President Obama was speaking in Washington, his secretary of state, John Kerry, was in Israel again, also showing his lack of historical perspective.

Kerry once again called on Israel to “compromise” in order to restart peace talks with the Palestinians. “Compromise”? What does that mean?

We compromised when we pulled out of Gaza; that got us nowhere. We compromised when we pulled out of Southern Lebanon; that got us nowhere.

So, what kind of compromise does he want?

While he was calling on us to “compromise” with the Palestinians, their leader, Mahmoud Abbas, was more detailed about just what he wants from the Israelis. He wants us to stop any building in disputed territories and … wait for it … he wants us to free Palestinian terrorists from Israeli prisons!

Oh, and those are just his pre-conditions before he’ll agree to sit down for new peace talks. Is that the kind of compromise that Kerry is talking about?

Londonistan

Kerry wasn’t the only visiting diplomat putting his foot in his mouth in Jerusalem yesterday. The British foreign secretary, William Hague, also graced us with his presence.

Hague used his visit as an opportunity to lecture Israel about why attitudes toward the Jewish state are souring in the U.K. He says it’s because we keep building “settlements.”

It was tragically ironic that Hague made those statements only 24 hours after a British soldier was hacked to death with a machete, in London, as the killers chanted “Allahu akbar.”

Clearly Hague was not fazed by this latest jihadi attack on his own soil. Clearly, the British remain in denial that Muslim terrorists don’t need excuses like “settlements” to carry out their murderous rampages. Was the British army base in London a settlement? If not, then what could have motivated these killers?

Hague’s ignorance isn’t surprising, but it is chilling. As his own country is being overrun by fanatical, violent Muslims, he has the audacity to come to Israel to tell us how to run our own nation? Even the liberal commentator Bob Beckel said yesterday that what’s happening in Europe is akin to the Ottoman Empire’s attempt to conquer the continent.

And yet Hague, Kerry and Obama want Israel to “compromise” to give up more land, to sign more meaningless treaties. There’s a war raging all around them, and they think “compromising” is the way to handle it.

Conceding Defeat

During his “terrorism opus” Thursday, President Obama, the so-called “leader of the free world,” actually said, “Neither I, nor any president, can promise the total defeat of terror.”

Well, isn’t that just what you want to hear from the commander-in-chief? Conceding defeat in the midst of the battle—how encouraging!

And this is the guy giving advice to Israel!

Well, Mr. President, Mr. Secretary of State, Mr. Foreign Secretary, with all due respect … you get your own houses in order, you figure out how to stop your own soldiers from being butchered on your own streets—and then perhaps we’ll listen to your advice.

Until then, we’ll be fighting this war in the only way we Israelis know how—to win it!

Chaim Goldberg is the director of media for Maoz Israel and is a weekly columnist for Charisma Media’s Standing With Israel site on .

This is a tough post for me to write. You see, I’ve written hundreds of posts about marriage. However, I came to the startling realization that recently I’ve been writing and speaking about how to have a great marriage, but I haven’t been putting all of it into practice.

Oh, sure, I’ve done a lot of these things. But I have not gone after it with great zeal and passion like I should.

I really feel bad about it. It makes me sad that, over the past year, instead of giving my wife, Susan, my freshest and best, she’s received my leftovers. And there is no excuse for that.

But I had to ask myself “Why?” Well, I didn’t realize it, but there are several things that have kept me from being the kind of husband I need to be to Susan. Here are a few:

• House flood and move. The “My Family Is Houseless but Not Homeless” blog post explains what happened.
• Writing books. I spent quite a bit of time writing the All Pro Dad book that was released last year, and Susan was in the middle of writing her first book, The Passionate Mom.
• Speaking at fatherhood, parenting and marriage conferences and events around the country.
• Financial pressures. Unexpected expenses from our home flood coupled with school and college tuitions consumed much money, time and energy.
• Health challenges with several family members.
• The rut. It’s easy to get stuck in the rut of daily routines and the cares of the world without even realizing it. The rut can keep us from being on the correct relational course.
• Oh, and by the way, I am responsible for serving you and millions of others through Family First and our All Pro Dad, iMOM and Family Minute programs.

So, there you have it. But what am I doing about it? Here is my initial action plan:

1. I’m reviewing several of my blog posts that I think will greatly help me and give me some ideas. The ones I’m reading are:

• 5 Common Mistakes Men Make in Marriage
• 8 Mistakes I’ve Made in Marriage
• Leftovers Again: 4 Ways to Give Your Spouse Your Freshest and Best
• 10 Things Wives Want to Hear from Their Husbands

2. I’m vowing that I will not speak harshly or critically to Susan.

3. I’m putting reminders at the top of my calendar every day of things I need to say to, and do for, Susan. Susan’s “love language” is words of affirmation and encouragement, so I’m going to especially focus on that. My plan is to use sticky notes, texts and face-to-face time to use words to build up and encourage her.

4. I’m going to make date nights with Susan a priority. Some will be scheduled and some will be spontaneous.

5. I’m going to have “service days” for Susan. Yes, we should serve our spouses every day, but a service day will be a day that I am doing anything and everything she wants me to do. For example, yesterday Susan needed to spend the entire day working on a speech she needs to give this week. So I made it a “serve Susan day.” I did laundry, watered the flowers, went to the grocery store, cooked dinner, washed the dogs and brought her refreshments.

That’s my initial plan, but I want to expand it. Would you please share your ideas of other things I can add to my marriage action plan?

Mark Merrill is the president of Family First. For the original article, visit .

Recently, a reader asked me about a problem with nighttime eating:

I can follow the steps and stick with the plan until I get home in the evening. I want to clean out the refrigerator. I eat a lot more when I am at home. I try to practice mindful eating and portion control in the evenings, but I am finding it to be quite challenging. I also tend to eat more at home when I am at my computer and doing schoolwork. Any suggestions on what I should do? I do feel better about myself, though, and I like that. I feel that I am making steps towards my goal.

Here was my response:

It sounds like you are stuck in a pattern where eating is part of your evening routine. Your challenge is to make slight adjustments to your routine so that you won’t sabotage your health plan.

What’s your eating like during the day? Are you eating a balanced diet with fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains in moderation? The reason I ask is because sometimes if your diet is unbalanced or you starve during the day, then you really become unbalanced at night—which sets off cravings. So make sure you are eating foods that supply the nutrients your body needs to function at its best.

Click here for some guidance.

If you do have unhealthy foods that you habitually snack on in the evenings, then keep fruits, vegetables or lean protein easily accessible so that you have something healthy to grab if your body is hungry. Apples, pears, oranges, Greek yogurt mixed with frozen berries, low sodium V-8 juice and mozzarella cheese sticks are choices that can curb hunger.

If you are eating for reasons other than body hunger, then you need to find out why. Are you bored? Lonely? Just eating because the food is there? Whatever the reason is, you need to identify it because then you can think of ways to meet the need without food.

Here are some ideas on what you can do instead of eating in the evenings if you are not hungry:

• Wait 10 minutes. Breathe deeply to relax and meditate on the following Scripture: “For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 14:17). Pray and ask God to fill you with His peace and joy at this moment. Pray for Him to show you the right action to take at this time. It may be hard to do this at first, and this article explains why changing habits can be challenging. But eventually, this behavior can become your new normal with enough practice.

• Brush your teeth after dinner; swish your mouth with minty or intense cinnamon-flavored mouthwash.
• Suck on a hard, sugarless peppermint candy. This is an alternative if you just want a “taste” in your mouth.
• Drink a cup of hot herbal tea with the herb stevia for sweetness. Good choices are peppermint tea (for digestion) or chamomile (if you need to relax). Many grocery stores carry stevia now where sugar is sold.
• Do some simple stretching exercises to relax and unwind. You can get some ideas from YouTube. Alternatively, if you need an energy boost, you can try jumping jacks, squats or kettlebell swings.
• Use aromatherapy, such as scented oils or candles, to help curb food cravings. Best scents are lemon, peppermint or green apple.
• A hot bath using bath salts with the above scents can also help you relax.
• Self-care is a great way to spend the evening. Give yourself a facial, manicure or pedicure.
• Listen to praise music and dance to the Lord.
• Are you tired? Then don’t use food as a means to stay up longer. Go on to bed.

Get creative. Again, it make take time to change your evening pattern, but the effort will be worth it!

P.S. Have you ever started a weight loss program with great enthusiasm—only to lose focus and regain the weight you lost?

Not anymore. To help you stay motivated so you can become a weight-loss success story, I recently published my book, The Weight Loss Scriptures, a 30-day daily devotional, on .

Kimberly Taylor is the author of The Weight Loss Scriptures and many other books. Once 240 pounds and a size 22, she can testify to God’s goodness and healing power. Visit and receive more free health and weight-loss tips.

For the original article, visit .

Here at the National Center for Fathering, we consider it “Father’s Day season” as soon as Mother’s Day is over. Among other things, our staff is finishing up interviews with dads and making arrangements for celebration events in several areas of the country related to our Father of the Year essay contests.

These contests give kids opportunities to write about their dads, and we’re always amazed at the remarkable, heartfelt things they write. We probably don’t pass along the great essays often enough.

So, even though we’re still a month out from Father’s Day, I want to share one girl’s essay to help you start getting in the right frame of mind—not so you can swell up with pride, but so you can make this “season” a time to recommit yourself to be the father your children really need.

As you might know, our purpose is to inspire and equip dads. But I’ll tell you up front—this week is pure inspiration. I think you’ll agree.

In this essay, a sixth-grader named Abigail does a wonderful job of capturing the love and appreciation kids feel for their dads, like what your child surely feels for you.

So, just soak this in today. Abigail writes:

My dad makes me feel loved. I can always count on my dad. He makes me laugh so hard. Most of the time, my dad’s actions speak louder than life.

My dad is a short, stubby man, but his smile goes from the east to the west. He makes really, really bad jokes, but we always laugh. He acts sometimes (imitates) singers and even tries to dance. But he makes his imitations really bad on purpose to make us laugh. He laughs at things I say even if they’re not meant to be funny. That makes me laugh.

My dad has all the qualities of a great guy. He’s so truthful, honorable, and trustworthy. I can always count on him. He even understands what I’m talking about most of the time.

My dad sees everyone for who they are. He won’t judge people but always learns their personalities first. He helps people he doesn’t know, and he’s always nice to strangers. My dad is kind and always helpful.

My dad is awesome, fantastic, and phenomenal. I love my dad. He’s far from perfect, but far past amazing.

Now, after reading this, I was humbled as a dad. And two things came to mind that challenged me.

First, it reminded me that our kids are always watching us. They see the good and the not-so-good in our lives. They know we’re far from perfect. And we never know what will register in their minds as significant or even life-changing. That’s the power and the great responsibility of our modeling.

And second, I hope this draws out the best in you as a dad, like it does in me. Like Abigail’s dad, we make a difference when we make our kids laugh, show kindness to people and prove ourselves to be trustworthy. Our general disposition has a powerful effect on our children—whether they are tiny infants or teens whom we may have to look up to. Be a joyful father, and let it show!

Fatherhood is a high calling, and something to live up to. I hope you’ll find ways to be “far past amazing” for your kids today.

Action Points for Dads on the Journey

• Do something crazy to have fun with your kids and make them laugh. Do karaoke. Start a water fight, or a pillow fight, or a food fight! Play dress-up. Have a whistling contest after eating saltine crackers. Use your own idea. (Then let us know how it went.)
• Write an essay about how much you appreciate each of your children, and show it to them (or save it for Father’s Day).
• What would your children say is your biggest weakness as a dad? (If you don’t know, ask them!) Be intentional about working on that area during the next month … and beyond.
• How do you treat restaurant servers and other people in service positions during day-to-day interactions? Remember, your children are always watching and learning.
• Come up with a “Father’s Day wish list” that includes a lot of activities with family and gifts of time—along with or instead of expensive gadgets.

What challenges you about this essay? Or when have you been inspired or challenged as a dad because of something your child said or wrote to you? Please let us (and other dads) know by leaving a comment below.

Carey Casey is the CEO of the National Center for Fathering (NCF), a nonprofit organization dedicated to changing the culture of fathering in America by enlisting 6.5 million fathers to make the Championship Fathering Commitment. NCF believes every child needs a dad they can count on, and it uses its resources to inspire and equip men to be the involved fathers, grandfathers and father-figures their children need. Subscribe to Casey’s weekly email tip by clicking here: I want tips on how to be a great dad who loves, coaches, mentors and inspires his children.

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