As a woman, you are a powerful enemy against Satan. But, you must be equipped with the right sword. Listen as Lisa Bevere shares how you can fight against gendercide with the power of the Sword of the Spirit.
What will you do the next time you are in a spiritual battle? {eoa}
Second Timothy 1:6-7 (MEV) says, “Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God, which is in you by the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and self-control.”
When a person reads the text, they may ask, “How does a person stir up their spiritual gift?” The Koine Greek word in reference to ‘stir up the gift of God,’ is anazópureó, which means, “to kindle anew, rekindle or resuscitate, in context of a fire.”
The gift in this verse is in reference to a spiritual gift that builds up, edifies and encourages the church by empowering the individual to share God’s work with others, whether Christian or non-Christian. Timothy’s spiritual gift was already within him and was part of his faith similar to his mother and grandmother’s. The prophetic presbytery that laid hands on him identified and confirmed his spiritual gift latent within him, and then Timothy began to walk in its authority (1 Timothy 4:14). Paul was encouraging him to continue to use this gift as he was charged to raise up leaders within the local churches he oversaw.
Paul wanted to remind Timothy to “not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord” (verse 8). Paul was encouraging his spiritual son to preach the gospel as well as to raise up disciples and leaders within the local churches he was entrusted to shepherd. Timothy had to use his spiritual and organizational gifts, keeping the fire of the empowering Holy Spirit lit within him.
With this in mind, here is how you can stir up your spiritual gifts as revealed in 2 Timothy 1 …
This is not an exhaustive list, but its truths are foundational when stirring up your spiritual gift. The purpose of these things is to glorify God and to encourage, edify and comfort His precious bride, the church. Stir up the gifts within you by the power of His Spirit!
Jared Laskey is starting Destiny Open Bible Church in Virginia Beach, VA. He served in the Marine Corps from 2006-2011 and ministers living to see Jesus awaken this generation to the power of His Holy Spirit. You can follow him on twitter @jaredalaskey, or contact him through his website, . He has recently co-authored a book called Veronica’s Hero, which you can find on . The book tells the story of how God worked in a young woman who received news that her husband paid the ultimate sacrifice for his country.
Note: This woman recently attended Mark Virkler’s Dream Interpretation seminar. After hearing him talk about a particular example he shared about healing, the woman approached him and told him what happened to her. This is her story.
In 1969, my adopted dad passed away when I was 2 and my mom got remarried in 1974. I’m not sure of the timeframe that the sexual abuse began with my stepdad, but I was 30 years old when I told my mom about it. I thought that I had forgiven him.
Fast-forward a little over 10 years—we ended up moving out of state. I was cleaning with a lot of products and the stress of moving, putting our house on the market and leaving family and friends caused eczema on my elbows (so I thought).
We rented a house in Virginia and I still had the eczema. The combination of moving again after a year and finding a house didn’t help either. It actually moved from my elbows to my fingers then settled on my right hand below my thumb—a patch the size of half of a dollar bill.
Our house finally sold and we purchased the house we now live in. The stress was gone and I switched to milder cleaning products, hoping that the eczema would go away. It didn’t. This process lasted from 2008 to 2014. I had used creams, steroids, taken pills—none of which helped.
In 2014, I had been learning about roots of sickness in our bodies and realized the possibility of unforgiveness causing my eczema.
My stepdad was having major heart surgery in September 2014. I went up to Maine for three weeks to help my mom with whatever she needed while he was recovering. The night before his surgery, I led him to the Lord. I told him that I loved him and that he was in God’s hands. That night, I truly forgave him. He had a very rough surgery/recovery time but has recovered wonderfully.
Within that three weeks, I noticed that my eczema was getting less and less on my hand. By the time I came home, the eczema was gone. God is so faithful. Today I have no residuals of any eczema. I am totally healed!
And just this year my stepdad apologized and said, “Thank you for forgiving me. I don’t deserve it.” I told him because God has forgiven me much, I needed to forgive him. {eoa}
For the original article, visit .
Where does a pastor go to resign? Where does a minister go to throw in that infamous towel?
Does a missionary need God’s permission to call it quits? What about your own personal ministry?
The answer is a very simple one, and it is the same answer for all four heart-wrenching questions.
There is an answer … you must go to the feet of Jesus.
When a person is worn out, run down and weary in well-doing … it’s time for a long drink of cool and refreshing water from that beloved and restorative fountain that never runs dry.
The water of surrender is the most powerful sip of sustenance one will ever partake of while he or she is in the service of the King. If a sabbatical is long overdue, perhaps your time of recovery will be found when you open the Bible, turn on some worship music and forget everyone else but you and Jesus.
When I just can’t go on, I always go to Him. When I can’t take another step, I walk in His direction. When I can’t take another breath, I breathe in Him. When I don’t know what to say, I speak His Words and not my own.
When I have absolutely nothing left to give, I still have Him. And I have found that He is all I need to make it through another draining day. I have joyfully discovered that resignation is not the answer that will solve any of my ministry issues. The single activity that renews, restores and refreshes is a good dose of splashing in His rejuvenating wine of the Holy Spirit!
So rather than choosing to give in … why don’t you try giving up all that you are to all that He is?
Next time that you are tempted to throw up your hands in frustration … why don’t you throw up your arms in worship instead?
Every person involved in ministry certainly deserves time off and extended days away from the never-ending requirements of people, problems and demands. But there is indeed a place of quiet rest that cannot be found in Hawaii! There is a dining experience that happens not at a 4-star restaurant but at a table where only bread and wine are served. Don’t ignore the exciting fact that time spent in the Son is more rejuvenating than time spent in the sun.
So if you are tempted to turn in your resignation today … think again. Perhaps it would be wiser to take a deep breath and look into the face of the One Who loves you most and knows you best.
Remind yourself that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Remember that He is the One who has called you, and He will also strengthen, establish and confirm you.
Rather than throwing in that towel … why don’t you just cast all your cares upon Him, knowing that He cares for you? {eoa}
Carol McLeod is an author and popular speaker at women’s conferences and retreats, where she teaches the Word of God with great joy and enthusiasm. Carol encourages and empowers women with passionate and practical biblical messages mixed with her own special brand of hope and humor. She has written five books, including No More Ordinary, Holy Estrogen!, The Rooms of a Woman’s Heart and Defiant Joy! Her most recent book, Refined: Finding Joy in the Midst of the Fire, was released last August. Her teaching DVD The Rooms of a Woman’s Heart won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award for excellence in religious programming. You can also listen to Carol’s “A Jolt of Joy” program daily on the Charisma Podcast Network. Connect with Carol or inquire about her speaking to your group at .
Have you not been feeling well lately? Do you have symptoms which don’t seem to go away no matter what you try to do? How do you truly know your body needs to detoxify?
Our bodies are faced with numerous toxins (internal and external) every day and routine cleansing through detox provides a method to “give the body a break” and allows it to recover naturally.
Oftentimes, the body will begin to display symptoms a change is needed. It will naturally speak through various conditions or ailments. Listening to the body is very important, and when symptoms are occurring more frequently, it is probably time to detoxify to live a healthier life!
Let us explore the signs and symptoms involved in this natural process:
1. Lower energy levels – When you wake in the morning with lower energy levels after sleeping through the night, this can be a sign you need to detoxify especially if you stay “drained” through the day.
Drinking caffeine-loaded energy drinks will only exacerbate the problem you are facing. Many of these drinks are loaded with stimulants which in the end will only make you more tired, let alone they are hard on the liver.
If you suffer from lower energy levels, consider doing a colon cleanse, which will help the body to get rid of toxins and body waste. The end result will be the feeling of lightness and better health.
2. Bouts of constipation – Individuals who suffer from bouts of constipation could be showing signs of toxic overload in the body. This symptom is more than likely a “sign” things are not right in the gut. This can happen even if you have increased intake of fiber, followed by plenty of water.
Waste can accumulate in the bowels over time. This can include impacted fecal materials that are not healthy for the body. Constipation can be a sign of a greater issue. Colon cleanses followed by the intake of healthy fruits and veggies (both raw) can give the body what it truly needs. Give the body a break from “unhealthy” foods, such as fried items and processed foods.
3. Inability to focus – Americans are faced with different toxins day in and day out. As the pollutants “build up” in the body, the inability to focus can begin to appear. The body will naturally cry out for help. Toxins, including heavy metals and candida, are removed during a proper colon cleanse.
4. Increased depression – Depression in the body can result from eating the improper foods as well as when the body becomes full of toxins. These bad chemicals will also block the body from receiving the nutrients it so desperately needs. If you feel you are suffering from clinical depression, be sure to consult your primary physician.
5. Weight gain – Weight gain, or the inability to lose needed weight, can also be a sign of the body needing a natural detoxification. Even with adding healthy foods, toxins in the body can keep it from functioning properly. The body must hold the ability to absorb healthy nutrients and minerals. Detoxification may be the key to your success.
6. Inability to sleep – If the body holds an excessive amount of toxins, it may not fully gain the sleep it needs. The “natural sleep cycle” of the body can be affected by the imbalance present within.
Melatonin naturally signals the body to sleep peacefully. If toxins are present, the proper amount of “melatonin release” can be hindered by toxic substances. Therefore, the body does not get the sleep it needs to renew, heal naturally, and rest peacefully on a regular basis.
7. Increased headaches – Sometimes, headaches come from stress, noise, or even allergies. Toxin build-up within the body can also produce symptoms of head pain. For individuals who suffer from daily headaches which have no apparent cause, their bodies may be exhibiting signs of the need to detoxify.
8. Stiff & sore muscles – After a good night’s sleep, each person should wake up to feeling great and ready to start the day. Many wake up after sleeping through the night, only to find they are stiff and sore for no apparent reason. This is a sure sign the body needs to release toxins that become “stored up” within; toxins can also increase the likelihood of developing inflammation.
9. Unclear skin and allergies – The skin that contains blemishes and rashes can be an outward symptom of poisonous build up in the body. Allergies can also be another indication the body displays when it cannot handle more toxins entering. Individuals who try topical solutions with no success probably need to flush the body by detox.
10. Sexual dysfunction – Sexual challenges can also be a sign detox is needed. The body desires to be free of pollutants to function properly, even sexually. Instead of turning to prescriptions, consider a natural solution to improve sexual accomplishments. Detoxification can be the answer to the daily symptoms occurring physically and mentally. Now is the time for a change! {eoa}
Don Colbert, M.D., has been board-certified in Family Practice for over 25 years and practices Anti-Aging and Integrative medicine. He is a New York Times best-selling author of books such as The Bible Cure Series, What Would Jesus Eat, Deadly Emotions, What You Don’t Know May Be Killing You, and many more with over 10 million books sold. He is the Medical Director of the Divine Health Wellness Center in Orlando, Florida, where he has treated over 50,000 patients.
For the original article, visit .
Not knowing exactly why, Verna Linzey felt a strong desperation to pray for her husband, Seaman Second Class Stanford E. Linzey Jr., who was more than 5,000 miles away on June 3, 1942.
Verna, who had taught Stanford, a radioman, about the baptism of the Holy Spirit before he went to war, knelt by the side of their bed and prayed in the Spirit for an hour. Little did she know that Stanford, aboard the USS Yorktown in the South Pacific, had done the same thing simultaneously. Both later said they felt a sense of fear disappear and were filled with a deep abiding peace.
Less than 18 hours later, on June 4, one of the most savage sea battles in naval history broke out, lasting six minutes. Later that day, the Japanese aircraft carrier Hiryu sent bombers and torpedo planes in an effort to destroy the Yorktown. After two torpedo hits, the Yorktown’s captain, Elliott Buckmaster, gave the order to abandon ship.
After many hours of treading water in several inches of oil, the destroyer Balch picked up many of the men including my father. Other ships picked up the remaining men. When my father climbed up the net and onto the deck of the Balch, a voice yelled, “There’s the deacon,” my father’s nickname due to the Bible studies he conducted on the Yorktown. Seven sailors led by my father went to the stern and knelt on the steel deck as my father led them in an open-air prayer service in view of about 700 sailors.
My father had survived the battle, much to the relief of my mother.
In 1954, my father went on to become the first Assemblies of God Navy chaplain to enter Active Duty, and in 1972 was the first Assemblies of God Navy chaplain to attain the rank of Captain.
Verna Linzey later became an evangelical theologian and an ordained minister in the General Council of the Assemblies of God. She also authored many books and is the translator of the book of Proverbs for the Modern English Version of the Bible.
The U.S. naval strike forces which, included three aircraft carriers—the USS Yorktown, the USS Hornet, and the USS Enterprise—sailed within 200 miles northeast of Midway to protect Midway from the attack of the Japanese fleet. When the carriers sailed northwest toward their destination, an eerie sense a sense of despair filled the Yorktown. Many sailors felt it without saying much. This was when my father felt it and both my parents had the incredible experience of praying simultaneously. His fear then departed and he no longer feared death, and my mother’s heavy burden to pray for him miraculously lifted.
The Battle of Midway was the turning point on the Pacific front in World War II. United States naval strike forces with bombers and torpedo planes dealt a decisive blow to the Imperial Japanese navy carrier task force.
The Imperial Japanese navy lost four large aircraft carriers which were among the six that attacked Pearl Harbor. The United States lost the USS Yorktown (CV 5) and the USS Hammann (DD 412).
On June 4, 2016, the USS Midway hosted the 74th Anniversary of the Battle of Midway. My mother and my late father were honored at the event. The Navy assigned my mother an escort—AW2 Jonathan Howland, USN. I accompanied her.
RADM John McLaughlin, USNR (Ret.) was the master of ceremonies as the president and chief executive officer of the USS Midway Museum. After he gave the welcome, the invocation was delivered by Captain Terry Corgon, USN, Chaplain, US THIRD Fleet.
The opening remarks were given by VADM Nora Tyson, Commander, US THIRD Fleet. The address was given by Ian W. Toll, award winning author of historical military books. He retold the story of how the United States won the Battle of Midway. {eoa}
Summertime means fun time. For kids, school’s out and free time is in.
For families, special memories, trips and other adventures will be made.
For men, the juggling act continues keeping the balls at work in the air, while mixing in some time away from the office for some time with the family.
For Satan, summer breaks provide ample opportunity to ramp up temptation, distraction, flirtation and ultimately destruction.
For many churches, regular meetings press the pause button and men’s groups take a summer break … Wait…
They WHAT?
While the enemy deploys a destructive arsenal with all the pleasures the world and our minds can conceive, support from group meetings goes on holiday during the summer months. Obviously, this is a huge mistake.
“And let us consider how to spur one another to love and to good works. Let us not forsake the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but let us exhort one another, especially as you see the Day approaching” (Heb. 10:24-25, MEV).
Our society often turns summer breaks into a vacation from God. There’s no vacation from temptation. It’s piled on during the summer where beach-body diets lead to short skirts, swimsuits, exotic locations and drinking. These all add up to plenty of opportunities to let the eye go wandering. Our guards are down; our defenses are low. And the enemy is waiting for the perfect time to fire a missile at your life, because he never gives up.
“When the devil had ended all the temptations, he departed from Him until another time” (Luke 4:13, MEV).
Temptation alone is not to be feared, but it’s what you do with it that matters.
“But each man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lust and enticed. Then, when lust has conceived, it brings forth sin; and when sin is finished, it brings forth death” (James 1:14-15, MEV).
Even Jesus took vacations, withdrawing from the others. But his purpose was to reconnect with God, resist temptation and restore himself for the adventure of his ministry. But he never gave up meeting with his disciples.
Perhaps the most important time to continue meeting is during the summer!
When men give up meeting, they take a hiatus from spiritual growth, separate from their accountability partners, interrupt their daily quiet habits, and remove themselves from the support system put in place by God.
The Bible compares the church—groups of those who follow Jesus—to the “body.” If one of you takes a break from meeting, the rest of the body suffers as well. Each plays a role in the health of the whole body.
“The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ No, those parts of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. And those parts of the body which we think are less honorable, upon these we bestow more abundant honor. And our less respectable parts are treated with much more respect, whereas our more respectable parts have no need of this. But God has composed the body, having given more abundant honor to that part which lacks it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that the parts should have the same care for one another. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts rejoice with it” (1 Cor. 12:21-26, MEV).
So take a page from Jesus and use your vacation to strengthen the “body,” your body and everybody in your life. Here’s how:
What you can do now—give yourself a new spin for the summer. If you haven’t already, take our FREE trial and pick out a video from the Media Vault. Call a friend or two to watch it with you, and set a time to talk weekly, text and pray daily about it together. Then, you will come back from summer better and stronger than ever.
Enjoy your summer, but don’t let it be a vacation from God. {eoa}
Kenny Luck is the president and founder of Every Man Ministries. As the former men’s pastor at Saddleback Church in California and current leadership pastor at Crossline Community Church, Kenny has found the proven way to improve men’s ministries around the world. Sleeping Giant is this blueprint, and gives men the tools they need to lead and understand their own men’s ministry. Watch Kenny’s teachings at and start your men’s group today! Follow Every Man Ministries now on Facebook, Twitter (@everymm,) and YouTube.
For the original article, visit .
I think one of the most challenging parts of leading a fit lifestyle has nothing to do with the tough sweat sessions and dietary discipline, but with our frustration when progress screeches to a halt.
After months of consistent improvements, from the way we look and feel to how much we can lift and squat, we often find ourselves face to face with a formidable plateau, and we wonder where we went astray.
In last week’s post, I discussed Culprit No. 1 for dreaded run-ins with plateaus, which is subpar nutrition. This week, I’m going to shed some light on Culprit No. 2:
Subpar Sleep
We all know that adequate sleep is a necessity. When we don’t get enough of it, our stress levels shoot up, our muscles don’t rebuild as well, our bodies have less time to recover from strenuous activity, we experience brain fog and irritability, and … we get hungrier.
While you’re sleeping, your body stabilizes two of the hormones that control hunger, ghrelin and leptin. Studies have shown a correlation between less sleep and reduced levels of leptin (appetite suppressant) and elevated levels of ghrelin (appetite stimulant).[1] Participants in one particular study who had their sleep restricted found themselves craving carbohydrate-rich foods, in particular. In other words, if you’re not getting the recommended hours of sleep per night, you could be setting yourself up for weight gain.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 35 percent of people are sleep deprived. That’s nearly the same statistic for obesity. Coincidence? I think not.
Research published in the Annals of Internal Medicine found that getting less than seven hours of sleep per night can undo the benefits of dieting. In the study, participants followed different sleep schedules. When they slept enough, half of the weight they lost was from fat. When they cut back on sleep, however, the amount of fat was cut by 50 percent, despite the fact they were on the same diet. In addition, the dieters felt significantly hungrier, were less satisfied after meals, and lacked energy to exercise.
We all know the feeling of a poor night’s sleep. We’re exhausted. Our heads hurt. Our limbs feel like lead. We’re moody. And it turns out, our fat cells feel just as terrible.
University of Chicago researchers call our sleep-deprived state “metabolic grogginess.”
Within just four days of sleep deprivation, your body’s ability to use insulin properly gets disrupted; its sensitivity can drop by more than 30 percent! When your insulin is functioning correctly, fat cells remove fatty acids and lipids from your blood stream and prevent storage. When you become more insulin resistant, fats (lipids) circulate in your blood and pump out more insulin. This excess insulin eventually ends up storing fat in all the wrong places, such as your liver. The end result of this is obesity and diseases like diabetes.
Not only will a lack of sleep increase your appetite for not-so-healthy foods and upset our fat cells, it can also sabotage our workouts. Scientists from Brazil found that sleep debt decreases protein synthesis (your body’s ability to make muscle), causes muscle loss, and can lead to a higher incidence of injuries.
The moral of today’s scientific and hopefully eye-opening story is that there is a definite connection between sleep and weight gain. If you’ve noticed an inexplicable standstill in your fitness, it may be time to have an honest look at your sleep patterns. It could be that your ticket off the plateau is just a long, deep snooze away!
Here are a few quick tips for getting a better night’s sleep:
I hope you’ve found today’s post helpful! Do you have any sleeping tips or suspect a lack of sleep is hindering your fitness? If so, leave a comment below or tweet me @dandersontyler. {eoa}
Diana Anderson-Tyler is the author of Creation House’s Fit for Faith: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Total Fitness, Perfect Fit: Weekly Wisdom and Workouts for Women of Faith and Fitness, and her latest book, Immeasurable: Diving into the Depths of God’s Love. Her popular website can be found at , and she is the owner and a coach at CrossFit 925.
Several years ago, a couple I had never met before came to our office. The gentleman and his wife were old friends of several people in our company and had stopped by for a quick visit and to update the staff on what they are currently doing for a living.
They traveled with two very well-dressed young men who stood near them in the background and maintained full attention. Except for their youth, these men looked very much like the Secret Service men who guard the president of the United States.
That afternoon, one of the editorial assistants in our magazine division had warned me that she was bringing visitors to our office, but that they were not who they appeared to be. Although I was prepared to greet the guests, I was taken aback when the gentleman extended his hand with a warm smile.
Not only did he look exactly like former President Bush, but he had also mastered the president’s voice inflections, body language, gestures and laughter. His wife exuded the grace and poise of Laura Bush. It was an amazing likeness, and although we knew he was simply an entertainer impersonating the president, he was so convincing we had to remind ourselves that he was not who he appeared to be.
Yes, he looked like the president, talked like the president, laughed like the president and moved liked the president, but he was NOT the president. He was an actor who was skilled in his craft and had studied the president carefully so that he could flawlessly mimic him.
Just as our visitor was not what he appeared to be, there are some ministers being held up as leaders in the body of Christ who are not what they appear to be. They appear to be true men and women of God serving as apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers. But the reality is that they are merely entertainers impersonating the real thing.
Jesus cautioned us to beware of those who appear to be sheep but who are actually wolves in sheep’s clothing and told us that we would recognize them by their fruit (Matt. 7:15-20).
Today we see many standing in pulpits across the land who are preaching what they claim is the gospel and saying that they follow Jesus but who are really serving themselves and not the true Jesus of the Bible.
The apostle Paul warned us about being beguiled by the serpent as Eve was and following preachers who preach about “another Jesus” or “a different gospel,” causing us to move away “from the simplicity that is in Christ” (2 Cor. 11:3-4).
How can we tell the difference between the sheep and the wolves? Jesus said that we “will know them by their fruits” (Matt. 7:16). Signs and wonders, as great as these are, are not the signs of authentic Christianity. Satan can also perform signs and wonders! Remember that Pharaoh’s magicians were able to duplicate some of the signs God did through Moses (Ex. 7:8-12). Jesus told those who had performed great works in His Name, but who did not know Him intimately, to depart from Him because they were workers of iniquity (Matt. 7:21-23).
Signs and wonders will follow those who believe; however, the mark of authentic Christianity is not the signs, but the fruit of the Spirit and the fruit of changed lives. The apostle Paul contrasts this fruit with that which comes from carnality (Gal. 5). In essence, those who belong to Christ will reflect Christ and live holy, selfless and pious lives void of sin and depravity. They will not build their own kingdoms for their own glory while practicing hidden sin, but will put to death their own vain ambition, greed and idolatry for the glory and purposes of God.
Though we pray for the godly leaders our heavenly Father has placed over us in the body of Christ, we must guard our wallets and our hearts from those who would prey on us for their own glorification while they dishonor God. Beware of the impersonators. Save your allegiance for God. Let HIS kingdom come, and HIS name be praised above all others. {eoa}
Prayer Power for the Week of June 5, 2016
This week as you draw closer to the Lord, pray that He will burn His Truth into your heart so that you will be able to discern any imposter preaching a false gospel about a false Christ. Pray for revival at home and abroad so that the fire of the Holy Spirit would burn out dross and all impurities from our lives and create a burning desire to see people saved, healed, delivered from bondage and free to worship God in spirit and truth. When you pray for our nation, remember Israel and ask God to give us wisdom regarding our dealings with other countries. Continue to pray for discernment when voting in the upcoming elections (John 4:23; 2 Cor. 11:3-4; Gal. 5).
“Is it possible that I could be doing certain things for the women I encounter each day, but I’m not doing them for my wife?”
The short answer is yes, but let’s talk more about the reasons why this might be happening.
You don’t need to read this article to know that marriage relationships are typically very strong at the beginning. The feeling of fresh love is in the air, the desire for intimacy is strong and the overall feelings from each spouse are mutual.
That’s old news for most of us.
But here’s where it gets interesting. Here’s where the true challenge comes up in marriage. Ready?
Time. As time passes, things happen, stories unfold and the relationship takes its hits. Most couples can expect this, but few know what’s actually happening or, worse, how to resolve it.
Here are 3 reasons why men start to take a back seat in their marriage and forget what is most important:
1. Routine. Routines in marriage are going to happen. It’s inevitable. But the couples that are aware of it are the ones who have the best chance of survival. As time goes on and routines take more and more shape, it’s important to not forget what is important to each spouse and take action in those areas often.
2. Assumptions. We all know the saying about assumptions, so I won’t go there, but it does hold true. Newly married couples love to do wonderful things for their spouse, but after a few years, those things tend to fade.
Assumptions are different than routines. An assumption means you know what would be nice to do for your spouse and then assume they don’t need it. Or assume that doing it last week was enough. What we need to do is assume that the love tank is always going dry and therefore always needs to be filled up!
3. A rough past. Rough circumstances in a marriage can be the worst effect of all. Routines can be adjusted, assumptions can take place because of a lack of understanding or communication, but a rough past can put a large “STOP” sign in front of any nice gestures to your spouse.
In other words, you know what your spouse needs, but you refuse to give it to them. Too many past issues have come up and too many are unresolved.
All of these scenarios can be resolved, but they can have some major negative effects in the meantime. One of the worst effects is doing things for other women that you won’t do for your wife anymore, either by choice or simple neglect.
Because of the issues mentioned above, here are 8 things you might be doing for women other than your wife:
Let me also insert here that doing these things for other women is not wrong, because we should always strive to be respectful to all women. The issue is when you are treating other women better than you are treating your wife. Your wife should be getting this kind of treatment first and foremost.
1. Holding the door open. You may call it old-school or cliche, but holding the door open for your wife will mean a lot to her. Don’t just step up when you see a stranger coming or a co-worker in need; make sure your wife gets even better treatment.
2. Thanking them for their help or services. It might be easy to thank the nice woman at the checkout line or even affirm a co-worker for their help, but your wife also needs to know her help is noticed and appreciated! Pay attention to what your wife does for you and speak up in thankfulness more often.
3. Valuing their choices and opinions. You may not always agree with your wife’s choices or opinions, but as her husband, you need to take more effort in understanding why she might be making those decisions. Think about some recent conversations with other women. We’re you more likely to agree or disagree with them? Be honest.
4. Admiring their beauty. When you are away from your wife, are you able to keep your eyes and heart in check? When you see an attractive woman, are you more likely to look away or look in places that you shouldn’t? Those answers are for you, but I want you to consider why you don’t look at your wife that way. Why isn’t she your standard? Make her your standard of physical and emotional beauty, and you might have an easier time when you’re not around her.
5. Thinking before you speak. When I’m at work and I need to approach a woman, I tend to think about my choice of words before I speak. And not only that, but I tend to choose my words more carefully during conversation. Is this the case with your wife? Strive to be a mature husband who thinks before he speaks.
6. Honestly listening. Staying in line with No. 5, listening skills are a must for a great marriage. Think about the last time you were with friends. Were you more likely to be rude and not engage in listening to the conversations? Or were you listening intently so that you would be part of the group. Well, make sure your wife is part of the group. Make sure you are paying attention to her words and responding to them, and not just waiting for your turn to talk.
7. Smiling. Yes, smiling. Around friends or even co-workers, I can find myself keeping a consistent smile on my face. Not to look weird, but to make the other person feel welcomed and comfortable. Do you do this around your wife? Think about keeping a smile on your face the next time you have a regular conversation with her. When she asks why you’re smiling, tell her how much you love her!
8. Having fun. If I happen to be in a situation where I start running into the same woman day after day or week after week, I can start to get comfortable with her. Even if I don’t know her, it becomes easy to say hi and then add some little jokes here or there. It seems harmless, but it starts to matter if you’re doing it for them and not your wife. A good marriage can handle a little bit of joking and teasing (within reason). Have fun with your wife again this week.
Dig deep and make sure you are not treating other women better than your wife. Make sure your wife is getting the attention she needs from you. Take action this week.
Question: Which one of these steps do you need to take action on in your own marriage today?
Manturity is a blog built on establishing spiritual maturity in today’s man. The goal is to assist men in building better marriages and help them grow in maturity and explore different aspects of manhood. features new weekly blog posts, daily social-media updates and a powerful resources page. Stay up to date with the Manturity blog communities on Facebook and Twitter.
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