Caution: Being spiritually gifted can be hazardous to your spiritual health. Why? Because your success might lead you to conclude you have God’s approval.

The last thing you or I want is to become yesterday’s man or woman. No one wants to be a has-been. No one needs to be that.

There are two kinds of yesterday’s man or woman. The first is when the leader is openly put to one side and made to forfeit a ministry; this is when they have been found out and live with disgrace and embarrassment.

The second is when the leader is disapproved of by God but nevertheless continues in ministry. Often, the leader’s followers do not have a clue the leader has lost the conscious approval of God, so they continue on as if nothing happened.

If the Holy Spirit were completely withdrawn from the church today, speaking generally, 90 percent of the work of the church would continue as if nothing happened. This can apply to an individual as well.

Yesterday’s Man

King Saul was rejected by God but remained king of Israel for another 20 years. Only the prophet Samuel knew Saul lost God’s approval.

“The Lord said to Samuel, ‘How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him from ruling over Israel?'” (1 Sam. 16:1a).

The anointing in this case may be defined as experiencing the conscious approval of God. That is what Saul once had but lost. And yet Saul remained king and in that sense was always regarded as God’s “anointed” (1 Sam. 24:6).

As I show in my book The Anointing, “anointing” is a tricky term and can be used in different ways.

Being yesterday’s man or woman has nothing to do with age, being made redundant or retirement. You can be young and be yesterday’s man; Saul was only 40. You can be old and be tomorrow’s man; God did not use Moses until he was 80.

The scary thing about being spiritually gifted is that the gifts and calling of God are “without repentance” (b, KJV)—that is, “irrevocable” (ESV).

Strange as this may seem, it means that godliness will not earn God’s gifting, nor lack of godliness forfeit it.

The gifts are bestowed by God’s will; indeed by the Holy Spirit “to each one individually as he wills” (1 Cor. 12:11). And yet because one’s giftedness or success may flourish, such a person might assume he or she still has God’s approval.

One might easily conclude, “God must be pleased with me or He would not bless me as He has.”

You may have heard this expression: “You can always tell a successful man, but you can’t tell him much.”

I once cautioned a spiritual leader about something that worried me. He replied, “Why should I listen to you, when you only reach hundreds in Westminster Chapel, but I reach thousands?”

That is why some people misunderstand God’s ways. They assume success to be proof of God’s blessing and approval.

I had two major shocks when I was young in ministry; both pertained to spiritual heroes that I almost worshipped. The first was a very powerful evangelist who came to my old church in Ashland, Kentucky, every year. I was enthralled by him. I never witnessed such anointing, persuasiveness and sense of the fear of God as would fall on our congregation when he preached. It was extraordinary.

I learned later that the whole time he was at our church he lived a double life—namely, of adultery. A woman who was not his wife followed him wherever he went and was staying in the same hotel while he preached with such success. He was later found out and lost his credentials.

The other shock came when I had a vision of Jesus looking at my district superintendent who came to preach for me at my first pastorate in Palmer, Tennessee.

Months before, my baptism of the Holy Spirit was accompanied by a vision of Jesus. For several months afterward, a vision of the Lord’s face looking at someone would appear, and I could tell the spiritual state of that person by the way the Lord looked at them. To my utter astonishment, the Lord looked at my district superintendent with intense anger and disapproval.

I was puzzled. How could this be? I regarded this man as one of the godliest men alive. I told no one about this. But 12 years later, I learned that this man was having an affair at that very time. He was later found out, lost his credentials and died in shame.

Here is what sometimes happens with those who fall but continue on in ministry. First, they give into temptation—usually regarding sex, money or truthfulness. With men, it is often connected to pornography.

They initially fear they will lose their power. But they notice that their anointing to preach, make money, heal or prophesy remains. They then say to themselves, “God must be pleased with me—making me an exception—or He would not continue to bless my gifting.”

They take success as a sign that character is not what matters; it is the gift that matters. They therefore feel no conviction of sin or guilt for their double life. A compromising lifestyle becomes the norm.

Some get caught, some don’t—that is, for a while. Numbers 32:23b (MEV) says, “Be sure your sin will find you out.” It is only a matter of time until this haunting warning comes to pass.

Jesus goes a step further in Luke 12:2-3: “For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light. And what you have whispered in the ear in private rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.”

After being rejected by God, Saul found out that he still had the gift of prophesying. This probably convinced him he could disregard Samuel’s pronouncement.

Samuel told him that God rejected him (1 Sam. 13:13-14). But Saul was unteachable and unreachable. And yet the extraordinary gift to prophesy continued to flourish (1 Sam. 10:9-12).

Lo and behold, on his way to kill young David, Saul prophesied. And lest you think this was something he worked up on his own, it is written that the Spirit of God actually lay behind his prophesying.

“The Spirit of God came upon him also. And he went on and he also prophesied … Therefore they say, ‘Is Saul also among the prophets?'”(1 Sam. 19:23b-24).

How does one explain this? I answer: First, the gifts are irrevocable, and second, God’s ways are higher than our ways (Isa. 55:9). There are things about God and His ways I have not been able to figure out. I have to accept what is written in His Word.

Gifting may come to us at two levels: common grace and the Holy Spirit.

First, our gifting may come by God’s common grace—His special grace in nature. It is called “common” not because it is ordinary but because it is given commonly to all. It is a creation gift. It explains one’s natural talent, charisma, I.Q.—the way God made us.

Keep in mind, this is apart from conversion or spirituality. Unsaved people have this. If such people are converted and later fall into sin, the Holy Spirit could be withdrawn from them and they would continue as though nothing happened. How is that possible? Because they are so gifted.

The second gifting is what God imparts by the Holy Spirit: one’s supernatural anointing or gifts of the Spirit. They are irrevocable. But God puts us on our honor to honor Him by obedience, gratitude and holy living. Sadly some abuse this privilege and become yesterday’s man or woman.

Some get caught sooner than later. Others—like Saul—are found out openly later than sooner.

Warning Signs

How do we become yesterday’s man or woman? Here are five ways:

By not being accountable. King Saul was supposedly accountable to Samuel. He owed everything to Samuel. But he foolishly thought he didn’t need Samuel any longer, as if he had outgrown Samuel.

Here are the famous words of yesterday’s man: “I’m accountable only to God.”

I reply: No one is that spiritual. We all need to be accountable to those who know us well and are not afraid to warn us, ask us pointed questions, know where we are at any moment and lovingly but impartially warn us when we need it.

I warned a man who was supposed to be accountable to me. He stopped returning my phone calls and answering my letters. Once I eventually caught up with him, I told him, “You are going to become yesterday’s man.”

Like Saul, he was unteachable and unreachable. His gift flourished. That was several years ago. I’m sorry, but he clearly became yesterday’s man.

By taking ourselves too seriously. People who take themselves very seriously are hard to reach. They are almost always self-centered, narcissistic, closed to criticism and convinced they are special to God: that God will let them off the hook should they err.

This was King Saul. In 1 Samuel 13:9b, he ordered, “Bring here to me the burnt offering.” This was something only the priest should do (Num. 18), but Saul obviously reasoned, “I’m king, aren’t I?”

He elevated himself to a level to which he was not called. People who take themselves too seriously reckon they can do anything and everything. Saul was king but not qualified to be a priest as well.

By finding an excuse to cover our wrongdoing. When caught offering the burnt offering, Samuel asked Saul: “What have you done?” (1 Sam. 13:11).

The king justified his mistake: “I saw that the people were scattered from me … ‘The Philistines will come down now upon me to Gilgal, and I have not yet appeased the face of the Lord” (1 Sam. 13:11-12a). Saul sounded pious!

Some use a theological excuse to cover a moral failure. Some even develop a pious air and convince people of their sincerity.

By blaming others for our own folly. Saul blamed Samuel: “You did not come to the appointed assembly days, and the Philistines are gathering themselves together at Mikmash” (1 Sam. 13:11b).

King Saul used this to excuse himself and blame Samuel. Not only that, but Saul claimed he didn’t really want to do what he did: “So I forced myself, and offered the burnt offering” (1 Sam. 13:12).

The NIV translates his excuse as “I felt compelled.” Imagine this—being compelled to go against Scripture.

Beware of anyone who justifies their departure from Scripture by claiming to hear from God. The Holy Spirit—who wrote the Bible (2 Tim. 3:15, 2 Pet. 1:21)—will never lead anyone to go against what He has written.

By going against Holy Scripture. Here is how to get on the fast track to become yesterday’s man or woman: underestimate God’s Word and go against it.

What Saul did was to break the ceremonial Law. The Law is threefold: moral (the Ten Commandments), civil (the way the people of Israel should govern themselves) and ceremonial (how God wants to be worshipped). That bit of the ceremonial Law may seem insignificant.

But Jesus said, “Until heaven and earth pass away, not one dot or one mark will pass from the law until all be fulfilled” (Matt. 5:18).

Lest you think Saul’s sin was a one-off incident that should be overlooked, King Uzziah committed the same sin and was afflicted with leprosy (2 Chron. 26:18-21).

Psalm 138:2b says, “You have exalted your word above all your name.” This shows how important God’s word is to Himself!

No one likes the taste or smell of spoiled fruit. But that is what we are if we justify an unholy walk with God. He will find us out.

R.T. Kendall was the pastor of Westminster Chapel in London for 25 years. He is the author of several books, including his most recent book, Whatever Happened to the Gospel? (Charisma House).

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As the pastor of a Primitive Baptist church, my friend Charles Carrin was an ardent cessationist and entrenched five-point Calvinist for many years. He subscribed—as all cessationists do—to what I believe to be an unbiblical view: that God by His own will “ceased” long ago to deal with His people in a direct manner supernaturally. No more supernatural healings. No visions. No direct revelation. None of the gifts of the Holy Spirit in operation.

Cessationists do believe in the supernatural occurrences in Scripture, of course, but they have no expectation that God will intervene supernaturally today except, perhaps, through providence. But the notion of the gifts of the Spirit being in operation today, as in 1 Corinthians 12:10-12, is out of the question.

Even so, one day my Baptist friend prayed something like this: “Lord, I want to be filled with Your Holy Spirit, but I have three conditions: I don’t want to shout, I don’t want to be spectacular and I don’t want to speak in tongues. Now, with that in mind, You may proceed.”

Nothing happened.

As it turns out, he was also a chaplain at the federal prison in Atlanta. He was assigned to a man who had been converted and filled with the Holy Spirit after being imprisoned. Whereas Charles went weekly to minister to this man, the prisoner began to minister to Charles. It is one of the most amazing reversals of role I have come across.

Little by little Charles became hungry for God in a fresh way. After a long while he became willing to ask this prisoner to lay hands on him—with the prison guards watching. He invited the Holy Spirit to fall on him without any preconditions. He was filled with the Holy Spirit that day and was never to be the same again. He was eventually forced to resign his church.

Let’s Be Fair With Cessationists

One should never underestimate our cessationist friends’ love for God, Scripture, sound teaching and holy living. They are the salt of the earth. Some of them are among the greatest vanguards of Christian orthodoxy.

I repeat: They certainly do accept the miraculous in the Bible. They simply do not believe that God reveals Himself immediately and directly by revelation anymore. God, of course, could do it, they argue; He has simply and sovereignly chosen not to show His power as He did in the earliest church.

The absence of power, therefore, to the cessationist is not owing to our unbelief, lack of faith or expectancy. God Himself decided that kind of power was for the earliest church. Any amount of praying, fasting, intercession and waiting on God will not bring about His power. You cannot twist God’s arm to do what He decreed isn’t going to happen.

Cessationists do not want to appear smug or unreachable; they simply don’t believe the claims of charismatics and Pentecostals who have reportedly seen the miraculous. They are not questioning our honesty; they feel we have been either too optimistic, perhaps gullible, if not actually deceived.

Furthermore, cessationists understandably get turned off by flamboyant healing evangelists who make their extravagant claims. What causes some cessationists to dig in their heels is not only the lack of hard evidence, but also that the claims to healing miracles are so often surrounded with Hollywood-style showmanship and questionable teaching. These television evangelists sometimes appear like move stars who love the attention.

What’s more, those people who are said to be slain in the Spirit and fall backward are also supposedly healed. That is certainly the impression that is given. But when honest skeptics who want to get to the bottom of the claims go back to these same people to interview them, the results are often rather sobering. It often turns out that very few, if any, were actually healed. This scenario has been repeated again and again.

I can truly sympathize with cessationism. It seems to me the extravagant claims and lifestyles of many healing evangelists are far removed from the humility of the early apostles. I also find it disquieting when prominent healing evangelists absolutely forbid people in wheelchairs from being pushed to the front of the auditorium before the services. Ushers are positively told not to let people in wheelchairs be positioned near the stage; it draws attention to them, especially when the handicapped people are not called out to be prayed for.

It wasn’t always this way. In the years between 1949 to 1951, it was very different. I have good reason to believe that healings of crippled people actually took place then. People in wheelchairs were welcomed—and often healed. They often carried their own wheelchairs back to their cars. And they stayed healed.

I will tell you why I believe this. I have personally talked with three men (and others who knew them well) who were very prominent in the healing ministry in the 1950s. They have shown me photographs, letters and testimonies of people who wrote to them. I got close enough to some of these men to know they were not making things up.

What convinced me further is when they also admitted that the healings came to a halt. They were vulnerable to admit to this. It made me feel that the photographs and letters were genuine. But for some reason the miraculous healings diminished in the 1950s, although some of the evangelists did their best to keep praying for people as they had previously done—but with fewer results.

It’s a Hypothesis, Not Dogma

Here is the ultimate truth about all this: Cessationism is a hypothesis. It is not a teaching grounded in Holy Scripture—like the virgin birth, the deity of Christ, the resurrection of Jesus and salvation by the blood of God’s Son. Cessationists have chosen to believe God does not reveal Himself directly and immediately today.

I do think, however, that many cessationists would sincerely welcome supernatural healing if they actually saw a person healed or if they themselves were healed (should they become willing to be prayed for) and remained healed. Most cessationists would be thrilled with a miracle, if indeed it was genuine and they had the undisputed facts before the healing and after the healing.

I know some cessationists become open to the miraculous when one of their own loved ones becomes seriously ill. God sometimes uses a critical illness to get our attention. I don’t mean to be unfair, but there is nothing that changes the mindset of a cessationist like one’s own fatal illness or the serious sickness of a loved one. That often makes them open in a way they would not have been before. General Douglas MacArthur used to say, “There are no atheists in foxholes.” So, too, desperation is something God may use to give us a wake-up call.

But what would worry me is this: if cessationists would be disappointed if the irrefutable evidence of genuine healings came forth. It is surely not good if they turned the hypothesis of cessationism into a dogma and then would resent it if a person were miraculously healed. If only such people would uphold cessationism as plan B in the event God might intervene and show His undoubted power.

Perhaps It’s for Our Good

Sometimes it actually happens—a cessationist is convinced of a miracle and changes his or her views. But not often. Why? I cannot be sure.

But I have my own hypothesis: to test the faith of those who actually see the miraculous but have to enjoy it in relative solitude without their friends being convinced. That solitude can become downright painful—when one’s integrity is questioned and yet one knows for a fact what God did. It’s like the earliest church being convinced of Jesus’ resurrection, whether they saw the resurrected Christ or because of the immediate and direct witness of the Spirit. It was so real to them and so foreign to others.

But what if God in some cases keeps some skeptics from seeing the miraculous even though it actually takes place? What if miracles are largely for those believers in God’s family who have accepted the stigma of being “outside the camp” (Heb. 13:13)?

After all, why didn’t the resurrected Christ appear to everybody on Easter Sunday? One might choose to argue that this would have been a reasonable thing to do if God truly wanted everybody to believe in His Son. Why did Jesus reveal Himself only to a few? Why didn’t Jesus knock on Pontius Pilate’s door on Easter morning and say, “Surprise!”? Why didn’t Jesus go straight from the empty tomb to Herod’s palace and say, “Bet you weren’t expecting Me!” He appeared only to a few—those who were His faithful followers.

I also suspect that God sometimes allows just a little bit of doubt when it comes to the objective proof of the miraculous. This keeps us humbled. And sobered. Pastor Colin Dye of London’s Kensington Temple has put it like this: “Miracles always leave room for doubt, as they were not intended to replace faith, only to reveal the heart. Also, the fact that Jesus’ miracles in Galilee were not believed shows that the very best of them were not knock-down proofs for those who are hard of heart and unbelieving, and to reject their testimony is to bring greater judgment on those who witness them. Perhaps it is out of God’s mercy that God is pleased sometimes to withhold them, at least until the time is right to bring to light the true state of people’s hearts—to bring in the elect and to reveal the apostates.”

Perhaps you and I need patience while our friends or loved ones are totally convinced “there’s nothing to it” when it comes to the miraculous. After all, how could Peter prove that Jesus had ascended to the right hand of God on the Day of Pentecost? He couldn’t. But he believed it. And all the rest could do was to believe his word—or reject it.

Let the Spirit Vindicate Us

Jesus was “vindicated by the Spirit” (1 Tim. 3:16, NIV) in the days of His earthly ministry. This meant He got His approval through the Holy Spirit from the Father alone—not from people’s approval. It also referred to His followers who were drawn to Him in faith by the Holy Spirit.

Faith is a gift of God (Acts 13:48; Eph. 2:8-9). This means those who believed in Jesus had been drawn to Him by the Spirit (John 6:44). And Jesus’ vindication by the Holy Spirit continues to this day. Even though He is at the right hand of God and is highly exalted in heaven, the only ones who believe this are those whose hearts have been drawn to Him by the Holy Spirit.

My hypothesis, then, is that the principle of vindication by the Spirit is at stake when it comes to the miraculous. Vindication by the Spirit is an internal vindication. The Holy Spirit witnesses in our hearts.

Furthermore, those who are faithful believers in Jesus’ power today are more likely to see His healing miracles than those who say, “I will believe it when I see it.” In other words, as Jesus appeared to those who were previously drawn to Him, it may be that God shows His manifest power to those who have previously believed He is willing to show His glory.

Could it be, then, that God withholds the lack of hard evidence to skeptical people for our sakes? If so, it becomes a rather huge testing for us. The issue is this: Will you and I still be faithful if our cessationist friends never see God’s manifest power for themselves? Many of us would so love to be openly vindicated. But what if God is behind the withholding of His manifest power to our critics in order that we get our vindication not from people’s approval but from the Father alone? This would mean that we, too, are vindicated by the Spirit—His internal witness—and not by the external, visible and tangible proofs of His power.

God could show His healing power at any moment. For instance, a few years ago I received a curt letter from a very close friend. He lovingly chided me for my associations with Pentecostals and charismatics. But since he wrote me that letter, his own daughter became critically ill and was expected to die. The very charismatics he would not normally turn to prayed for his beloved daughter. She was gloriously healed. And stayed healed. My friend made a 180-degree turn. He announced to his friends, “I am a Baptist charismatic.”

But why doesn’t God do that all the time? You tell me.

My point is simply this. Let us not live for the vindication of our theological views. God wants us to receive the praise that comes from Him alone (John 5:44). If we became openly vindicated of our position that God manifests His power and glory today through the gifts of the Spirit, we might succumb to the praise of people. We could. We all have fragile egos. God forbid that this should happen to us—that we would start saying, “I told you so.”

R.T. Kendall was the pastor of Westminster Chapel in London from 1977 to 2002. He now lives in Nashville, Tenn. He is a well-known speaker and the author of many books, including his newest release, Holy Fire: A Balanced, Biblical Look at the Holy Spirit’s Work in Our Lives, from which this article was excerpted.

Dear Dr. MacArthur,

I have admired you as an able writer and speaker for years. I have not only read your book Strange Fire but have listened to your talks as well as the panel discussions at your recent conference. I am as Reformed theologically as you are and can say we are on the same page when it comes to many issues you address.

I was not prepared, however, for some of the things you said. I had to reread some parts to be sure you said what I thought you said. First, if your book purports the danger of offending the Holy Spirit with counterfeit worship, I fear you are in greater danger of offending the Holy Spirit by attributing His work to Satan. Does this not worry you? You are risking an awful lot by counting on cessationism to be totally true. You have tried to turn the hypothetical teaching of cessationism into dogma.

Second, surprisingly, you imply that my predecessor, Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, would agree with you. A major portion of my own book Holy Fire is devoted to what he believed regarding the gifts, the baptism and the immediate witness of the Holy Spirit. He was no cessationist; he loathed cessationism. Nearly every Pentecostal and charismatic in Britain knew he was their friend. Not only that, but he has turned more of them into Reformed thinkers than anybody in the 20th century. He would be horrified that you dismiss as demonic all contemporary testimonies of experiencing the direct work of the Spirit. According to you, my own baptism with the Spirit was demonic even though it led me to Reformed theology without reading a single word of John Calvin.

Third, to be consistent, if you have got it right, we should counsel new Christians to disregard many Scriptures—for example, those that encourage us to believe Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (Heb. 13:8); that He shows us when we are on the wrong track (Phil. 3:15); that the Holy Spirit can speak today as He did to Philip (Acts 8:29); or that we should covet earnestly the best gifts (1 Cor. 12:31).

I hope you will consider reading my book Holy Fire. It will do you no harm and, just maybe, you might hear God speak to you in a way you never thought possible. I only pray with all my heart that you have not gone too far already. In the second panel discussion at your conference, you actually said, “I know I am wrong somewhere.” If so, who would you listen to? Would you not want to know as soon as possible if you have got it wrong on those matters you are so dogmatic about?

If I knew for sure it would be honoring to God, for the sake of sincere Christians who are fence-straddling on cessationism, I would ask that you and I have a civil debate, presidential style, on the issue of cessationism. Could we pray about this? —R.T. Kendall

It’s an unthinkable concept—forgiving the One who grants you life—yet countless believers feel betrayed by God. Instead of harboring bitterness toward him, you can learn the truth about walking in total forgiveness­.

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went. … [And yet God] gave him no inheritance [there], not even a foot of ground” (Heb. 11:8; Acts 7:5, NIV). God’s Word states clearly that the land of Canaan was to be Abraham’s inheritance, his possession. But according to Acts 7:5, Abraham did not get it, not even a foot of ground.

The same can be said for all those people of faith described in Hebrews 11. They all were commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised (Heb. 11:39).

What? They didn’t receive what God promised them? That is what it says.

It must surely have occurred to Abraham that he had been deceived by God. After all, where was the inheritance he had hoped for? Yet it was the outstanding virtue of Abraham that he withstood this temptation to believe God had let him down—a fact that came from faith alone.

Abraham succeeded in breaking the “betrayal barrier”—something each of us must do if we feel God has let us down. I will explain this later in the article.

Still, the fact that Abraham (and others in the Bible) did not receive what had been promised to them begs the question: Does God (at times) betray us? My belief is: No. God does not betray us—ever. It has never happened. It never will happen.

But for some of us, our perception is that we are betrayed. In other words, some of us feel betrayed. And, as strange as it may sound, we must forgive God if we feel that He has betrayed us.

It must have been how Abraham felt, having been promised the land of Canaan but getting not even a foot of its ground. Perhaps disappointed is the better word. Or, simply, let down. I do know that Jeremiah said, “O Lord, you deceived me, and I was deceived” (Jer. 20:7, emphasis added).

Why I Felt Betrayed

In my own experience, I have been absolutely certain I heard from God—and can only conclude that, if I did, I was surely betrayed. And yet I do not believe I was betrayed. I repeat: God never betrays us. I do not believe God truly lets us down; we only feel let down. Here’s my story:

Many years ago, while I was a pastor in Palmer, Tenn., and attending Trevecca Nazarene University, I began to have visions. These visions—a dozen or more—came passively and unexpectedly during a period that lasted roughly six months, beginning in late 1955—shortly after when Jesus Christ was made so real to me.

One of my first visions was of my dad sitting in the front row of a large tent in which I was doing the preaching. He was smiling and clearly approving of my ministry. This greatly encouraged me, as I feared he would be unhappy with my recent theological change and different denominational direction that was at hand.

He had named me after his favorite preacher, Dr. R.T. Williams, general superintendent in the Church of the Nazarene; so my dad had great plans for me in that denomination. I knew from that vision, however, that he would be happy with me.

But when I returned home from Trevecca in June 1956, having resigned my church in Palmer, he was displeased and even accused me of breaking with God.

As it happened, that same summer I was part of an evangelistic campaign near my hometown of Ashland, Ky. We purchased a huge tent that seated 2,000.

I also thought this fit the vision. But my dad never came near that tent meeting, and he continued in his outspoken opposition to my new direction.

The tent meeting closed down within a month. We never had more than 30 people or so attend. It was a total failure and a massive embarrassment to me.

I felt betrayed. I had not asked for that vision. It was so real. I was convinced it was from the Holy Spirit. Could it have been?

There were other visions. Some of them were fulfilled; others were not. They all came to me unsought and seemed credible.

These were not dreams. If they weren’t of God, you could have fooled me! They were absolutely real. And yet some were literally fulfilled; others were not. Why?

But I didn’t give up. I was determined to break through the betrayal barrier.

If you feel that God betrayed you or grossly let you down, I urge you to achieve the greatest challenge a believer can accept: to break the betrayal barrier. It means to not give up; to keep trusting the same God who promised certain things even though you feel He has not kept His word in some areas. It requires persistent faith (the faith that achieves what God envisages for you)—the faith exemplified in those men and women of Hebrews 11.

Breaking the betrayal barrier is a spiritual achievement. I don’t mean to be unfair, but my pastoral experience suggests that not very many people actually break the barrier. Sadly, most never—ever—discover what their inheritance would have been.

It is not that they all reject God. Many keep going to church. Some keep busy doing religious things. Some have important positions in the church, often in leadership. But in their hearts, they are dismayed that God let them down.

Others simply wander back and forth from the church to the world. Some stop praying and reading their Bibles.

But not Abraham. Or Isaac. Or Jacob. Or Moses. Not any of those described in Hebrews 11. What about you? Will you break the betrayal barrier? You can. If you need to, I suggest you do the following:

1. Know that it’s God’s idea for you to break the betrayal barrier. It is what God Himself very much wants of you. God often plays hard-to-get. It is said of Hezekiah that the Lord left him to test him and to know everything that was in his heart (2 Chron. 32:31). Like it or not, it is one of God’s characteristics that His way of drawing you closer to Him is often to do the very thing that puts you off Him.

The next time things go terribly wrong and God hides His face from you, press on all the more. Don’t give up. The breakthrough will come and is worth waiting for.

2. Accept this greatest opportunity of all to know Him intimately. Strange as it may seem, the Lord plays hard-to-get because He loves you so much. He wants to know how much you truly want Him; whether or not you will be rebuffed, put off or angry by His keeping a painful distance from you. It has been my experience, however, that any increase of anointing I have had in my 76 years has come through great hardship, extraordinary hurts—and feeling betrayed by the very One I have sought to please. As far as I can tell, whatever anointing I have has come chiefly by my saying, “Yes, Lord,” and persisting in faith.

3. Don’t complain (God hates it) and do be grateful (God loves it). This is something that cannot be overemphasized. God hates murmuring, grumbling and complaining. It doesn’t work if you are trying to get God’s attention! Persistent faith must be laced with gratitude. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Phil. 4:6).

We are commanded to give thanks in all circumstances; not necessarily being thankful for them but in them (1 Thess. 5:18). Learn to set your heart on replacing grumbling with things you are thankful for. Nothing will change your life like maintaining a spirit of gratitude.

4. Pray and read your Bible more than ever. How much do you pray? You show your esteem of a person by how much time you give him or her. Be assured, God likes your company. Spend time with Him—the more, the better. It is also how you get to know God’s ways, assuming too that you aspire to know His Word—the Bible.

When you feel let down by God, seek Him in His Word. Spend as much time in the Word as you possibly can—any part of it. Keep praying; keep reading your Bible. It is how you get to know God and discover His plan for your life. When you feel let down, pray more than ever. When you feel betrayed, read the Bible more than ever.

5. Walk in the light God gives you. “If we walk in the light … we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). If you are faithful in what I have suggested, here is what you will discover: God will show you things. For example, He will show you sin you didn’t know you had. He will show you ways forward you had not thought about. He will show you new obedience that perhaps is long overdue. Persistent faith will be accompanied with a sense of duty that, when embraced, will put you on the road to breaking the betrayal barrier.

What I Learned About God

I can’t predict what it will be like in everyone’s situation, but I can testify to what breaking the betrayal barrier has meant to me. In a word: God showed up in a way that was unmistakable. He became absolutely real to me.

This has happened more than once. I can only say that when I feel betrayed—which also has happened more than once—yet don’t give up, God has a way of revealing Himself never too late, never too early, but always just on time. The breakthrough leaves me with the feeling I could never truly doubt Him again.

What God has done for me, He will do for you. He is not a respecter of persons; He does not show favoritism (Acts 10:34). I pray that you—if you have felt betrayed by God—will also experience this internal breakthrough.

I stated earlier in this article that not many experience this breakthrough. Why? My opinion is, they give up too soon. Only a few find it, Jesus said (Matt. 7:14); but it need not be the case with you.

God does care how you feel. He knows your frame and mine, remembering always that we are dust (Ps. 103:14). God knows you backward and forward—your past hurts, present aspirations, feelings and dilemmas. He remembers details of your past you have forgotten. He knows exactly what will satisfy you. He knows what will comfort you. He knows what will convince you, what will give you peace. That is the way He is and the way He works.

You will see in the end—when the light breaks through—that He did not betray you after all. He did not desert you. Your feeling let down was part of His plan to get your attention.

If you need more time before you can totally forgive God, He is OK about this. He loves you like you are. He will be there waiting for you. He is not rushing you. He will come through for you. I guarantee it—that is, if you persist in faith. Never, never, never, never give up.

R.T. Kendall pastored Westminster Chapel in London for 25 years. A native of Kentucky, he was educated at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and Oxford University. He is the author of more than 50 books, including Totally Forgiving God and The Anointing: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow.

To hear what Charles Stanley says about being angry with God click here.

In May 1984 Billy Graham spoke at Westminster Chapel. His
subject was “loneliness.” He took his text from a strange verse; Psalm 102:6,
in the King James Version, in which the psalmist likens himself to an owl in
the desert. Graham definitely hit a nerve! There are so many people today who
are lonely.

Loneliness is a painful condition, a dreaded state that,
given the choice, most people would do anything to avoid. It is enforced
solitude.

There is obviously a significant difference between enforced
solitude and chosen solitude. Some of us appreciate the bliss of solitude.
Jesus needed to get away from the crowds, and there are some who, by nature,
are loners; they love it that way. My friend Robert Amess calls himself “the
complete loner,” but he is not lonely.

Enforced solitude is another matter. It may be that you are
confined to one place or one room. Or, in the case of social isolation, you
have few or no friends. “Webster’s Dictionary” says that “loneliness” means
“sad from being alone.” It occurs when you have no one to share your hurts or
joys with.

You may spend time with people, and that is good as far as
it goes. But you are sad the whole time because you know that, in a few
moments, in a very little while, they will go back to their homes — some to
their wives, some to their husbands. You, on the other hand, will go back to your
lonely place and turn on the television.

If this is your situation, it’s possible that loneliness is
your thorn in the flesh, something uncomfortable that God has ordained for your
benefit. The apostle Paul had such a thorn, though we don’t know for certain
what it was. He wrote, “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these
surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a
messenger of Satan, to torment me” (2 Cor. 12:7, NIV). The devil will use your
thorn to torment you as well, but remember: There is a purpose in everything
that happens, and God Himself takes the responsibility for it.

Also, you can take comfort in the fact that there ARE
advantages to loneliness. One is that you have time to pray! In fact, God could
be allowing the loneliness because He loves your company and wants you all to
Himself. This is your moment to do two things: (1) to become an intercessor and
(2) to grow in intimacy with God beyond anything you dreamed possible.

Another value of loneliness is that you become more
sympathetic toward others. That is one of the main purposes of any trial. It
produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings. You will be able to
identify and sympathize with another person in the same situation. Pray you will
never forget what it was like, should this thorn be withdrawn from your flesh.

Yet another blessing of loneliness is that you become more
aware of the presence of Jesus. I don’t say that it totally takes the place of
friends, but His presence compensates. You get to talk to Him as a friend.

A real value of loneliness, especially if you are single, is
that you have the freedom to serve the Lord more fully. You are able to take on
more ministry-related responsibilities (see 1 Cor. 7:32-33).

Finally, when you are lonely, you learn to worship and
praise. It is easy to worship when all is going well. But do you want to know
something that pleases God? Do you know what He likes? It is when you worship
Him, and you don’t feel like it. You praise Him, and you don’t feel like it –
you just do it! Oh, He likes that; it honors Him.

There was a purpose in the thorn Paul had to bear, and if
your thorn is loneliness, know that it was lovingly and deliberately designed
just for you. If Paul’s thorn in the flesh was the best thing that happened to
him – and it was – so too with you and me. Instead of complaining or getting
angry with God, begin to see the value in your loneliness – and praise Him for
it!

Adapted from “The Thorn in the Flesh” by R.T. Kendall,
copyright 2004. Published by Charisma House. In this book, the author discusses
many different types of “thorns in the flesh” and encourages the reader to
believe that they are designed by God for our benefit. To order a copy, click
here:

PRAYER POWER FOR THE WEEK OF: 2/20/2012

This week praise God no matter what circumstances you are
facing. Thank Him for the
situation and tell Him in faith that you know all things will work together for
your good because you love Him and are called for His purpose. Declare it in spite of any doubts or
feelings to the contrary.

Embrace Him as the One who will never leave or forsake you.
Praise Him until your heart connects with His and you feel His comfort, joy and
strength energizing you once again. Continue to pray protection over Israel,
perseverance for the persecuted church, and boldness for believers around the
world. Pray that our churches would seek God’s face, join in united prayer and
fasting for the nation, and reach out in love to those who desperately need to
know our God. Rom. 8:28; Heb. 13:5-6

To enrich your prayer
life and learn how to strategically pray with power by using appropriate
scriptures, we recommend the following sources by Apostle John Eckhardt: Prayers that Rout Demons, Prayers that Bring Healing, Prayers that Release Heaven on Earth and Prayers that Break
Curses. To order any or all of these click here.

Often we despise the thing that is designed to take us to the next level of blessing and anointing—the chastening of the Lord.

I
remember exactly where I was when the meaning of James 1:2-3 dawned on
me. I wasn’t at an all-night prayer meeting. I wasn’t at the end of a
40-day fast. No, I was at a pizzeria in Kissimmee, Fla., in the summer
of 1979, and I had just lost my temper.

I
had been looking forward to enjoying a pizza from this particular
place. But everything went wrong. First, the pizzas took 45 minutes to
prepare. Then, as I carried them to my motel room through the pouring
rain, they fell out of their wet paper bag into a puddle of water.

I
had already told off the manager because I’d waited so long for the
first set of pizzas. Now I was going to have to face him again to get
new ones.

“How could all this happen?” I asked myself.

That’s
when James 1:2-3 came to me: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers,
whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the
testing of your faith develops perseverance” (NIV).

This
verse had already been on my mind for weeks, since I was planning to
preach on the book of James in the autumn. As I returned to the
pizzeria, I said to myself, “Either James 1:2 is true or it isn’t. And
if I plan to preach on it shortly, I had better begin practicing what I
preach!”

This trial of
having everything go wrong with a long-awaited pizza, when people all
over the world are starving, hurting, living in poverty or dying from
disease, is almost too silly to mention. It was hardly the greatest
trial a person could suffer.

But
I have to tell you, this episode—this “trial”—was pivotal in my life.
Minutes before I returned to the pizzeria to apologize with genuine
meekness to the manager, I repented before God for my anger and
behavior.

In that moment a
new phrase was born to me: “dignifying the trial.” I decided then and
there to dignify that situation by accepting the entire matter as
something that God sent. It was a divine setup.

I
not only repented to the Lord, but I also thanked Him for the whole
thing. I apologized to the manager and cheerfully waited for another
pizza. (For some reason, he wouldn’t let me pay.)

When I returned to my family at the motel, I was a different person.

A GOD-GIVEN PRIVILEGE
According
to James 1:2, a trial is a God-given privilege that we are to
“consider” pure joy. The Greek word is hegeomai, meaning “to value
highly, to esteem.” In other words, what would naturally make us feel
the opposite—upset or sorry for ourselves—is to be valued as a wonderful
opportunity.

How do we make
that adjustment in our thinking? Only by sufficient motivation. We must
be inspired or stimulated to look at trials in a positive manner.

Take
Moses, for example. The Bible says he “regarded” disgrace for the sake
of Christ to be of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, “because
he was looking ahead to his reward” (Heb. 11:26).

Hebrews
12:2 tells us that Jesus Himself endured the cross because of “the joy
that was set before him.” He did not enjoy the taunts or relish the
physical pain. But He considered the cross pure joy because pure joy was
coming. And it came!

The
message of James 1:2 is that trials are a good thing, if we have a
positive attitude toward them when they come. James certainly doesn’t
say we will enjoy trials. Instead, we must endure them.

But we can regard the thought of them as pure joy because of what they can do for us.

Every
trial has the potential to lead to great reward. James wants us to see
that—by faith. He wants us to understand that trials are the gateway to
God’s anointing in our lives.

THE GATEWAY TO GOD’S ANOINTING
If
it is anointing you want, then expect suffering. If it is a great
anointing you want, anticipate great suffering at some stage.

When
I say, “anointing,” I am talking about the power of the Holy Spirit to
make us do what we do with ease and without fatigue. The main reason for
burnout and fatigue among Christians is almost certainly because we go
beyond our anointing; we go outside it rather than functioning within
it.

We can pray for greater
anointing—for the ability to do what we previously could not do in our
own strength. This is a legitimate desire; Paul told us to earnestly
desire the greater gifts (see 1 Cor. 12:31). God will answer this
request so long as it is in His will and sought with His glory in mind
(see 1 John 5:14).

Just
don’t be surprised when you wake up one morning with an enormous trial
in front of you. Instead, grasp it with both hands, and consider it pure
joy. It is a fairly strong hint from the Lord that you are going to
receive the anointing you desire.

Of
course, James does not specifically use the word “anointing.” His exact
words are, “Consider it pure joy…because you know that the testing of
your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:1-3, emphasis added).

What
does perseverance have to do with anointing? Perseverance is the next
step forward—the link to a brilliant future. God does not lead us from A
to Z, but from A to B.

During
a trial, the immediate need is for perseverance. It is not the ultimate
goal; but it is what enables you to reach the goal that James
envisions: “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature
and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:4).

By
dignifying your trial, James says, you will reach a place of
indescribable peace and the highest level of anointing. You will have a
soul uncluttered by greed and a heart filled with the very presence of
God. You will experience pure joy.

DIGNIFYING YOUR TRIAL
Are
you ready to dignify your trials and experience more joy and a greater
anointing than you have ever known? Here are eight steps you can take
when your time of testing comes:

1. Welcome the trial.
Welcome your trial as you would welcome the Holy Spirit; for it is the
Holy Spirit who is behind the whole ordeal, along with the Father and
the Son. Even though the beginning of a trial can be painful, say to the
Lord, “I know You have sent this to me, and I want to get the maximum
benefit You had in mind when You ordained it.” This way, you begin to
dignify the trial from the first moment.

2. Don’t panic.
Satan’s immediate goal when he is given permission to attack is to get
you to panic. This is why he is compared to a roaring lion (see 1 Pet.
5:8). The reason for the roar is to intimidate and cause fear and
panic—to make you think you are defeated even before anything has
happened.

Remember that God
OK’d your trial before it came to you. He reckoned that you were able to
cope, or He would not have allowed it (see 1 Cor. 10:13). As the
psalmist put it, “Do not fret—it leads only to evil” (Ps. 37:8).

3. See the trial as a compliment to you from God.
The kind of trial that God has allowed you to have is very possibly one
that could not be granted to others around you. Whereas your first
reaction (understandably) may be to feel sorry for yourself, on
reflection you should be able to see that God gave this trial to you for
one reason: You are up to it.

4. Never forget that God allowed the trial.
This point must be stressed because Satan wants you to feel sorry for
yourself, point the finger at others, and become angry and bitter toward
God. Instead, when a trial comes, stop and realize: This scenario has
passed through God’s filtering process. He could have stopped it, yes,
but He didn’t.

Try not to
get hung up on the vexing theological question of whether God caused—or
only permitted—the trial to happen. There is a fine line between the
two, and nobody in the history of the world has it all figured out.

Besides,
whether your trial is something as big as physical pain or as small as
losing your keys, it doesn’t matter if God caused it or simply allowed
it. You know this much: He let it happen. Your task is to dignify the
trial, whether it is big or small.

5. Know that there is a purpose in the trial.
Were it not for this, there would be no point in counting a trial “pure
joy.” James states that the immediate purpose of a trial is to develop
perseverance that leads to joy so wonderful, you lack nothing.

Here
is James 1:2-4 translated in The Message: “Consider it a sheer gift,
friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know
that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows
its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it
do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in
any way.”

There is a purpose
in what you’re going through. It may be to refine you; to teach you a
lesson; to equip you; or to teach you self-control. The bottom line is
that every trial is designed to make you more like Jesus.

6. Don’t try to end the trial.
As The Message puts it, “Don’t try to get out of anything prematurely.”
God will end your trial at the right time. It will last as long as it’s
supposed to last. Try to end it before its time, and you will fail the
test.

Your assignment is to
dignify the trial by letting it run its course, however long God decides
that will be. If you do nothing to bring about its conclusion—if you
let God be in control of the timing—you will not only pass the test, but
you will also enjoy the fruit of righteousness that God purposed for
you.

7. Don’t grumble.
Here’s a sobering thought: God puts grumbling alongside idolatry and
sexual sin in the lists of evil deeds that brought His wrath down on
ancient Israel (see 1 Cor. 10:1-12).

It
takes no talent or training to criticize and complain. It is part of
being a sinner. It takes great grace to endure trials and keep quiet in
the hard times.

Remember,
God wants you to pass the test far more than you do. Why? First, because
He loves you so much that He rejoices when you experience pure joy.

Second,
it brings Him glory when you dignify your trial by cheerfully enduring.
So trust God in the midst of your trial, and don’t grumble.

8. Don’t go looking for trials.
If pure joy is the ultimate result of dignifying a trial, you might
logically assume that you should go looking for fiery trials. Wrong. The
qualification for a trial to be dignified is that it happens without
you doing a thing to precipitate it.

Jesus
told us to pray that we would not enter into temptation, or trial (see
Matt. 6:13). But when a trial comes—and it comes without you causing
it—consider it pure joy.

You may never have another trial that is like the one you are in right now. Dignify it. Welcome it without panic or grumbling.

Know that God has allowed this trial for a great purpose, and endure it to the end. You will be glad you did!

Read a companion devotional.

R.T. Kendall is the author of Pure Joy (Charisma House), from which this article is adapted.

DOES GOD EVER ASK HIS SERVANTS
TO WALK WITH HIM IN PLACES THAT ARE UNCOMFORTABLE AND EVEN UNDESIRABLE?
THE SCRIPTURES AND HISTORY TELL US, YES.

One
of the most stunning comments I ever heard, almost a throwaway remark,
came from one of the most famous ministers in the world. He said to me,
“R.T., the more God uses me, the less I am able to enjoy it.”

This
may be incomprehensible to some, but I know exactly what he meant. God
has many ways of ensuring that while we enjoy His blessing, we do not
become conceited.

The apostle Paul is a hero for many of us, but he too was open to
pride and to taking himself too seriously. In His wisdom God had a
plan; Paul was too precious to Him to be allowed to fall into that kind
of folly.

This is how Paul describes what God decided to do: “To
keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great
revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of
Satan, to torment me” (2 Cor. 12:7, NIV).

To be honest, though, I
must add that there is a singular kindness attached to such an
affliction. So it is with yours. It is God’s hint to you that He is not
finished with you yet. And there is no sweeter thought than the sheer
consciousness of God’s refining you and me to give us a greater
anointing for His glory.

IS YOUR CALLING A THORN?
If you are a Christian worth your salt, you probably have a thorn in the flesh. For some it is a handicap or disability.

It
could be loneliness or an unhappy marriage. But for others a thorn in
the flesh may be an unwanted calling—when what God wants is not what
you want. It is what you have to do, though it is the opposite of what
you want to do.

The word “calling” in the New Testament is used
in several ways. Generally speaking, there is effectual calling and what
I would call career calling.

Effectual calling is the work of
the Holy Spirit in conversion. By His Spirit, God calls everyone to
repentance, but not everyone receives the calling.

He does this because we would never be saved if He didn’t call us. That is the effectual calling.

But that is not mainly what I am writing about here. I am referring to career calling—God’s plan for your life.

Paul
said he was called to be an apostle. As soon as he was converted, he
was told he was to go to the Gentiles (see Acts 9:15). But some of us
discover much later what God is going to do with our lives, and we are
not happy with it because it isn’t what we wanted Him to do.

A
calling that is unwanted is what you get when God’s plans overrule
yours. It is having to spend your life doing what you wouldn’t have
preferred at all.

You may feel overqualified and frustrated or
underqualified and frustrated. Perhaps your work is not even in your
area of expertise. God has led you to where you are, but it seems that
nothing has gone according to your plan.

Could this have been
Paul’s thorn in the flesh? It could have been. After he became a
Christian he had to work with his hands and with people he had been
brought up to believe were second-class—Gentiles (see Gal. 2:7).

If
Paul had managed to do what he wanted to do, he would have been able to
work with his own people. As long as he lived, he never got over that
(see Rom. 9:1-5). That was where his heart was, but he yielded to what
God wanted him to do, and it was God’s plan from the beginning.

All
his life Paul was looking over his shoulder, trying to reach Jews at
every opportunity. I am quite convinced this is what eventually got him
into real trouble. There is little doubt in my mind that when those
people came to him and said, “Don’t go to Jerusalem,” they were led of
the Spirit (see Acts 21:4-11).

Paul said, “I’m going!” He kept
thinking that one day, somehow, he was going to convert the Jews. But
his trip to Jerusalem was a big disaster, and his desires were not
fulfilled.

Maybe you are still hoping somehow to do something
else. You try to do what God won’t let you do, and it just doesn’t
happen. Paul’s lasting success was with the very people he had grown up
to think very little of. It was an unwanted calling.

WHEN YOUR PLANS GO AWRY
There
is a consistent pattern behind many an unwanted calling. For example,
take an unwanted calling to singleness rather than marriage. Perhaps all
your life you took for granted that one day you would be married.

Now if you are single, I am not saying you are not going to get married. I am just saying that there are those who won’t.

The
apostle Paul was probably widowed. It is believed that when he said, “I
wish that all men were as I am” (1 Cor. 7:7), it meant that he was
going to be celibate for the rest of his life.

Paul was making a
case here for remaining unmarried. It could be that, after many years of
wanting to be married, you are having to come to terms with singleness
as God’s choice for you.

The biblical character Joseph was bred
by his father to be the firstborn. That meant special treatment in
ancient times, including a double portion in the inheritance.

Actually,
Joseph’s brother Reuben was the firstborn. But Jacob was unhappy with
Reuben and turned to Joseph. So Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him
and plotted against him.

Joseph, who had never worked a day in
his life, became a slave in the house of Potiphar, an Egyptian officer.
He must have thought, What on Earth is this all about? But the Bible
says, “The Lord was with Joseph” (Gen. 39:2). That is what matters.

You
may have an unwanted calling, but is the Lord with you? That matters!
The day came when Joseph could say, “God meant it for good!” (Gen.
50:20). Oh, did God ever have plans for Joseph.

And God has plans for you. Perhaps He has given you a mission you didn’t ask for.

One
must take into consideration the providence of an unwanted calling.
Hebrews 11:8 says, “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he
would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he
did not know where he was going.”

Abraham became one of the
greatest men in all history. He is known as the father of the faithful,
yet He had no idea what his mission would lead to.

Do you feel that life is passing you by? It is not over yet!

As
Abraham followed God, there was a lot for him to discover and
accomplish. The same can be said of you if God directs your path.

It hurts when things don’t go according to our plans. But there is great potential in an unwanted calling.

If
you could always do what you wanted to do, you would never know your
full potential in other areas. God can see a potential in you that you
can’t see, so He leads you in a way, which, at first, doesn’t seem to
make sense.

Moses is an example of someone who was trained to do
something completely different from his unwanted calling. He was
educated in the wisdom of the Egyptians, but his career was going to be
with his people, the Hebrews (see Acts 7:22).

Years later Moses
would face Pharaoh. Having been trained in the wisdom of the Egyptians
and raised in the palace, he knew how Pharaoh’s mind worked. All the
training he had received years before was brought back at the exact
moment God wanted to use him.

At the moment, we cannot always
understand the way we are being led, but time shows the purpose and
meaning in it all. So it will be with you.

GOD KNOWS YOUR POTENTIAL
Although
your experience may seem wasted at first, one day you will see a reason
for all you have learned and the explanation for all your training. An
unwanted calling has the potential of showing what you are capable of
becoming and doing.

The reason for an unwanted calling is the
reason Paul gave for the thorn in his flesh. He said it was to keep him
from becoming conceited (see 2 Cor. 12:7). God directed you differently
from what you wanted in order to give you the usefulness and intimacy
with Him you would not have otherwise experienced.

If you are
like me, you would have been too proud if you had gotten what you
wanted. I hate to think what my life would be like today if I hadn’t
remained at Westminster Chapel in London, where I pastored for 25 years.

It was not what I wanted. But that is not the whole story.

If
I had returned to America, I doubt I would ever have needed to know how
to dignify a trial or forgive those who have hurt me. I might not have
learned how we can grieve the Holy Spirit by bitterness. These insights
changed my life.

The book of Philippians was written after Paul’s
disastrous trip to Jerusalem (see Acts 21-26). Nothing happened as he
had hoped. He alludes to this in Philippians 1:12, saying, “Now I want
you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to
advance the gospel.”

It is as though he says, “I may not be in
good shape in some ways, but my trials advanced the gospel.” That is
what it is all for.

In Philippians 3:10, Paul wrote: “I want to
know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of
sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death.” God doesn’t
care whether I am seen as a great success. He cares that I get to know
His Son.

Everything that has happened to us happened because God
wants us to know His Son. The potential you have for intimacy with God
would never be discovered if you got to do only what you wanted to do.

In
other words, the thorn of an unwanted calling is the best thing that
could happen to any of us. Painful and puzzling though it is, the thorn
in the flesh is in a sense our salvation—from ourselves.

Presumably
Paul stopped praying about the removal of his problem after only three
times because the Lord stepped in and said, “‘My grace is sufficient for
you, for My power is made perfect in weakness'” (2 Cor. 12:9). Paul
realized that that thorn in the flesh was God’s instrument for a greater
anointing.

There is potential in all of us that would never be
discovered if we always had things our way. We all need a thorn to save
us from ourselves. At the end of the day, Paul could say, “It was worth
it all!” Or as Joseph put it, “God meant it for good.”

Read a companion devotional.

R.T. Kendall
was the pastor of Westminster Chapel in London, England for 25 years.
He is a graduate of Oxford University and well-known internationally as a
speaker and teacher. Kendall has authored more than 40 books, including
The Thorn in the Flesh, from which this article is adapted. Published by Charisma House.

 Unforgiveness says three things to God (hint: none of them good).

God
is no fan of an unforgiving spirit—at all. Jesus was clear about it:
“If you do not forgive men their trespasses, your Father will not
forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:15, NKJV). Why does He so hate an
unwillingness to forgive?·

·1. It shows an indifference to the greatest thing God did.

This
“greatest thing” was God sending His Son to die on the cross for our
sins. To be forgiven is the most wonderful thing in the world. But in
order to forgive us, God paid a severe price.·

I
predict that when we get to heaven we will be able to see, little by
little, what it meant for God to send His Son to die on a cross. We now
see only the tip of the iceberg. We see waves of glory, and these
overcome us, but we’ve seen little.·

God did for us what we did not deserve. He therefore wants us to pass this on to others who don’t deserve it.

2. We interrupt God’s purpose in the world: reconciliation.

God loves reconciliation. He has given the ministry of reconciliation to us, and He wants it to continue.·

When
we are forgiven, He wants us to pass it on. When we interrupt that, He
doesn’t like it at all. He sent His Son to die on a cross, effectually
calling us by His grace and giving us total forgiveness. But we
interrupt that flow by not passing it on.

·3. God hates ingratitude.·

God
knows the sins for which He has forgiven us, and He loves a grateful
response. Matthew 18 relates the story of a servant who owed a great
debt. He fell on his knees before his creditor, his master, and said,
“Have patience with me, and I will pay you all” (v. 26). The master took
pity on him, canceling the debt and letting him go. The master knew the
things for which he had forgiven his servant.·

But
then that same servant went out and found one of his own servants who
owed him a much smaller amount. He grabbed the man and began to choke
him, saying, “Pay me what you owe!” (v. 28).·

The
fellow servant did exactly what he himself had done; he fell on his
knees and said, “Please forgive me. I will pay you back.”·

But
the one who had been forgiven a much greater debt refused to extend
forgiveness, and he threw his servant into prison. To think there could
be such ingratitude!·

Word eventually reached the original master, and the unforgiving servant was also thrown into debtor’s prison.·

Jesus
then added, “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you,
from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matt.
18:35).·

God
knows what we have done. He knows the sins for which He has forgiven
us, the things that no one else will ever hear about. If we turn around
and say, “I can’t forgive that person for what he has done,” God doesn’t
like that at all. He hates ingratitude.

For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a
righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is
written: “The righteous will live by faith.” —Romans 1:17

 It is one thing for us to believe it once and be electrified and be
thrilled, to have our world turned upside down, but quite another to
keep believing it. The devil will come alongside and tell you that it
can’t be true, and he appeals to our natural reasoning. He appeals to
what we know to be true about ourselves, that we are sinners. If he can,
he will bring us right back to our bondage.

It was Martin Luther
who rediscovered the Pauline doctrine of justification by faith. Luther
was a very conscientious person. He had a sensitive conscience and was
known to go to confession not only every day but sometimes two or three
times a day, because after spending an hour confessing his sins, he
would come back an hour or two later remembering there was a sin he
didn’t confess.

But during these days he was also reading Romans, as well as
Galatians and certain of the Psalms. Here he had a breakthrough, largely
from Romans 1:17.
When Luther saw that what Paul was saying was that faith alone pleases
God, and it satisfies, to use Luther’s term, “the passive justice of
God,” his world was changed. He, in fact, woke up the world by his own
world being turned upside down. He did not know that he would turn the
world upside down by simply trying to save his own soul. The interesting
thing is that Paul too rediscovered this teaching. Paul realized that
Abraham saw it long before, and David saw it.

The principal thing that we are to see is that we are justified by
the combination of two things: what Jesus did  for us and our own faith
in Him. Or, to put it another way: His faith and our faith. These two
things must come together.

Though seemingly impossible, you can forgive—completely—and finally let go of the past

I received a heartrending letter from a couple who had heard me teach on the subject of total forgiveness a few years ago. They told me what their son-in-law had done to their daughter and grandchildren. It was an awful story.  “Are you saying we must totally forgive our son-in-law?” they asked. 

That was a hard question to answer. But I had to tell them the truth: Yes, they must learn to forgive. My heart went out to them. I can only imagine the pain they have experienced. But total forgiveness is the only way they will ever find freedom and release from the offense.

I have received many other letters that describe everything from infidelity to incest to rape to lying and slander. It is enough to make me consider very carefully indeed what I preach and write. People experience real pain when they or someone they love is hurt by another person. It is often harder to forgive when the one who has been hurt is someone you love deeply, especially your child. I find it much easier to forgive what people have said or done to me personally than what they say or do to my children.

It is not unlike Corrie ten Boom’s having to forgive the prison guard who was so cruel to her sister Betsie. Corrie saw this man viciously abuse her sister—who died shortly afterward—when both of them were in prison for protecting Jews in Holland during World War II. Years later, Corrie was seated on the platform of a church, preparing to speak in a service, when she spotted this very man in the audience. She struggled in her heart. She prayed in desperation for God to fill her heart with the love of Jesus. He did, but forgiveness became even more of a challenge when, after the service, this guard rather glibly said, in so many words, how good God is to forgive all of us. She wondered how sorry he was. 

It is often easier, then, it seems to me, to forgive what is done to us personally than what is done to those we love. But it is still very hard to forgive those who have hurt us directly, especially when they do not feel the slightest twinge of conscience. If our offender would put on at least some symbolic show of repentance, it would be much easier for us to forgive them. 

Love Doesn’t Keep Score

Love is a choice. It is an act of the will. The great love chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, is a perfect demonstration of the cause and effect of total forgiveness. The apex of this wonderful passage is the phrase found in verse 5: Love “keeps no record of wrongs” (NIV). The Greek word that is translated as “no record” is logizomai, which means to not reckon or impute. Keeping a record of wrongs is also an act of the will—a choice not to love—and it is the more natural, easy choice. 

A key to letting go of the record of wrongs and achieving total forgiveness lies in the control of the tongue. The words we say can cause the catastrophe to which James refers: “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell” (James 3:5-6, NKJV).

The irony is that our words, instead of helping us “get something off our chest,” can cause an uncontrollable fire to erupt and incinerate what remains inside us. And instead of that fire subsiding, it doubles, intensifies and gets a thousand times worse in the end. It is a satanic victory, ultimately traceable to our keeping a record of wrongs. 

How, then, do we deal with our tongue? Two things, I believe, will help:

• When a person does wrong, refuse to point it out to the person. 
• When a person does wrong, refuse to point it out to others. 

If this were to become a more popular lifestyle, the number of records kept would plummet! By refusing to continually bring up the hurt in conversations, the record of that hurt would eventually disappear. 

This principle also applies to imaginary conversations—those internal dialogues with yourself in which you can’t get what they did off your mind. You may fantasize what you will say or do to them, or what you might tell other people about them. This conversation may go on and on—and hours and days may pass when you neither accomplish anything nor feel any better! 

One day at about 11 p.m., as I was going to bed, I found myself having a conversation in my head about someone. I imagined I had the opportunity to spill the beans about this person. I pictured the scenario in great detail. I made myself look good and the other person look bad. But the Holy Spirit—miraculously—got into the matter. I heard Him say to me, “You can get a victory right now if you refuse to think about clearing your name.”

Even though the conversation existed only in my mind, I realized that I had an opportunity to triumph—in my spirit! It was a pivotal moment because it was as if we were real and I was refusing to say anything at all about the person. 

By doing that I achieved victory. A peace entered my heart, and I knew then and there that I must never again enter into those imaginary conversations—unless I refused to vindicate myself. 

For those who find such conversations therapeutic, I would only remind you to let your thoughts be positive and wholesome. Keep no record of wrongs in your thoughts, and you will be less likely to expose such records by your words. 

When I am tempted to say something negative and I refuse to speak, I can often feel the release of the Holy Spirit in my heart. It is as if God says to me, “Well done.” It is a very good feeling! After all, Jesus is touched with our weaknesses (see Heb. 4:15), and He also lets us feel His joy when we overcome them! He rewards us with an incredible peace and the witness of the Spirit in our hearts.

Don’t Forget Yourself

It’s one thing to have the breakthrough regarding others—totally forgiving them and destroying the record of their wrongs. It is quite another to experience the greater breakthrough—total forgiveness of ourselves. 

Forgiving yourself means to experience the love that keeps no record of your own wrongs. This form of love is a choice, as we have seen, and to cross over to the place where we choose to forgive ourselves is no small step. 

So many Christians say: “I can forgive others, but how can I ever forget what I have done? I know God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself.”

We must remember that forgiving ourselves is also a lifelong commitment. In precisely the same way that I must forgive others every single day—which is why I read Luke 6:37 daily—I must also forgive myself.

Forgiving ourselves is also a daily process. We may wake up each day with the awareness of past mistakes and failures—and fervently wish that we could turn the clock back and start all over. We may have feelings of guilt—or pseudoguilt if our sins have been placed under the blood of Christ. But our enemy, the devil, loves to move in and take advantage of our thoughts. That’s why forgiving ourselves is as important as forgiving an enemy. 

Forgiving yourself may bring about the breakthrough you have been looking for. It could set you free in ways you’ve never before experienced. 

This is because we have been afraid to forgive ourselves. We cling to fear as if it were a thing of value. The truth is, this kind of fear is no friend but rather a fierce enemy. The very breath of Satan is behind the fear of forgiving ourselves.

Jesus knows that many of us have this problem. This is a further reason He turned up unexpectedly after His resurrection where, behind closed doors, the disciples were assembled both in terror and in guilt. Jesus not only wanted them to know they were totally forgiven, but He also wanted them to forgive themselves. 

Instead of reminding them of what they had done, He spoke to them as if nothing had happened. He said, “As the Father has sent Me, I also send you” (John 20:21). 

This gave them dignity. It showed them that nothing had occurred that would change Jesus’ plans and strategy for them. He had already sent a signal to Peter, who had denied knowing Jesus, through the angel who said, “But go, tell His disciples—and Peter—that He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him, as He said to you” (Mark 16:7). 

And yet all of them had “forsook Him and fled” (Matt. 26:56). After His crucifixion, they felt utterly unworthy. And then the risen Lord showed up and assured them of a future ministry! 

I have often thought that one of the reasons Peter was so effective on Pentecost was that he was keenly aware of having been forgiven. He knew full well that, just a few weeks before, he had denied Jesus to a little servant girl! He would never forget the look on Jesus’ face when the rooster crowed and that he “went out and wept bitterly” (Luke 22:61-62). It was real antidote to self-righteousness! 

When Peter preached to his fellow Jews on Pentecost, there was no trace of smugness or condescension. Knowing he was a forgiven sinner kept him from usurping God’s glory on that day. God alone received the glory for those 3,000 conversions. 

I remember one Sunday morning just before I was to preach at the 11 o’clock service. I had an argument with my wife, Louise. I should never have done it, but I stormed out, slamming the door in her face. Before I knew it, I was bowing my head on the upper platform at Westminster Chapel before several hundred people. 

I don’t know what they were thinking, but I know what I was thinking: I should not be here. I have no right to be here. Lord, how on earth could You use me today? I am not fit to be in this pulpit. 

It was too late to send a note to Louise saying, “I’m sorry.” There was no way to resolve the situation at that time. I could only ask God for mercy and try my best to forgive myself. I assumed I was about to deliver the biggest flop of a sermon in the history of Westminster Chapel. Never in my life had I felt so unworthy. 

But when I stood up to preach, I was not prepared for the help I received. God simply undergirded me and enabled me to preach as well as I ever had!

That is partly why I think Peter was so successful on Pentecost. When we are emptied of all self-righteousness and pride we enable God to move in and through us.

Let the Past Be … the Past

The sweet consequence of not keeping a record of all wrongs is that we let go of the past and its effect on the present. We cast our care on God and rely on Him to restore the wasted years and to cause everything to turn out for good. 

We find ourselves, almost miraculously, accepting ourselves as we are (just as God does) with all our failures (just as God does), while knowing our potential to make more mistakes. God never becomes disillusioned with us; He loves us and knows us inside out. 

Moses had a past. He was a murderer (see Ex. 2:11–12). But years later he would proclaim the eighth commandment: “You shall not murder” (Ex. 20:13). David had a past, but he also had a future after his shame: “Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You,” he wrote (Ps. 51:13). Jonah deliberately ran from God, but he was still used in an astonishing revival (see Jon. 3). 

Peter’s disgrace—denying Jesus—did not abort God’s plans for him. But all these men had to forgive themselves before they could move into the ministry God had planned for them.

Can you do that? Having forgiven others, it is time to forgive yourself. That is exactly what God wants of you and me. 

It is long overdue: Let the past be past—at last. 

R.T. Kendall was the pastor of Westminster Chapel in London for 25 years and is the author of more than 40 books, including his latest release, Jealousy: The Sin No One Talks About. For more information, visit his website at .

Watch R.T. Kendall share how to totally forgive someone who has offended you at