Dominique Young knows about the dark side of mothering. And now, she doesn’t hesitate to share it. The pastor’s wife and mother of four young children also runs a ministry called Faith Mamas, designed to “boldly combat the loneliness and isolation that have become synonymous with motherhood.”

But when she first experienced a season of anxiety surrounding past traumas, including her own childhood sexual abuse, her first impulse was “to sweep it under the rug,” she says.

She tells Dr. Barbara Lowe on “Dr. Barbara’s Whole Life Podcast” on the Charisma Podcast Network, “I was shocked. I thought I was over this. I thought I was done with what’s going on. But of course, I didn’t tell anybody, because [I thought], I’m a mom. Now I’m supposed to have it all together. I have these little humans to take care of. And I went on like that for a little while. And I ended up in a behavioral hospital; I just completely crashed; I completely had a breakdown.”

And in that difficult season, Young says, she realized something. “This is one of the parts of my testimony. … I thought that I was operating in faith, and I was operating in fear. .. And I would call it faith like, ‘Oh, you know, no, I’m fine; I’m fine. And by the stripes of Jesus, I’m healed. And I would just sweep it under the rug.”

Fear of what others would think and of the pain the healing process might bring kept her hiding in the shadows, Young says. But after her breakdown, “God met me and said, ‘It’s time to deal with this; you’ve got to actually go to counseling; you’ve got to bring this out; you’ve got to talk to your husband about it; you’ve got to tell people what happened.”

That began a layered healing process, Young says, that moved her into freedom. She realized her former sexual abuse “was like an open doorway to the enemy to imprint shame deep within me.” And the way God has turned her deepest, darkest moments into a continuing ministry to other moms through Faith Mamas, she says, is an incredible “accidental ministry.”

To hear more of Dominque Young’s story of transformation and to learn more about Faith Mamas, listen to this podcast. {eoa}

I’m confused.

I understand atheists who say there is no God. I don’t agree with them. But if they choose to hold a position contrary to what the Bible says, they’re free to do so.

I understand Muslims who say Allah is god and Mohammed is his prophet. Again, I don’t agree with them. Still, if they choose to hold a position contrary to what the Bible says, they’re also free to do so.

And I understand Jewish believers who say the promised Messiah has not yet come the first time. Once again, I don’t agree with them, given the mountain of evidence found in their Scriptures (what Christians call the Old Testament) and the fulfilled prophecy recorded in the New Testament. But if they choose not to believe what their own Bible says, that’s their choice.

What I don’t understand is when a professing Christian seminary denigrates the Christian faith by equating the creation with the Creator and still claims to be Christian.

Did you miss it last week?

Prayers to Plants

Union Theological Seminary in New York City recently held an event in which seminary students prayed and confessed the sins of humanity … to plants. Yes, you read that right. They prayed to plants.

Think I’m making this up or perhaps exaggerating? Here’s the announcement on its official Twitter account:

“Today in chapel, we confessed to plants. Together, we held our grief, joy, regret, hope, guilt and sorrow in prayer; offering them to the beings who sustain us but whose gift we too often fail to honor.”

When that announcement caused a backlash, the administration dug in even deeper, defending the chapel service in a series of additional tweets.

I began by saying I’m confused. But a more accurate statement would be that my heart is breaking over their confusion.

I get it. Overall, humanity has not been a good steward of the creation that was entrusted to us. We bear the guilt and shame of such irresponsibility. But the shame is in our failure to obey the Creator, not His creation.

Still, there’s a bigger issue here than a rogue seminary. It’s the issue of letting God be God. These days it seems anyone or anything can be worshipped as God except for the God of the Bible.

Everyone Gets to be God Except God

Want to be your own god? Go right ahead. Believe in Allah? Have at it. Want to believe God is not separate from creation, aka pantheism, or as someone has said, “God is everything and everything is God”? You’ve got lots of company.

But dare to claim God the Father redeemed humanity through God the Son, Jesus Christ, and then applied this salvation by indwelling Christ-followers with God the Holy Spirit. Such a statement is vilified as bigoted, narrow-minded and uneducated.

Everyone gets to be God except God.

—We can confess our sins to plants, but not to God.

—Morality is fine, as long as we’re the ones who define it, instead of God.

—Science is the altar at which humanity worships … until science itself becomes inconvenient:

—Ultrasounds reveal the baby in the womb, so don’t look.

—Biology reveals two genders: male and female, so let’s dismiss the evidence of our own eyes.

The bottom line? The only god we want to worship is ourselves. And once again, everyone gets to be God except God.

It Was Predicted

Ironically, the very Bible dismissed by our culture predicted this would happen.

“Because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him or give thanks to Him as God, but became futile in their imaginations, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools (Rom. 1:21-22).

“They turned the truth of God into a lie and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever” (Rom. 1:25).

“For the time will come when people will not endure sound doctrine, but they will gather to themselves teachers in accordance with their own desires, having itching ears” (2 Tim. 4:3).

How sad that these things have come. And how sad that those who chase these pursuits fail to recognize their ultimate end. Stephen Covey once said, “We are free to choose our actions, but we are not free to choose the consequences of these actions.”

Does it break your heart to hear these things? Are you shedding tears at the folly that will have eternal consequences? Don’t rejoice that such people are facing the torment of eternal separation from their Creator. Instead, pray for softened hearts. Plead for eyes to be opened. And always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have, doing it with gentleness and respect (1 Pet. 3:15).

Regardless of what the world does, in your own life, will you let God be God? {eoa}

Ava Pennington is a writer, speaker and Bible teacher. She writes for nationally circulated magazines and is published in 32 anthologies, including 25 “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books. She also authored Daily Reflections on the Names of God: A Devotional, endorsed by Kay Arthur. Learn more at .

This article originally appeared at .

I want to share this powerful healing testimony from cancer with you from a music minister, longtime friend and sister in Jesus.

She shares on her social media:

I have known this lady, Becky Dvorak for 40 years. She and I sang together at Church of the Jubilee. She watched my stepdaughter when I would go do mime shows.

Along with her 3 biological adult children, she has adopted five boys from Guatemala who are now adults. Some of them had serious health problems and she saw them healed.

She ministers all over the world and sees miracles.

When I was in Washington DC suburbs back in May of 2019, I went to her healing seminar, and today I am healed of cancer. There is no metabolic activity so no radiation treatment is required. No more drugs are needed. After six months of chemo hospitalization, prednisone, and not being able to work, I can honestly say that it has been a real life altering six months for me. But praise God! I am completely healed because of faith in God and keeping my words lined up with life as the Bible says.

Also, three years ago Becky prayed for my knee which had been diagnosed with arthritis as per the x-ray. I would have to have surgery but she prayed for me and my knee was healed.

We rejoice with you, Mary Ellen! {eoa}

Becky Dvorak is a prophetic healing evangelist and the author of DARE to Believe, Greater Than Magic and The Healing Creed. Visit her at .

This article originally appeared at .

Be blessed by these five stories about hope and healing in Charisma’s e-book, Spiritual Strength Through the Valley of Cancer, available for only $.99.

God manifests His shekinah glory through fire, says supernatural minister Jenifer Eivaz. He did it for the children of Israel on their exodus journey, and He’ll do it for you.

This fire is a supernatural fire that accompanies God’s presence, Eivaz explains on the “Take 10 With Jenn” podcast on the Charisma Podcast Network. “When the manifest presence of God falls in the room as He ministers, it feels like fire. To be more specific, it feels like holy fire.” And it has a direct connection to personal holiness, she adds. “Personal holiness and this kind of experience of glory are very much cause and effect, with a whole lot of process in between.”

In Eivaz’s own life, when she surrendered to the fire of holiness, “the Holy Spirit always met me with grace and with power … and He would merge me and His glory fire. …

“We read in the Bible how fire was a symbol for the presence of God, Numbers 9:15[NKJV]. … ‘Now on the day that the tabernacle was raised up, the cloud covered the tabernacle, the tent of the Testimony; from evening until morning it was above the tabernacle like the appearance of fire,'” Eivaz says. “We see in some other verses that the cloud was the glory of God, only with the quality of fire.”

But this manifestation did not end when the Israelites entered the promised land, Eivaz says.. “There have been many testimonies throughout history of people seeing fire on or around the buildings where anointed services were being held.

“I listened to the testimony of Tommy Welchel on Sid Roth’s It’s Supernatural! show, and he is one of the last remaining persons to have physically attended the Azusa Street Revival. And he described meetings where spiritual fire could be seen coming up from the floor, and fire coming down through the ceiling. And this is when the miracles would happen, he said.

“And another young man that I know … shared with me his experience with glory fire. And he said he was privileged to see the Lord moving signs and wonders and glory manifestations in his church, even when he was very young. And he said that during revival meetings, the fire department was contacted after several people in the neighborhood saw the roof of the church on fire. And he explained that the church roof was not physically on fire, but it was a supernatural fire. And the Holy Spirit was allowing people in the neighborhood to see it.”

To learn more about Eivaz’s own experience with glory fire and how you, too, can experience this powerful manifestation of God, listen to this podcast!

To read more about revival, click here to download Charisma’s e-book, The Secret Key to Starting Revival, for just $.99.

I feel as though I have lived two lives. I spent at least 30 years as a super morbidly obese woman, once weighing 430 pounds. The last six years, I’ve lived in what feels like a totally different more normal body. I could have never lost over 250 pounds, though, without understanding some big truths about weight loss.

If someone is overweight, they desperately want to lose weight and lose it right now so they can get on with their lives. They feel everything hinges on one thing—losing weight and losing it fast.

Statistics show that 68% of Americas are overweight, obese or beyond. Studies also show that about half of Americans, both men and women, say they are trying to lose weight. No wonder weight loss is a $60 billion industry.

No Easy Way

Most every diet or weight loss plan promises easy weight loss, but take it from me, there is no easy way to lose weight and keep it off. All the plans that promise quick weight loss are pitched to our secret fantasy that those 20, 50 or 100 pounds will just magically fall off without any effort on our part.

I have to hand it to the marketers. They really are pros at making us believe that their product, diet or supplement is the magic fix that will make it so we can eat whatever we want and lose weight at the same time.

I believed that until everything I tried had only resulted in me eventually gaining more weight. I finally began to see that I was believing in a fairytale.

Does God Love Me if I’m Fat?

What eventually became of paramount importance to me was this: Does God love me even if I’m fat? I knew He did. Scripture tells me there’s nothing that will separate me from His love. He loved me even though I weighed 430 pounds and didn’t love myself.

I also knew that even if I lost weight, He would not love me more than He already did. What had escaped me for most of my adult years was that He loved me too much to leave me where I was. He had great plans for me, and He needed me to be healthy—body, soul and spirit—to fulfill those plans.

He knew certain foods had become a stronghold for me. He knew I had allowed them to become so entrenched in my life that I didn’t think I could live without them. I had put those foods above Him, and He knew that would end in disaster for me if I continued along that path.

I felt foods that contained sugar and flour kept me sane when I ate them. Without them, I felt I might be a screaming maniac. What kind of witness would I be doing that? I felt I had to have those foods so I would have the appearance of being somewhat godly.

What God Says

God has a way of speaking to me so that I can’t get away from what He is saying. One day I was reading a verse I’d read often, but happened to read it in a different translation. All of a sudden it grabbed hold of my heart. It made me stop and reevaluate everything in my life.

“He was saying to them all, ‘If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests], and take up his cross daily [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me]'” (Luke 9:23, AMP).

More than anything, I wanted to be a disciple of Jesus. I wanted to be known as His follower. Until that moment I had not considered the fact that denying myself meant I had selfish interests and that those had to be set aside. I clearly saw that eating whatever I wanted to eat, whenever I wanted to eat it and in whatever quantities I wanted was an extremely self-centered desire. No one needed to be consuming as much food as I was.

Even scarier to me was that I needed to have a willingness to endure whatever might come. I thought of people who don’t have enough to eat. Obesity has been called the affluent addiction. That’s because food costs money and more food costs more money. What if I didn’t have money to buy the foods I loved? The thought frightened me.

I saw that Jesus defined following Him in such specific terms that I began to believe I could never be called His follower. I had to conform to His example in living and suffer or die because of my faith in Him.

How Committed Am I?

Up until this point I felt like I was a pretty committed Christian, but I saw how my commitment was nearly nonexistent. What if He called me to go to a foreign country where the foods I loved were in short supply or where large Americans were seen as greedy? Would I give up the foods I loved to do what God wanted me to do?

What about conforming to His example? Just the fact that Jesus walked every where He went and didn’t care where His next meal came from was enough to rule me out. Then there was that thing about suffering. I realized for me suffering was doing without the foods that got me through the day. I’d even been known to say that I’d die for a piece of Mamaw’s oatmeal cake. It was melodramatic, sure, but also very revealing about my desires.

Through this verse, God clearly showed me the intents of my heart, and they weren’t good. I pretended to be holy. I served on every Christian organization’s board of directors I was invited to, taught every Sunday School class and served on every committee asked of me, volunteered every time I was asked by the church or Christian organizations, but it did not make up for the fact that I had a commitment problem. I was not fully committed to Jesus in every aspect. I was not all in.

What God Requires

God demands allegiance from us if we are to be His followers. It can’t just be lip service. We have to love Him enough to obey Him. That means obeying His written Word, as well as the words we know He is speaking to our hearts.

Most of us spend our time being semi-committed. We waffle on whether or not we will do something because we aren’t sure it will work for us.

I had been on so many diets that I wasn’t sure that I even wanted to try to lose weight again. When I finally saw what God required of me, I made the decision to give everything to follow Him, even in what I ate and how I moved. I wasn’t going on another diet. I was on an all-in commitment journey. That made all the difference.

About Commitment

I had been a pro at not making a commitment to any diet or weight loss plan or program, even Christian ones. I always had an “I’ll try it and see” attitude. When I finally felt like I had come to the end of myself, I realized, I have to make a commitment to this. It’s not an option. This is my last resort, and I will make it work because I am committed to following what God shows me to do.

For years, I thought I was great spiritually, I just had this one area I couldn’t seem to control. But I prayed, I listened, I followed. Well, I followed everything God showed me to do except when it came to what He said about how I should eat and how I should move. Those were my big areas of disobedience, which is the same as saying my areas of sin.

When I finally became desperate enough and surrendered even those areas to God, everything changed for me. everything. It will for those who commit to this journey as well, I can tell you how to do that. I can give you ways to do that, but only you can do it.

Only you can make a firm commitment to be all in. {eoa}

Teresa Shields Parker is the author of five books and two study guides, including her latest, Sweet Journey to Transformation: Practical Steps to Lose Weight and Live Healthy, and her No. 1 best-seller, Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds. She is also a blogger, spiritual weight loss coach (check out her coaching group, Overcomers Academy) and speaker at .

This article originally appeared at .

I have been serving God in a leadership capacity for 17 years straight now. I have seen quite a bit during my years of serving. The longer I served, the more I saw. It’s not easy being in leadership. People do not understand the battles that come with this position.

It is hard for people to understand the downfalls, the shortcomings and the many mistakes that are made behind the scenes. No one can imagine the countless tears, apologies and repenting that goes on during many leaders’ prayer times.

Many will never understand how hard it can be to even start a prayer after being disobedient to God. The devil has a way of binding us with guilt and condemnation. The shackles are real if we continue to believe the enemy and his lies (Rom. 8:1).

It can be enough to drive a person insane. It can cause a person to quit. But I am telling you, God will bring you out.

I didn’t realize I had been fighting depression and anxiety the whole 17 years I walked with God. I was binding and casting out demons, all while struggling unaware. I never understand how and why this continued all while I was doing deliverance on myself and others.

I had no clue what this was. The more I fought in the spirit, the more the devil set me up to take me out. The more I had no idea where his entry was to my soul, the more he took hits against me. I would speak with other apostles and spiritual leaders, and no one could really advise me on the type of warfare I was experiencing. It was super challenging.

I finally sought counseling, even though I have a master’s degree in counseling. I knew I needed tools and an outside point of view. I love my counselor because she is also a believer in the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. It’s amazing how blind we can be because of generational curses and habits we have lived from years ago. I thank God for my Ananias. The scales are being removed, and I can see even more clearly (Acts 9:18).

I believe servants of God need as much unbiased help and support as possible. Pray for your leaders. Help with the burdens. Support them in spirit and in truth. Bad things happen sometimes to good people. Remember the same devil who tries to steal, kill and destroy from you is the same one who is trying to do the same thing to them (John 10:10). Do everything in love and not judgment. Then stand still and watch God move (Ex. 14:13).

Listen to Dr. Gina’s powerful podcast at this link or in this article! {eoa}

Check out Charisma’s new e-book, The Spiritual Warfare Strategy Guide, available here for just $.99!

Gina R. Prince is an apostle of the gospel of Jesus Christ. She has a podcast show called “The Keys Against the Enemy” on . Connect with Gina on Instagram and Twitter @ginarprince as well as Facebook at “The Keys Against the Enemy.” Visit her website at .

Author’s Note: Charisma News presents this article and podcast as the first in our Breast Cancer Awareness emphasis on Charisma News. Watch for a new article each week, and check out the “Hope Through Cancer” podcasts and more on the Charisma Podcast Network.

This year, about 268,600 women will receive a diagnosis of invasive breast cancer, along with 62,930 diagnosed with non-invasive breast cancer. And more than 2,000 men will also be diagnosed with the disease.

Sadly, some of those men and women will see this diagnosis as a punishment from God. But that’s simply not true, Anne Graham Lotz tells host Marti Pieper on the “Hope Through Cancer—Breast Cancer Awareness” series on Charisma News.

What does she say to those who face this disease and experience this crushing fear? The first thing the author, speaker and daughter of the late evangelist Billy Graham would do, she says, is make sure that person has a right relationship with God. And she says it’s never too late to do that.

“You have to turn to Him and come to Him at the cross and ask Him to forgive you and come into your heart, give you eternal life. And He’ll come into you in the person of the Holy Spirit, which is [my] new book, Jesus in Me, that the Holy Spirit is Jesus in you and in me. …

“And He will take responsibility for you. He won’t blame you because you haven’t come to Him before then. He won’t try to get after you; He will pick you up right where you are, and He will guide you and lead you just like He did me, even if it was just yesterday that you have been born again.”

Lotz offers hope to “somebody out there who hasn’t had a right relationship with the Lord. Or maybe they came to the cross a while ago, but they haven’t been living for Him, and they’ve neglected Him or rebelled against Him, or they’ve been living in sin. … And now they think this is what they deserve.

“Our sin doesn’t deserve cancer. Our sin deserves death, and Jesus took that for us on the cross. So the wages of sin is death; the gift of God is eternal life. So don’t think God is punishing you with your cancer.”

To learn more about how the Holy Spirit ministered to Anne Graham Lotz throughout her cancer journey and can do the same for you, listen to this inspiring podcast!

Check out Charisma’s new e-book, Spiritual Strength Through the Valley of Cancer, available here for just $.99.

The enemy is truly in me. It’s difficult to deal with an internal struggle because what most people see is the external manifestation. They see the anger, bitterness, low self-esteem or the emotional instability. It’s easy to make judgment calls when you see a particular action.

But the real enemy is within. I remember my father telling me to sweep down the spiderwebs on the side of our home when I was a kid. I swept every wall, gate and object that was in sight. After I cleared all the spiderwebs, something interesting occurred. They were back the next day. My dad told me that sweeping spiderwebs was a futile exercise. It doesn’t matter how careful you are while sweeping—if you don’t kill the spiders, you will constantly deal with their webs. We live in a world that is consumed with treating symptoms while neglecting to address the source. We can suppress a symptom, but that does nothing to eradicate the cause.

The interrogation that occurs within us is a result of the spirit that has taken up residence and is able to hide, sometimes for years, without being noticed. We aren’t sure how long the man in Mark 5 had been in the tomb, but we can assume it had been some time considering the numerous attempts that had been made to tie him up or to tame him. The community had exerted much energy dealing with the outward manifestations he presented.

What this suggests is that the spirit within the man was able to go unaddressed for years. Though the community knew the man had an unclean spirit, their approach was to remedy his actions rather than deal with what caused them. Within us all there are things that have gone unaddressed. You can know they are there but not know how to address them. This is how the enemy interrogates you. You can function at high levels an create an image while internally struggling with a spirit that constantly torments you.

These enemies within could be pornography, substance abuse, or other addictive or ungodly behaviors that threaten your destiny. When these enemies are active in your life, Satan, who is the enemy of all believers, uses your entertainment of the enemies within you to bring accusations against you. Revelation 12:10 (KJV) tells us that at the end there will be “a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.” Satan sends the enemies and designs the struggles that come against you, and his agenda includes accusing you day and night.

The apostle Paul shed light on this internal interrogation and struggle in Romans 7:14-25. This internal war that Paul described is not unfamiliar to any of us. It’s easy to point to an enemy on the outside, but the enemy is really within. This spirit attaches itself to carnality, where it is more comfortable manifesting. It dwells in your carnality to weigh down your spiritual life and hides within you in an attempt to avoid accountability. By dwelling in your carnality, this spirit is aware that you will not have strength to fight off other spirits because it will cause your carnal nature to overpower your spirit.

I am convinced that carnality works from the inside out. It starts in our mind and manifests in our members. In Galatians 5:17, Paul helps to shed light on this internal battle, stating, “For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.”

The internal struggles and interrogations we experience are quite common among believers. The assumption is often that Christians don’t have these struggles. Many people go through life pretending they don’t exist. It’s easy to present a perception about yourself and an image to feed it. Many of the moral casualties we have experienced in the kingdom could have been prevented had people felt comfortable dealing with the enemy within them.

Maybe you are experiencing the spiritual warfare of interrogation right now. The unclean spirit is telling you, “You will never be free,” or, “Accept this as your new normal.” You have to believe the report of the Lord concerning your life. When spirits have invaded your life, true deliverance can never occur unless you allow God’s Holy Spirit to fill you completely, making no room for the enemy.

Adapted from Restored at the Root by Joseph W. Walker III, ., copyright 2019, published by Charisma House. This book will show you how to treat the cause or root of your inward struggles and not just the symptoms. It will help you confront the enemy in your life, set you free and help you maintain that freedom. To order your copy, click on this link.

Prayer Power for the Week of Sept. 29, 2019

This week, bring your inner struggles to the Lord and ask Him to reveal the root cause that needs to be confronted and removed so you can experience complete healing and freedom. Thank Him for His total deliverance from evil. Continue to pray that God would pour out His Spirit on our nation, bring love where there is hate, unity instead of division, peace instead of hostility, humility where there’s false pride and wisdom where it has lacked. Pray for our leaders, military, first responders and all those who work with our children. Remember our allies and pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Read: 2 Chronicles 7:14, Romans 7:14-25, Galatians 5:17 and 1 John 4:4. {eoa}

“Trekkies on steroids.”

That’s what Brian Bird, executive producer of the Hallmark Channel’s No. 1 series When Calls the Heart, calls the “Hearties,” the show’s half-million identifiable fans.

But, he tells host Dr. Steve Greene on the “Greenelines” podcast on the Charisma Podcast Network, there’s a huge difference between Star Trek devotees and the show’s loyal Hearties. Hearties, he says, are “not just putting on a foil hat and going to a conference somewhere … they’re living it. They’re actually living it with each other in groups. … Across the world, there are Hearties parties happening … They care about one another, they pray for one another, they bring food to one another, they step up in times of need. They’re very much like small-group ministry in churches.”

Bird says this small-group effect is true whether or not the Hearties have a personal faith. Although Bird hopes to see the show endure, “like Gunsmoke, for 24 years …. It’s an evergreen show that we see forever and ever. But at some point, ‘When Calls the Heart’ will end. I don’t think that’s anywhere, anytime soon. … But when it does, what will go on are all these friendships that are being made with the show as a catalyst. And that is the best legacy of what we’re trying to do.”

The show had to make an abrupt plot shift after Lori Loughlin’s exit from the show in season 6 after she and her husband, fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, were indicted in this spring’s college admissions scandal. Is there a possibility Loughlin could return if cleared of the charges? Listen as Bird shares about this and more in this insightful podcast!

After surrendering sugar and learning how to go forward, I began losing weight and keeping it off. I was finally headed in the right direction and had processed and dealt with many things that had held me back on my journey.

Then, I hit what felt like a brick wall.

What Am I Doing Wrong?

I was at the 200 mark and I so wanted to go into “onederland.” I had been steadily losing weight, but when I would see 199, I would panic. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.

I was exercising. I was eating all the right things and none of the wrong things, but I just couldn’t stay at 199. The next day I’d be back to 200 and I would feel myself internally breathe a sigh of relief.

It felt a lot like the Romans 7:19 conundrum. “The good I desire to do, I do not do, but the evil I do not want is what I do.”

If though I understood there was something there, I could not figure out what was holding me back. I thought, Maybe I am at a plateau? Maybe I’m eating too little, and my body thinks it’s in starvation mode? Maybe I’m eating too much, and I need to cut back? Maybe I need to add more vegetables?

I tried many things, but nothing worked.

Strange Question

I shared this at with the meeting of my peers and mentor. The members all gave me input, but nothing was registering.

Then as he had a habit of doing, my mentor asked me a question, which at first seemed totally unrelated to what I had just shared.

“Where did you learn your relationship with food?” The question invaded my mind.

Not for a second did I wonder whether or not I had a relationship with food. I knew I did, and I knew I learned it from my loving grandma, who fed us with every kind of food we wanted, including every type of dessert. We could eat as much as we wanted whenever we wanted it.

Comfort Food

I preferred her more lavish food style to my mother’s three-square meals with fruit for dessert version. What kid wouldn’t want to be able to eat as much dessert as they wanted any time they wanted?

I equated the kind of foods Grandma prepared with comfort and love. When I was away from her and felt overwhelmed, sad, angry, lonely, fearful, worried, stressed or just plain old frustrated, I would make something Grandma would have made and eat that.

It was my comfort food. It would comfort me for a while until the sugar high wore off. Then, I needed more to get the same feeling. Still, fresh-baked oatmeal cookies always seemed to wrap me in Grandma’s arms even if she wasn’t there.

Emotion Versus Truth

In reality, this way of coping wasn’t comforting at all. It was very discomforting. It had caused to gain weight and then struggle through learning how to lose the weight. Now, those same thoughts of comfort were threatening to ruin my healthy living journey.

To not eat or cook those foods felt like I would be abandoning my culture and dishonoring Grandma. It took me a while to process what was happening in my head and heart.

To believe Grandma’s foods, which were my favorites, had been harming me, saddened me. I knew she didn’t aim to hurt me. She fed me out of love. However, the little girl in me was emotionally attached to those comfort foods, which I equated with extreme love.

While the adult me knew I couldn’t eat all of those foods in the quantities I had consumed them in the past and be healthy, the emotional part of me was still stuck back baking cookies with Grandma.

All of sudden God revealed the truth to me. Grandma’s cooking was the wall. Grandma wasn’t the barrier, but her cooking was. I had equated the two. They had become enmeshed in my heart. Could I separate them? Could I still hold a place in my heart for Grandma if I turned my back on the things she cooked?

I couldn’t imagine never again having hot rolls, chocolate pie, brownies, Mamaw’s oatmeal cake or myriads of other special dishes.

Disconnect

The emotional wall of cultural foods was vivid in my mind. They emanated from Grandma’s kitchen. After sharing what I had discovered, my mentor asked, “What would your grandmother say to you if she knew certain foods were causing you to ruin your health?”

I knew she would tell me to give them up. Many times she would say to me, “Honey, you would feel so much better if you would lose some weight.” However, about five minutes later, she would say, “I baked a batch of oatmeal cookies. They’re in the cabinet. Eat as many as you want.” The second message always drowned out the first.

I clearly saw the disconnect between these two statements. I also realized she never saw it. She was a large woman, but never as large as I had gotten. She ate what she needed, but she also worked hard. It never once crossed her mind that certain foods could be addictive.

Forgiveness

During the group meeting, I let those foods go and I embraced more of what my mother had been trying to teach me. Part of me didn’t want to agree she had been trying to teach me a better way than Grandma.

Grandma was my person. Mom was just someone who had problems for most of my growing-up years. Clearly, though, it was true. Mom had the better way.

I forgave myself for not learning the lessons of limited, practical balance meals my mother had been trying to teach me. I said a prayer of thanks for how she tried to take care of us.

I forgave Grandma. This was hard. She was my person. The adult me understood, though, that I could not go forward and reach any of my goals without conquering this issue. The little girl me was still hanging on to those wonderful feelings of love and comfort.

Now that Grandma was gone it seemed the only part of that left was those comfort foods, but they would kill me if I went back to them. I had to work with the Holy Spirit to conquer this difficulty.

True Comfort

I said out loud, “Holy Spirit, I forgive Grandma for feeding me wonderful foods which would become addictive to me. I forgive her for making me feel food equals love and comfort. I understand she would be sad to know what these types of food did to me. I know she did not mean to hurt me.”

Then, I renounced the lie that the Holy Spirit would comfort me in a way that would be harmful to me. I asked, “Holy Spirit, what is Your truth?”

I really didn’t hear or sense words. I simply felt love and peace invade my being, like being swaddled in a warm, secure blanket. I understood, for the first time, this is what real comfort feels like.

It’s not an overfull feeling, which leads to damaging my body. It is a peace like only the Holy Spirit, who is the only true Comforter, brings.

Strength to Overcome

I realized a huge truth here. It’s the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Christ within me, who gives me the strength I need to overcome my difficulties.

“I have learned to be satisfied in any circumstance. I know what it means to lack and I know what it means to experience overwhelming abundance. For I’m trained in the secret of overcoming all things, whether in fullness or in hunger. And I find the strength of Christ’s explosive power infuses me to conquer every difficulty” (Phil. 4:11-13, TPT).

That strength is His Spirit within us. When we rely on the Him to comfort us, to teach us what to do and how to go forward, our lives will fall into place.

Emotions Carry Weight

This incident showed me how heavy emotional baggage really is. I had already given up eating sugar long before. But this was a final severing of those emotional ties with the foods I loved. Within a month, I had dropped another five pounds and moved toward losing the rest of the weight I wanted to lose and then working at keeping it off.

There were many other issues like this that I had to confront as I went forward on my journey. Some of them threatened to ruin all the efforts I had put in so far.

I learned that emotional traumas, faulty mindsets and spiritual lies do add weight to our bodies, and not just in the form of eating too much. My body actually wants to hold on to weight at certain times until I am able to work through whatever is going on.

We must allow God to help us identify and heal those areas that tend to wreak havoc in our bodies. {eoa}

Check out Charisma’s new e-book, Whole and Healthy for God’s Kingdom, available for just $.99 at this link!

Teresa Shields Parker is the author of five books and two study guides, including her latest, Sweet Journey to Transformation: Practical Steps to Lose Weight and Live Healthy, and her No. 1 best-seller, Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds. She is also a blogger, spiritual weight loss coach (check out her coaching group, Overcomers Academy) and speaker at .

This article originally appeared at .